


Proud of You

by Emiliajane04



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol, Bigotry & Prejudice, Birthday, Coming Out, Disfigurement, F/F, Girls Kissing, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Kissing, Love Confessions, Making Love, Making Out, Parent-Child Relationship, Past Violence, Permanent Injury, Suicidal Thoughts, Trans Character, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2020-12-24 03:43:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 50,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21092840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emiliajane04/pseuds/Emiliajane04
Summary: When June Egbert has an impromptu coming out to her best friend, she realizes that it's about time she does the same for her other friends. The unexpected arrival of Terezi Pyrope throws a wrench into her plans, and she must adjust both to changing how she was going to come out to the people closest to her, as well as how she will deal with the spark of red blossoming between the two and Terezi's own opinions on her transition.





	1. Chapter 1

June is taking her time with telling her friends her new name. She’s taking her time with most things, these days. It took her twenty-three years to even realize that she’s a girl, what’s another few months to fill everybody else in? She doesn’t see them -- her friends -- that often, anyway. They’ve all settled into their new lives. Vivid, beautiful reflections of the old. They’re living their lives as gods, now, worshipped by the people they created, and she’s still tucked away in the only home she’s ever known, in her own little corner of a world they shaped for themselves. 

She’s started letting her hair grow out. Just to see how it feels. She sees Jade from time to time, and every time her sister turns her head and a wave of enormous, black locks spills out over her shoulders, June’s stomach gives a twist and her fingers squeeze a little tighter around anything she’s holding. She imagines hers won’t look too different from Jade’s, once she’s given it the time and care that it needs. Thinking of it, imagining it, sends her heart all nervous and aflutter. 

She’s sitting, alone, in her kitchen. The same one that used to be her dad’s perpetual home within their home, and was never empty of the scent of baked goods. She hasn't seen or heard from Jade -- or any of her friends, for that matter -- since her birthday party a week before. A bowl of cereal sits in front of her, steadily growing soggier the longer she leaves it untouched and instead chooses to stare out of her window. The clouds drifting overhead have always been a comforting sight. Always so listless, peaceful, and oddly familiar. She used to be able to pick out a handful of images in them when she first got there. Her dad’s hat and pipe, the adorable face of a salamander she once knew, or the beautiful locks of auburn hair of an actor who went the way of the dinosaurs along with most of the rest of her planet. 

Lately, though, she’s seen other shapes, too. Round glasses that she thinks might flatter her face better than the square ones she had worn her whole life. A tube of lipstick that must belong to Rose or Kanaya. A dress that would fit just right, emblazoned with the symbol of breath across the breast. Even that flowing hair, while still familiar, no longer belongs to the greatest actor to walk the Earth -- A, B, C, or otherwise. Now, that hair was all hers. 

She finally reaches down, without tearing her eyes away from the sky, and lifts the spoon to her lips. She’s met with a bland mush of corn flakes that have turned into a rubbery, tasteless, mash. It feels like chewing on wet cardboard that had been left in the sun, and she promptly spits the warm mouthful of mush back into the bowl.

She summarily dumps the bowl of ill-treated grains down the garbage disposal and flushes it away. That was the last real food she had in the house, and she wasn’t likely to drag herself outside to get more today than she has been for the last week. With a sigh, she opens the freezer and resigns herself to another breakfast of leftover birthday cake. She leans against the counter, takes a single bite of the hard, frozen icing, and lets her eyes drift back to the world outside. 

The pure shock of sugar hits her palette like a pie to the face, and she thinks about her Nanna. For the first time, it occurs to her that maybe she should be the first to know. After all, she’s the closest person she has to a mother, even if she never got the chance to meet her when she was alive. And she's friends with an alternate universe version of her who’s his own age. Genetically, she's not even just the closest thing that June has to a mother, she really is. 

She thinks about taking a flight to find her and have a talk, when she’s interrupted by a shock of blond hair that crosses the path of her kitchen window. This is followed by a glint of sunlight off of a no longer ironic pair of aviators and a rhythmic knocking that tries a little too hard to hold a steady beat on her back door. Dave’s arrival pulls her right out of her own head and back into the moment. 

She throws open the back door and flashes a smile to her oldest friend, standing at her door in the same red outfit he always wears, ever since they left their own universe behind. It’s quite different from the way he usually wears it, and this takes her by surprise. The squared, renaissance fair collar that usually hangs around his neck is gone, and the cape he’s worn almost every day for the last seven years has been replaced by a sharp, red scarf. At first, she thinks that maybe Karkat has made him change up his style, but then she notices the softly shaded stripes running it’s length and a little pink "RL" sewn right by the end.

Dave: sup john

Dave holds up two grocery bags, waving them in June’s face. Her throat knots up when he says her old name. 

Dave: can i come in? im dripping on your perfectly manicured concrete  
Dave: i know your dad spent ages carving these stairs out with his own manly hands id hate to ruin them

June waves him inside, without a word but with a nod and a trademarked Toothy Egbert Grin. She takes the bags from him and sets them on the counter next to her barely touched breakfast of saccharine baked goods.

Dave takes a seat at the table, kicking his feet up on the windowsill. He sets a hand on the table and takes to tapping out the same beat with his fingers that he had rapped on the door. 

Dave: so john  
Dave: bro  
Dave: buddy  
Dave: john  
Dave: hows it going  
Dave: how is my oldest bro on this the finest of all post birthdays?

Every time he said her old name was a punch to the throat that he didn’t mean to throw. If he knew, he would have felt like shit and she would never have heard the end of his apologies. She almost said something. He had taken it so well when Roxy told him the same thing, of course he would take it well coming from her. 

But she didn’t. Instead, she choked an awkward reply around the fist Dave was inadvertently shoving down her gullet. 

June: uh, good, i guess. it was nice to see everyone again  
June: which, speaking of, uh........  
June: why are you........  
June: here?

Dave: wow john  
Dave: twenty three years of glorious life and the nuances of tact still slip from your fingers  
Dave: i told you last week i would swing by to keep you some company and bring you some stuff since youve been having a rough time like getting out of the house and what have you  
Dave: remember?

She did not.

June: i do not.

Dave: damn okay thats fine

Dave seems to take sudden notice of the grocery bags on the counter and gives a twirl of his hand in their direction. 

Dave: i didnt know what to get you and you uh  
Dave: didnt respond to my texts  
Dave: so i just got what i normally get for me and karkat  
Dave: its mostly ice cream  
Dave: hence the dripping  
Dave: i flew it all the way from the troll kingdom cause karkat showed me this little place thats more adorable than a bundle of purrbeasts - sorry i mean cats - and has the best ice cream

June: oh  
June: that is fine

She rubs the back of her neck and tries to hide the red rising in her cheeks. Had she asked him to help? Is she in such a bad place that she can’t do her most basic chores and even Dave noticed? Had he offered to help? And more importantly, had she been so drunk at her own birthday party that she hadn’t even realized it happened? What else did she not remember?

Dave: i hope you like mint chocolate chip  
Dave: or actually that may be bugs im not totally clear on that  
Dave: and waffle cones  
Dave: and aj  
Dave: and sprinkles  
Dave: karkat insisted i get sprinkles too because  
Dave: and i quote verbatim  
Dave: "he needs something to help him lighten up a little holy fuck what a sourpuss"  
Dave: the irony is palpable

June: well, make sure you thank him. i do, in fact, love sprinkles  
June: but uh it may take me a while to eat all of this...

She peeks into the bag and finds that when Dave said it was mostly ice cream, he did, in fact, mean that it’s all ice cream. About twelve cartons of it. And then all of the ice cream accoutrements and a super sized jug of good ‘ole AJ. 

June: i am kinda going through a bit of a sweets overload, what with the birthday and all.

Dave: shit i didnt think of that  
Dave: do you want me to go and get you a vegetable or something  
Dave: or i dunno a  
Dave: bread

June: no, no! its fine, really! this is great and i appreciate it! and it will force me to tear myself away from just hanging around to get myself some real food, soon.  
June: i think that rose wants to invite me over so that she and kanaya can make me dinner sometime.  
June: so i will let them cover my nutritional bases while you have my back when it comes to sweets

She puts the ice cream away and it takes up all of the space in the freezer that the leftover cake doesn’t. She takes a seat next to Dave at the table and rests her chin in her hands. 

June: what are you and karkat up to these days? i feel like i never see you guys anymore

Dave: same old same old  
Dave: i kinda got over the whole five feet apart at all times because we're not gay thing  
Dave: roxy and callie made sure of that and its been nice since  
Dave: a lot of gay ass kissing and stuff  
Dave: our place is not exactly an egbert scene these days

This makes her hesitate before she replies. Dave is way more open than he’s ever been in the past about his bisexuality. He’s basically made it a part of who he is in the most public ways possible. As if officially dating Karkat isn’t enough to let people know, their house has a giant bi flag that he had Kanaya make for them strung up across the front wall, and he threw himself a giant coming out party that he DJ’d himself. If there was any doubt that he was bi and maddeningly in love with his boyfriend, he cleared it up with that gesture. 

And June is happy for him. She really is. But she would be lying to herself if she didn’t acknowledge that it made it a little difficult to talk to him when she’s locked so deeply in her own closet. Frankly, she doesn’t know what to say. Anything she can think to would out her. So instead she says nothing and stares over Dave’s shoulder to the clouds outside, hoping that he’ll just keep talking. 

She isn’t sure of quite how long she’s been staring -- or what Dave is saying -- but it must have been long enough for him to notice that her attention is flagging. He sticks a hand in her face and waves it, getting no response. He snaps his fingers right under her nose and this barely manages to grab her attention. 

Dave: yo earth c to john  
Dave: where ya at bro

June: huh?

Dave sits back in the chair and gives her a long, steady look. She can’t see his eyes behind his glasses, but from the slight turning up of his lip, she knows they’re furrowed in concern. 

Dave: john are you okay?  
Dave: i mean like  
Dave: okay okay  
Dave: not like the okay thats okay in a sense where we've all been through a lot of bullshit that would have killed lesser men  
Dave: and should definitely be dead but are somehow still kickin and chillin and acting like nothings wrong  
Dave: like are you even okay at that pretend level?  
Dave: you were super out of it at your party last week like a god damn zombie  
Dave: straight up romero face all night

June blinks a few times. By the third or fourth flutter of her lashes, she realizes that she’s blinking back a few tears. 

Dave: woah  
Dave: okay  
Dave: uh  
Dave: i didnt have a feelings jam session on the docket today but shit lets pencil you in bro

Dave swings his feet down from the windowsill and kicks off of the ground to float over to the freezer. He pulls out one of the containers of ice cream and sets about whipping up a bowl for the two of them to share. 

June: jeez, sorry, i dont know-

Dave: hey you dont have to explain shit john  
Dave: but whatevers bothering you we're gonna eat some ice cream about it  
Dave: and if you wanna talk we'll rap it out

He takes two spoons, sticks them in either side of the bowl, then sets the bowl and himself back down at the table with her. She wipes her nose with the sleeve of her sweater and sniffs. The tears are starting to flow more heavily and around anybody but Dave, she would be far more embarrassed than she already is. 

Dave: do you want like a napkin or something

She laughs. 

June: im fine. really.

Dave: well clearly thats a big fat lie

He spoons a huge chunk of ice cream into his mouth and talks around it. 

Dave: so whats going on? whats turned on the spigot of the egbert waterworks?

June looks down at the table, where her arms are crossed. She plays with a loose thread hanging from the sleeve at the wrist. She curls it around her fingers and doesn’t look up at her friend, who's silently waiting for her and giving her the space that she needs. 

June: i........

Does she tell him? Is Dave the first person who’s going to hear her say it? She didn’t wake up that morning planning to tell anybody, and the only person it had crossed her mind to tell was her own grandmother, not Dave. But Dave is family, too. 

He might as well be her brother. So, she might as well tell him first. 

She feels them coming. Feels them welling up in her throat that’s also holding back sobs. She brushes her hair -- which is just long enough that it’s beginning to fall into her eyes -- away from where her tears are making it cling to her face. She swallows heavily and her eyes meet Dave’s. While she’s been avoiding his concerned stare, he’s taken off his glasses and sure enough, she finds two red eyes furrowed up with care for her friend. 

She tries to sit up a little bit straighter. To compose herself. To have a little dignity when laying herself bare. 

It occurs to her that her dad would tell her that she’s facing it like a man. The thought makes her crumple again and she falls, face down, into the sleeves of her sweater. 

June: dave...  
June: i really want to tell you...

She speaks through the muffled sobs that are rolling out now in force. 

Dave gives a little, exaggerated cough like he's announcing that he's about to say something that might be a bit awkward.

Dave: john are you  
Dave: are you gay?

This puts a stop to her tears like a door slammed in her face. She lifts her head and looks at him. He’s placed a hand between them on the table, as if he had started to reach for her own hand and had come up short. 

She laughs. She laughs so hard that she starts to cry again. She wipes away the fresh tears with the sleeve that she has not yet used as a tissue. 

June: no!!!!!!!!  
June: no, dave, i am not a homosexual!

Her next words spill out of her mouth uncontrollably, like a bag of marbles dropped and rolling across the floor. 

June: i am a girl!

She keeps laughing and shoves her quickly reddening face back into her sleeves. Dave doesn’t say anything for a moment and if she was looking at him she would see that small, silent tears are welling up in his own eyes. 

Dave: oh  
Dave: oh shit  
Dave: fuck bro  
Dave: i mean shit uh  
Dave: sis  
Dave: fuck  
Dave: have you  
Dave: have you uh told anyone? besides me?

June lifts her head up again and sets her chin down on her arms. The wetness left by her tears on the fabric is warm and the few still streaming down her face make it worse as they soak her sweater further. 

June: if i am being honest with you, i havent even said it aloud until just now.

Dave: damn well  
Dave: im glad you let it out but shit you were our one straight dude  
Dave: what are we gonna do now? whos gonna grill stuff for us? and be uncomfortable giving me a hug in public? or show us shitty nic cage movies like theyre the be all end all of good cinema?  
Dave: i guess that last one will probably still be you huh  
Dave: but i guess youre our one straight girl now?  
Dave: oh wait do you like dudes? i mean not that sexuality has anything at all to do with this kind of thing but you did just say that you are not a homosexual so like  
Dave: fuck im just saying shit now sorry im not trying to make this awkward

June: you are not making it any more awkward than i already am. but no, i do not like dudes.  
June: i have mostly just been too caught up in what it means for me individually to think about any relationship stuff.  
June: i guess thats the next logical step though.

Dave: yeah yeah  
Dave: but i mean dont feel like you have to rush telling anyone  
Dave: i know that probably sounds pretty rich coming from dave sort-of-had-a-boyfriend-for-like-five-years-before-finally-even-telling-the-adorable-idiot-that-he-likes-dudes strider  
Dave: but i mean it  
Dave: take your time  
Dave: roxy only told us when he did cause he had callie to be like his rock and shit if it wasnt for them i dont know if we would know anything about his whole deal even now

June: yeah. and it is not like i am desperately searching for a girlfriend. unless my dream girl is hiding in my freezer or between my couch cushions ha ha. 

Dave: okay so you definitely dont like dudes and you definitely do still dig the ladies and only the ladies. no one else? like if callie or roxy was free you wouldnt jump into a sweet sexy queer deal with one of them?

This question throws her off her guard. She hasn’t thought about her feelings for Roxy since she had pushed them from her mind shortly after he came out as a big, confusing void of gender. 

She stares at Dave, who leans forward on his elbows and squints at her appraisingly, waiting for an answer. She pushes the confusion about what all of this means for her old, lingering feelings toward her friend aside, if only to be able to give him an answer. 

June: uh, yes? i think? i mean i do not think i would no.

Dave: you know what this means dont you

June: no????

Dave’s face is more deathly serious than she has ever seen it before that moment. His cool guy visage is smoothed over with a true severity that's a far cry from the faux iciness he usually puts on. Whatever he’s about to say, he really and truly means it the most that Dave can really and truly mean anything. 

Dave: john  
Dave: you are a homosexual

June: what?

Dave: you only like ladies  
Dave: you are a lady  
Dave: homosexual

June: ........  
June: ........  
June: ........  
June: oh god dammit

Dave: it was only a matter of time really  
Dave: the irony of it is too strong  
Dave: no universe can resist taking advantage of such pure dramatic energy

Dave takes another bite of ice cream and June realizes that he has already eaten most of it and she hasn’t so much as touched the spoon he gave her. She reaches out, takes a single bite and savors the sweet flavor. It hits her that she doesn’t remember the last time she enjoyed something she ate or… Well.

Anything, really.

Not in months. Or years, maybe. But that single bite of ice cream fills her mouth with a crisp smack of mint and chocolate and she revels in it. It brings a real and honest smile to her face which Dave picks up on right away. 

He clasps his own hand over hers and gives it a squeeze. His mouth curls up again, this time to strike up a smile that mirrors her own. 

Dave: so  
Dave: do you have a name picked out? sweet new threads? not that clothes mean anything just uh  
Dave: im just curious

June: oh, uh....

She hasn’t said her name aloud since she picked it. She said it once, right after she decided what it would be, standing alone in her bedroom. She let it fill the air around her like a summer breeze. It had sounded so right and so she plucked it from the air and held it close and tight.

June: i have not decided on clothes yet. i have not thought about it much. maybe i will play around a bit with my godhood and see if i like it better some other way. a dress does sound nice.  
June: but i might also just keep it how it is now. i do not hate it or anything.  
June: but........  
June: i do have a name.

Dave: lay down the beat for me br- uh girl

June’s cheeks flush a deeper red than the scarf around her best friend’s neck. She holds her hands balled up in the overlong sleeves of her sweater. She’s found herself slipping into little, more effeminate actions like that. Things she hadn’t realized she didn’t let her body do before, subconsciously, because they weren’t aligned with her concept of “man.” 

She whispers her name through the thick fabric and Dave can just barely make it out.

June: it is june.

Dave: june

Dave repeats it slowly, letting it hang around the table and ring out around their heads.

Dave: juuuuuuuune  
Dave: heh  
Dave: it kinda sounds like your old name but if you just pronounced it really long and shit

June: ha ha yeah.

Dave: so should i start calling you that in private until you talk to everyone else?

This makes June perk up. She’s basically forgotten what it feels like to perk up, and it makes her stomach flip in excitement. 

June: yeah, actually, if you dont mind!

Dave: and she i assume?

June: yes, only that! no hes or hims and what have you.

Dave: cool cool  
Dave: hey so  
Dave: im legitimately really happy for you  
Dave: i know what its like to dance around something like this for so long seeing as im basically the king of doing literally exactly that  
Dave: and youve always been the one of us to do  
Dave: well  
Dave: not that  
Dave: youve always been the most courageous out of all of us no matter how much i like to play it cool or dirk likes to act tough  
Dave: so i guess what im getting at is  
Dave: im proud of you

June: thanks dave, im proud of you too.

Dave: shit look at us a couple of proud gay bitches  
Dave: who would have thought  
Dave: oh shit wait  
Dave: is bitches offensive? dammit i shouldnt say bitches  
Dave: fuck there i go again  
Dave: sorry you arent a bitch

June laughs again. Were she not a newly discovered homosexual, she might have even found it cute.

June: ha ha i do not think i am offended... maybe? i do not know i am still sorting all of this out. 

Dave: alright cool  
Dave: im gonna go with "no more bitches" just to be safe

June: probably a good idea

Dave leans forward on his arms, crossing them beneath his chin and matching her posture. 

Dave: now i guess thats all out of the closet and off the table and all that is there anything that you need from me? since im the closest thing you have to like some kind of rad queer role model i guess  
Dave: an elder gay

June immediately thinks of Roxy again, who not only came out before Dave did, and is much closer to her own flavor of queer. But she doesn’t say anything about it, she’s perfectly happy to let Dave have this one. 

June: maybe  
June: actually, yes, i have a question.

Dave: shoot girl

June: so........

June swallows down the trepidation in her voice and fights past the lump that tries to block up her words. Dave is here to help. He cares. She can ask him. 

She puts the last bite of the ice cream in her mouth and lets it melt as she tries to decide how to say what it is that she wants to say. She rolls her eyes to one side in thought and Dave follows them carefully. He waits, patiently, expecting nothing from her.

She’s glad that she told him first. 

She smiles at him and in that moment she’s never been more happy to have him as her best friend. There’s a part of her that’s glad that Karkat wasn’t there. He would laugh at the two of them, sitting there, holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes. He would go on about pale quadrants and waxing and all that. If he could see the tender look on both of their faces, they would never hear the end of it. She counts herself lucky that she’s only got the helpful boyfriend here with her. 

June: dave........  
June: i was not really around when you talked to everyone else about........ everything........

Her voice is quiet but calm. A gentle breeze blows over the pair - literally, she realizes - and she sighs, sinking into the atmosphere her powers are creating, ready for the rest of the conversation to come. 

June: how did you tell all of our other friends?


	2. Chapter 2

It's been days since Terezi lost track of how long she's been flying. Or maybe even a perigee. She certainly has no exact clue. Her days have been marked by how many bottles of water she’s managed to choke down around the dry cotton of her throat, and how many brown shelled legumes she’s cracked open. And how many messages she’s received from John.

Her sylladex was emptied of any water or legumes - shelled or otherwise - two dream bubbles ago, and her palmhusk has been empty of any news from John for even longer. She’s growing delirious. Her mind wanders to thoughts of what she left behind. The friends. The brand new universe, a place to get a fresh start. To John. 

She doesn’t know how long it’s been since he texted her, but she’s positive that it’s been longer between his little check-ins than it’s ever been before, which might have been perigees for her, and was definitely even longer for him. Not that she can even be sure of that, the way time is warping around her out here past anything and everything.

She’s a little worried. 

Moreso, she realizes with a grim punch to her stomach, than she’s ever been worried about Vriska. At least not for most of her trip. When she thinks about Vriska, her thoughts are turning away from any kind of active search for her moirail, and instead turn to frustration that she left in the first place. When Vriska had taken off that day, she had all the flutters and goosebumps of flushed feelings swimming around in her pump. But now she can hardly bring herself to care enough to push on through yet another dream bubble looking for her.

But when she thinks of John, she misses him. She misses his texts when she isn’t getting them. The tiny window on her palmhusk into a world she chose to leave behind. To abandon in favor of someone who abandoned her.

What is she doing?

She comes to a sudden stop in her flight, hanging like a marionette in the unfathomable black depths of the furthest ring. Her blind eyes are dark and sunken behind her glasses, and her already slight frame is skeletal. Her breaths come in quiet rasps, the only sound in the universe as she cuts off her rocket pack. 

She needs a moment to think. 

Her mind turns with more difficulty than it normally would. Her exhaustion is a wrench tossed in the gears of her thinkpan, her past choices sabotaging her thought process in the present. She struggles, but she manages to pull together a train of thought and set it on its rails. 

She isn’t going to find her. Wherever she is, even if she’s close, one of them will be dead before she finds her. If she isn’t dead already. And if she isn’t -- if she’s still out there somewhere -- she’s either too far away and Terezi doesn’t have enough time or she’s not finished with whatever she set out to do in the first place and won’t come with her. Or she doesn’t even want to be found. 

And even if she does want to be found, why should Terezi be the one to find her? To put in all of this effort? Why is it always her trying, and Vriska not even being around to see all of the energy and essence she’s pouring into the attempt? Vriska abandoned her, not the other way around. Sure, some other Terezi had killed her once, a long time ago, in another universe. But that wasn’t her. She didn’t even get a chance to make that choice. To flip that coin. She owes no penance.

But Vriska did have a choice, and she made it. She could have stayed. She could have helped, and could have been there for her moirail when she needed her most. No matter how important it is was that Vriska take off to do whatever it is she set out to do, it wasn't more important than their partnership. She should have taken her with her. Or at least she could have waited to go until she knew that they would be safe. That they could see each other again, for certain. But no matter how important Vriska's task was, Terezi got the feeling that it was more important that Vriska be the one to do it, as far as Vriska herself was concerned. Time wasn't ticking to keep the important task from getting done, time was ticking to make sure she got the credit for doing it.

She didn't leave when she did because she had to. She left because if she didn't, someone else might have taken the spotlight from her. She's the one who walked away from their partnership -- their sisterhood -- just like she did all those sweeps ago when they were teenagers. Terezi didn't.

She’s fallen for Vriska's promises twice. She’s been a sucker twice. 

She won’t let herself be made a fool for a third time. And she certainly isn’t going to die trying to play that role. 

She clicks her rocket pack back on, pulls her palmhusk out of her sylladex, flicks it open, and sends a message -- before he does, for once. 

When she opens up his messages, she's greeted to the sight of the last message she received from him. A long, rambling, drunken text that she got on what must have been his birthday. It was difficult to make out what he was trying to say, but it ended in a statement that she couldn't misread or misinterpret through the sloppiness his alcohol fueled fingers had typed.

June: terzi, i mis yooooou

She scrolls past his message and types out her own.

Terezi: H3Y JOHN.   
Terezi: TH1S WHOLE TH1NG 1S STUP1D.  
Terezi: 4ND 1 M1SS YOU TOO.  
Terezi: S33 YOU SOON.  
Terezi: N3RD.  
Terezi: 1 M3AN 1M COM1NG TO E4RTH C 1F TH4T W4SNT CL34R.  
Terezi: N3RD. >:P

She tucks her palmhusk away again and kicks herself forward. She flies through the void, one bright spark of candy red fire in the darkness, propelled as much by the anger in her pump for her moirail and the desire to see her friends as she is the rocket on her back. 

She passes dream bubble after dream bubble, a giant monstrosity of a horrorterror, and even a four wheel device -- that she decides not to question -- on her mad dash back to the platform that was the symbol of their victory. Several days pass before her crimson shoes touch down on the stone face of the frog chiseled on the slab. 

She hasn’t heard a word from John. 

Before her, the delicious, strawberry shape of a human hive rises, towering. A monument to the universe she knows is on the other side of it. A single door stands between her and one last choice. On this side, history. Chemistry. What once was love, and hate, and everything in between. A girl who stole her heart and has never given it back, no matter the ransom she’s been offered. On the other side, respect. Care. Communication. Someone she barely knows but who’s been through hell with her, even hell that she doesn't remember because it wasn't her. Someone who has never walked away, even when he was doing literally that. Even when she hated him, if she ever really did. On the other side is the promise of friendship, and of promises kept. No secrets. No searching. 

Her heels click on the stone and she approaches the door with slight hesitation. She’s turned around and come all this way. Given up on finding her. She can’t give up on giving up. 

But nonetheless, she almost does. The thought of Vriska’s face pops into her mind. Those eyes that pierce through her like a sword to the chest. The crinkle of her nose as she grins. Her fangs, jutting over her lip. Her smile. 

Her hand sits on the doorknob. Either from emotion or exhaustion -- and likely both, given just how close to death she is -- her hand is shaking. She brushes the thoughts of her away. If she cared, if her smile meant anything now, she would be there with her. If it ever did mean anything, maybe she would see her again some day.

She doubts that she will. 

With effort, she turns the knob and lets the light of a new universe wash over her. A new home. 

She makes her choice.


	3. Chapter 3

June's hand hangs, frozen, in midair. She's been trying to force herself to knock for several minutes, with no success. Every bone in her body is telling her to run, and every thought in her mind is of how much nicer it would be to be tucked away safely in her bed than to have a difficult conversation with the women on the other side of the door. As soon as she knocks, she's going to take away her option to leave. As soon as they know that she's there, she won't be able to run anymore. 

Before she can make a choice, it's stolen from her anyway. 

The door to the Maryam-LaLonde apartment swings open, letting the sweet smell of whatever is cooking inside and the lilting harmony of a violin waft out and surround her. Standing in the doorway, Kanaya gives her a soft smile, gently touches her fist -- still held up and ready to knock -- lowering it to her side. 

Kanaya: Good Evening John  
Kanaya: I Was Beginning To Grow Worried That You Have Forgotten How Doors Work  
Kanaya: I Assume This Is Not The Case

June: oh ha ha no, sorry. hi.  
June: i was just uh... caught up in my thoughts.

Kanaya: It Happens To The Best Of Us  
Kanaya: Come On In

She steps aside and waves a hand to invite June inside. June strides past her into the apartment and nervously holds her hands behind her back. Kanaya shuts the door behind them and the two are alone in a living room that she's only been in a handful of times before, and even then, not in several years. 

Everything looks vastly different than the last time she was there. Kanaya has clearly been hard at work sewing decorations and Rose has several of her own paintings hung up on the wall. June didn't know that she had started painting and the only reason she knows that they're Rose's is because of the white "RL" signed in the corner of each. The subject matter is a strong clue, as well. Most of them are paintings of black night skies, touched in the shadows by twisting tentacles and eyes that are barely visible. Except for one -- a painting larger than all of the others that's a heroic rendition of her and Kanaya's wedding day, with her holding Kanaya in her arms as if she's going to walk her across the threshold of their home. They're beautiful, both the paintings in general and her friends as well. Her heart tilts at the guilt of seeing all of the hard work her friend has done that she hasn't been around to even hear about, let alone see with her own eyes. 

Kanaya: Have A Seat John  
Kanaya: Rose Doesn't Know That You're Here Yet And I Would Like To Talk To You While She's Preoccupied

June: oh alright

She takes a seat in a large armchair decorated with a rainbow throw that was clearly sewn by Kanaya. It's bright, gorgeous, and it shines like a beacon of light through the deep pall cast over the room by Rose's equally gorgeous, but admittedly off-putting paintings. She rests her arms on the arm rests -- as one does -- and squeezes them so tightly that her fingertips turn white. She hasn't had it happen to her in a long time, but she knows it's rarely a good thing when someone asks you to sit down like that.

Kanaya: She Is Overjoyed That You've Decided To Join Us Tonight  
Kanaya: She's Been Talking About It All Day  
Kanaya: She Has No Idea What You'll Want To Do Though So She Bought A Board Game  
Kanaya: This Was Quite Unlike Her

June: i'm excited to see you guys too!! it feels like it's been ages since i've seen either of y-

Kanaya: It Has Indeed Been Ages  
Kanaya: Not For Her Lack Of Trying  
Kanaya: I Won't Beat Around The Bush  
Kanaya: I Don't Know What's Going On With You John But You've Caused Her Quite A Good Deal Of Strife  
Kanaya: Tell Me  
Kanaya: Do You Have Any Idea How Many Times She's Tried To Call Or Text You In The Last Six Months Alone

June: uh yeah i have been kind of-

Kanaya: I Was Not Being Facetious  
Kanaya: Please  
Kanaya: Tell Me How Many Times She's Tried To Get In Touch

June: i guess i don't really know... i-

Kanaya: That's Right  
Kanaya: You Don't Know

Kanaya's face is a solid mask of neutral stoicism. Her words are angry, and her tone should be just as furious, but instead she's cold and methodical. She's been over this conversation in her mind before, and either she's so past the point of rage that she's looped around back to dispassionate placidity or she isn't nearly as angry as she seems. It is almost certainly the former. 

Kanaya: For The Record  
Kanaya: She Knows Exactly How Many Times She's Tried To Talk To You  
Kanaya: As Do I  
Kanaya: I'm Hoping That Your Presence Here Tonight Means That Whatever Has Kept You At Arm's Length Has Passed  
Kanaya: For Her Sake As Well As Yours  
Kanaya: You're Like A Brother To Her John  
Kanaya: She Loves You  
Kanaya: Your Distance Hurts Her

June doesn't know what to say. Her words close up in her throat. She's so terrified, and so immensely guilty, she can't even bring herself to cry, and even if she could she would stifle it to keep from alerting Rose to her presence. She just stares in stunned silence at the troll standing beside the doorway opposite her. 

She should have expected one of them to say something about her mysterious absence, but somehow she didn't. Maybe it's the elation of how well she's been figuring herself out, or maybe it's just her unflagging optimism, but it genuinely had not occurred to her that anything she had done would have pushed Rose away as much as it seems to have done. 

June: i'm sorry.

Kanaya: I Knew You Would Be  
Kanaya: Sigh  
Kanaya: It May Not Sound Like It As I Am Practically Screaming At You Right Now  
Kanaya: But I'm Not Angry And Neither Is She  
Kanaya: I Don't Know What's Been Going On But We're Both Here For You  
Kanaya: She Might Not Be The Best At Expressing It  
Kanaya: And It Might Not Be Clear With All Of The Analyzing She Will Definitely Do But She Wants To Help  
Kanaya: We Want To Help  
Kanaya: So Don't Tell Me That You're Sorry Tell Her

Kanaya's icy expression melts and her smile returns to her face, soft and more reassuring than her words. She walks over to the chair and extends a hand to June.

Kanaya: Let's Enjoy Our Evening

June takes her hand, but she can't bring herself to look her in the eye. Kanaya looks her up and down. The troll is tall -- taller than June, by a head -- and otherworldly. Not only in the sense that she's even more an alien to this planet than June is, but in the presence she casts over the room. She casts a shadow around her that isn't visible, but feels as intrusive as the light that sometimes shines from her when she wants it to. 

Kanaya: You're Shaking Like An Oblong Photosynthesis Frond  
Kanaya: I'm Sorry  
Kanaya: I Didn't Mean To Frighten You

June: you did not  
June: well, you did, but that's not why i'm shaking  
June: i just didn't realize that i was doing....  
June: that  
June: or... i guess i did, but i was hoping i could ignore it.

Kanaya: Would You Like A Hug  
Kanaya: Rose Has Been Encouraging Me To Give More Of Those  
Kanaya: Though I Believe Her Encouragement To Be Rather Selfish In Nature

Kanaya opens her arms in a way that she definitely never has to June in the past, and June takes the embrace reluctantly. Her friend's arms are warm and it occurs to her that she isn't been hugged in a long time. At least a year. Dave didn't even hug her when they had their talk, though she supposes that had more to do with him than it does her.

She holds the hug for a few seconds longer than she probably should, and before she lets go, Kanaya whispers in her ear.

Kanaya: Don't Be Afraid To Talk About Whatever Is Bothering You Tonight  
Kanaya: Trust Me She's Half Expecting It

June: thanks for the tough love, kanaya

June pulls away to see Rose's tall form wrapped in an evening gown speckled with stars and dyed the same dark purple color as her eyes. She turns the corner from the hallway and grins when she sees June.

Rose: John!  
Rose: Lovely! I thought I heard voices. For the briefest of moments, I was worried that it was the horrorterrors come back to haunt me. Oh, you look positively radiant. Lustrous.

June: so do you! you're all sparkly. like a big purple disco ball. 

Rose: I was going more for a summer night sky, but I'll take the compliment all the same. What are you two chatting about in here?

She puts her hands on her hips, both of them covered by a checkered oven mitt. Her face is touched by her trademark smirk, but there's a hint of worry behind her eyes. She knows exactly what they were talking about. 

Kanaya opens her mouth to answer, but June cuts in. She wants to take her friend's advice. And she will. She's come specifically to talk about her whole new identity. But on her own time. 

June: just catching up! mother grub things. lazy stayabout things. you know, shop talk.

Rose: I see. Well, don't let the conversation die on my account. But please, do join me in the kitchen. Cooking is both lonely business and also something that I'm still getting used to, if I'm being honest. It isn't quite the same as alchemy. Or distillery.

June: is it fun? that's the important part, obviously.

Rose: I suppose so. As are most things, it's more fun together.

June and Kanaya fall into step behind Rose as she turns and leads them down the hallway to their modest but well kept kitchen. Kanaya's hand finds Rose's, despite the padding of the oven mitt, and the sight of it sends June's stomach into a flip. She wishes she had been around more often to see more of them being adorable, but she knows it would have been hell seeing two women so in love, so happy together, and so honest about who they are.

Rose: I hope you're in the mood for Alternian.

The three of them enter the kitchen to find it filled with steam and the heavy scent of whatever is simmering on the stove. 

June: you know, i have been hanging out with trolls or living on a planet with them for ten years and i don't think i've tried troll food even once  
June: except maybe some ice cream that dave bought me but neither of us know if that was bugs or chocolate chips in it so that might just have been human food

Kanaya pulls a chair out from their kitchen table for her to sit, while Rose takes her vigil at the stove-top, using a wooden spoon to stir up her concoction. She takes a bite of it with a little smile and then gives a taste to Kanaya, as well. 

Kanaya: You're In For A Treat  
Kanaya: Rose Has Made An Alternian Delicacy

Rose: It's really more Terran-Alternian Fusion. The original recipe was, to put this as delicately as possible for the sake of my lovely wife -- unpalatable.

Kanaya: To Humans Maybe  
Kanaya: It's Delicious

Rose: I have used my refined culinary skill and honed taste for all things troll-

She cuts a glance at Kanaya as the troll takes a seat beside June and tries to hide a bit of green flush in her cheeks by setting her face in her hands. Rose continues, waving the spoon absentmindedly as she speaks.

Rose: - to design and bring forth into existence a dish combining both what traits appeal to the troll sensibilities as well as what can be reasonably expected to be put inside the human mouth. 

Kanaya: She Has Put Curry Sauce On Grubsteak

Rose: I have, indeed, put curry sauce on grubsteak, as my wife so eloquently points out. And it is fucking delectable.

June: if it tastes as good as it smells i'm sure it will be amazing

Rose sets the spoon down on its rest and leans her hip on the counter, facing the two sitting at the table. She crosses her arms over her chest and sighs.

Rose: So.  
Rose: What's going on in the ever esoteric world of John Egbert?

She hasn't heard her own name in weeks before tonight, not since she came out to Dave. Aside from Rose asking her to dinner, Dave's really the only person she's talked to at all since they had their talk, texting him occasionally. And so far he hasn't messed up once. For all she knows, he actually has, and is just editing his messages meticulously before sending them, but she's been ignoring that possibility. 

She digs her fingernails into her palm in an effort to keep herself under control. She wants so desperately to correct Rose. To take this in stride, just like everything else she does. To let this secret fly from her and be taken up into the arms of two of her closest friends. But it isn't time. She isn't ready. 

"Let them settle in," she thinks. "Slip it into conversation casually."

June: life has been kind of crazy boring, if i'm being honest. the last actually exciting thing that happened was your wedding.  
June: even birthdays are starting to get pretty boring

Rose: Your birthday party the other week was as fun as they ever are. Though, I suppose the credit for that goes to our pseudo-corporeally canine friend. At least, more so than anything inherently enjoyable about the societal concept of birthdays.

Kanaya: The Stunt Where She Made The Hive Very Small To Have A Human Alice In Wonderland Tea Party Was Truly Inspired

June: yeah but... i don't know. even that was not really that fun.

Rose turns back to finishing her cooking and begins piling the steaming, golden steaks onto plates. She sets them down in front of June and Kanaya. She gives June a quizzical look as Kanaya gets up and fetches a glass of wine for herself and June, and glasses of water for all three of them. 

Rose: John.  
Rose: Have you been feeling disconnected, lately? Distant? How is your connection to your sense of self? Do you ever feel as if you, your emotions, or your physical environment are somehow less than real?

She sits down, placing a napkin across her lap with little care in a gesture that must be more for Kanaya's benefit - to ensure the dress she's wearing remains unstained - than due to any cleanliness on Rose's part. She doesn't take her narrowed, inquisitive eyes off of June. 

Kanaya does the same with her napkin, much more gingerly, and begins to dig into her meal. June does not touch her napkin, nor the food sitting in front of her. 

June: thank you for the attempted diagnosis, armchair dr phil  
June: but yes all of that is true. i've been distant from you guys as much as from myself cause of all of that  
June: sorry by the way...

She glances to Kanaya for approval on her apology, but if Kanaya noticed, she doesn't say anything about it. Nor does her expression change in the slightest. Damn that troll and her impeccable poker face. 

June takes a sip of water. Her hand shakes and the ice in her glass clinks against the walls of its cage. 

Rose: John, your hand is shivering. 

Her eyes dart from the glass, to June, and back to the glass. Her curious look breaks into one purely of concern. She reaches across the table and takes the glass before June can spill anything or drop it. Her hand brushes June's as she does. 

Rose: And cold. And your breathing is laborious. Tell me, John, is your heart rate elevated? How is your vision? Are you experiencing a bout of nausea? If you're having any sort of anxiety over these symptoms you've been feeling, please rest assured you can tell us.

Kanaya: I'm Sure That Any Nausea He's Feeling Is A Result Of This Impromptu Diagnosis  
Kanaya: Breathe John  
Kanaya: Do You Need Some Fresh Air

June: that sounds perfect actually

Kanaya: The Door To The Balcony Is There

Kanaya gestures to the sliding door beside the fridge and her own poker face cracks just a little into care and concern to match her wife's. She stands and helps June pull out her seat. 

June: thanks. i'll be back in a few

Rose stands to walk with her.

Rose: What's-

Kanaya: Hush.

Kanaya puts her hand over her wife's and gives her a look that says they need to give June some space. Rose sits back down with a sigh. June says nothing and slips out into the cold night air of Earth C. 

She leans against the balcony railing, surrounded by the chill of the evening that does nothing to ease her shivering. She folds her hands and looks down to the streets below, stories beneath her feet. Trolls mill about the city, living their lives. Enjoying their time and doing with it whatever they please, Totally and completely free. 

The part of her that wants to run rears its head. It pecks away at her thoughts. It tells her she should leave. She's a god. She has the whole world -- the whole universe -- right there in front of her. She knows who she is, she can go be herself on some planet somewhere, and she'll never have to tell anyone else or say anything aloud again. She can revel in her own identity, belonging only to her, that she lets free all around her. Out on her own, where the fear of someone else finding out can't touch her. 

She lifts her feet off of the balcony and hovers for a moment, toying with the idea. 

The wind blows her hair around her face and the way it whips is viscerally satisfying. It never did that before she started growing it out. She floats another few inches from the ground and grips the railing tight, preparing to push off and away into the deep, dark skies of an unexplored universe. 

She's only stopped by the scrape of screen door behind her as it slides open and shut. 

Rose: John, you should maybe take a deep breath and calm down before that windy thing of yours blows one of our plants onto the unsuspecting head of some poor troll on the street. I'm sure that manslaughter -- or trollslaughter, as it were -- isn't on your to-do list for the evening.  
Rose: Speaking of, I doubt that standing on our balcony and avoiding conversation is on that list either. But do feel free to continue that one, if only you spare the life of my poor, unsuspecting succulents.

June sets back down on the balcony with a shiver and a sigh. She hadn't noticed, but Rose is right. The breeze blowing all around her is rattling several of the terracotta pots sitting on the edge of the balcony, teetering and threatening to tip over. She takes a deep breath and holds it, trying to squash down her emotions and calm the agitated winds. It works, and both the plants as well as her hands gripping the railing slowly stop shaking. 

Rose: Thank you. 

Rose leans on the railing beside her with one elbow. Starlight glitters off of her dress and the purple headband she wears looks black in the dark of the night. She's beautiful. She always has been, and that sparks a pang of jealousy in June that she didn't let herself recognize before. 

Rose: Now, it goes without saying that you don't have to answer my next query if you don't want to. But considering you've been acting oddly and have now admitted to feelings of depression, social disconnection, and isolation...  
Rose: Do you feel like telling an old friend, rather than a wannabe psychologist, just what's going on? If anything?

This isn't how she wanted this to go. Any of this. With Dave, with Rose, with anyone. Why does she even have to say it at all? Why can't they just know? Why can't they have always known?

She bites her lip while Rose stares at her, waiting for any kind of response. She swallows her pride and remembers telling Dave. She wants them to know. She needs them to know.

June: that is kind of exactly why i came here tonight actually

Rose: Oh? It wasn't for our darling company?

June: well that too!!! i miss you guys. a lot. but there are things that you just don't know you know?  
June: stuff that i did not even know that i knew. and that's made it kind of hard to see you guys  
June: without you knowing i mean

Rose: I see. What's that ridiculous old Earth rhyme? Secrets, secrets hurt someone, blah blah blah.  
Rose: Jejune. 

June: well this has been less of a secret from other people on purpose and more a "i need time to figure this out and i didn't even know about it" kind of thing  
June: and to be honest i am not sure that i am done figuring it out  
June: but like i said, i miss you guys, so i guess i've gotta tell you so that things won't keep being weird and stuff....  
June: bleh........

Rose reaches out and puts her hand on June's shoulder. Her arm is locked tight, like she isn't used to this, and June knows that she isn't. She tries to frown a little too hard to be believable as anything more than the natural, wistful frown that sometimes shows itself on her face. She rubs her hand down June's arm in an attempt to reassure her. 

Rose: Whatever it is, you can tell me. You clearly want to, or you wouldn't have told me this much. If it needs to stay a secret from anyone else, even from Kanaya, I won't tell a soul. 

Her fingers give June's upper arm a firm squeeze that's just slightly too hard to really be of comfort. Rose might not be good at the whole reassurance thing, but June knows her well enough to know that she's being sincere and honest. She's safe to tell. Of course she is. She's Rose. 

But she can't bring herself to say it. 

With Dave, it had just spilled out. It was so easy that she hadn't even meant to. 

June: i... uh....

But Dave is so different from her. He's a dude. He's bi. He's a blend of tangential queerness, identities on the outside of her own. Just far enough from her that she can separate any connection she feels with him from the conversation and just make it about a friend talking to a friend.

But Rose isn't. Any conversation with her will be a lesbian talking to a lesbian, a woman to a woman. She might not be trans, but she's just as gay as June is, and June has spent the last few weeks realizing that she looks up to her in that regard. Dave isn't an elder gay for her, but in a way, Rose is. And the thought of disappointing her somehow digs a little nest for itself in the pit of her stomach when she thinks about it. 

June: i can't....  
June: i-

Rose: Would you like me to say it?

June: i... what??

Rose: You seem to be struggling and having trouble saying it out loud. I'd be happy to say it for you, if it facilitates the flow of this conversation. 

Rose's face is placid and serene. She must be struggling to keep herself calm enough to keep June calm.

She doesn't quite know what Rose means, but she's mortified by the experience enough to let her take the lead. 

June: um. sure. okay.

Rose: You're transgender.

June shrugs Rose's hand off of her shoulder and releases her grip on the railing. She turns and leans her back against it, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. She squints at Rose and hopes that it hides the blushing in her cheeks. It doesn't.

June: how do you know?

Rose: It's a long story. Dave and I were talking -- don't worry, he didn't tell me -- and the ever intriguing subject of John Egbert came up. To cut to the chase, I asked how you were, he got sort of awkward and began to stumble over his words like a bumbling fool... The way that he does when he's upset, you know. Between your recent distance, his fumbling at your mention, seeing your hair grown out like that at your birthday, and my own intuition...  
Rose: I put two and two together and made trans.

Rose glances inside through the window to see Kanaya still seated at the table waiting for them, palmhusk in hand and dinner in the same state it was in when they went outside. She's trying to hide that she's glancing at them with a side-eye and failing horribly. 

Rose waves at her to indicate that she isn't being stealthy whatsoever and Kanaya replies by rising to her feet and closing the blinds with a roll of her eyes. Rose gives a shout to be heard through the glass.

Rose: Thank you, love!  
Rose: She didn't want me to come out here with you. I think she was hoping you would fly home and come back when you were more comfortable. She thinks it would be better for you.

That same flighty side of her is still feeling a flutter and telling her to take off. It wants her to squash down everything they've just said and take Kanaya's unspoken advice. But the part of her that is tired of all of the anxiety, and waiting, and wondering, just wants to tear itself out of her then and there. 

There is a beat of silence between them. Neither truly knows what to say and Rose has expended her repertoire of physical affirmations. June pulls her hands into the sleeves of her sweater and tugs at the loose thread that has become a constant source of nervous comfort. 

She breaks the cold and silence the only way she can think to. 

June: i changed my name  
June: it's june now.

Rose looks down at the concrete of the balcony beneath her feet to disguise the delighted smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. 

Rose: That's a lovely choice.  
Rose: It rings dainty, but with a lilt and a bit of a bite. It suits you.

June can't help but smile, too, just a bit. She rocks on the heels of her sneakers, letting the railing take her full weight, and looks down at her own shoes.

Rose: I'm glad that you've decided to tell me. 

June: well you told me, really he he.

June's laugh bubbles up from her very center, a little sonata of joy and relief floating out of her and into the night. Rose joins her, her own laugh the soft and quiet chitter of a morning bird ringing in the dawn. 

Their eyes meet and Rose tries one more time to reach out. She takes June's hand in hers and lets their joined arms hang between them. 

Rose: We've had quite a number of, shall we say, interesting adventures. We haven't really experienced a shortage of deathly escapades or nerve wracking undertakings.  
Rose: Shit's scary.  
Rose: I guess what I mean to say is, thank you for taking me with you on this one.

June: it took me some time to work up the courage but i'm glad i came tonight.  
June: are there any deep dark secrets you are longing to get off of your chest?  
June: you know, just to keep things even.

Rose puts a finger on her chin in false contemplation and gives a little hum as if she's thinking. 

Rose: Well, if you must know, Kanaya and I are no longer wed. This is all an elaborate ruse. Chicanery to uphold a sense of normalcy. We are profoundly unhappy. Also the sky is not blue, I secretly hate wizards... I never really had a drinking problem, that was all fake as shit.  
Rose: Oh, and Dave is an exquisite rapper. 

June: haha okay  
June: those first few were not believable in any way  
June: but you just gave up with the last one  
June: and in some places the sky isn't blue. this new sun does some weird stuff in what i think used to be arizona. 

Rose: Well, what can I say, I tried my best to play along.  
Rose: In all seriousness, thank you, June. 

Her name rolls off of Rose's tongue with ease and warms her like they've both sat down by a fireplace on a cold night just like this one. It brings back memories of when they first started talking all those years ago when they were just a couple of isolated, lonely teenagers. When just seeing Rose's chat handle popping up on her computer screen would give her butterflies and fill her up with that same warmth. 

She never did get a chance to tell Rose about the crush she was harboring for her back then. And now that she's happily married, she doesn't see the point or think there would be an appropriate time to bring it up. But nonetheless, it feels incredible to hear someone she's cared about so deeply for so long say her name. Her real name. 

Rose: Now, what say we journey back inside with my lovely wife, have a meal together, and -- if you want to -- fill her in on this development?  
Rose: Our food is likely cold by now, but to be completely frank with you, I don't like it that much anyway. It's just all that Kanaya will eat these days that isn't blood, and it isn't the most pleasant experience to have her sucking down a bag of the stuff while I eat my meatloaf.  
Rose: So. 

June: that sounds nice. it is not birthday cake or troll ice cream so i think i'll enjoy it. it will be a change of pace anyway.  
June: and yeah let's fill her in. it will be a million times easier with you there, knowing already and all.

Rose lets go of June and claps her hands together.

Rose: Excellent! Onward, then, to the best flavor I could wrench from what is literally a giant bug.

June waits for a moment as Rose turns to head inside. She stops her, touching her elbow with a gentle hand as she reaches out to open the door.

June: hey  
June: before we go in i wanna make sure you know  
June: i really am sorry. i know you guys weren't like entitled to me telling you what was going on or anything like that but...  
June: i could have told you that SOMEthing was up. or at least i could have been around more. it was not fair for me to abandon you like that. 

Rose's eyes are as deep and dark as the night sky surrounding them, the moon and stars shining in them, and the light of the sun behind them and beaming out of her. 

Rose: You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. But I appreciate the gesture. And that it matters to you that you say something. Come on.

She slides open the door, pulls back the blinds, and steps inside to rejoin Kanaya. June waits a moment to see if her desire to flee has passed and sure enough she finds that it, itself, has fled. 

She takes one last breath of cold night air and follows her friend inside, taking her seat next to Kanaya and smiling an enormous and suddenly unburdened grin at her. 

Kanaya: Are You Alright Now John  
Kanaya: Is Your Head Sufficiently Clear And Your Stomach Sufficiently Ravenous

June: uh...

Rose raises her eyebrows at her and flashes the most encouraging smile she can muster. It wouldn't be much to anyone who didn't know her, forced and pulled tight across her face, but it prods June further. She nods toward Kanaya as if to say, "go on."

June: actually, kanaya, it's not john anymore

Kanaya: Oh

Kanaya's own eyebrows raise in surprise and she sets the bite of grubsteak she was raising to her lips back down on her plate. 

June: it is june.

Kanaya: June  
Kanaya: Oh My  
Kanaya: Well

Rose takes Kanaya's hand and shakes it excitedly. She speaks rapidly, as if she's been waiting to say the next sentence out of her mouth for months. 

Rose: I was right. She's a girl. 

Kanaya: I See  
Kanaya: Congratulations

Kanaya's voice is hesitant and she is clearly uncertain of how to respond. 

Kanaya: That Does Account For Your Behavior  
Kanaya: I'm Happy For You

Though she still stumbles over her words, she definitely means them. 

June: thanks!  
June: this is all pretty new to me so i'm still figuring a lot of things out. and trying to find the right time to let people know. and the right way.

Kanaya: I Understand  
Kanaya: You Humans Have Certain Hangups About This Sort Of Thing  
Kanaya: We Trolls Do Not  
Kanaya: It Is Easy For Me To Forget Please Forgive My Awkwardness  
Kanaya: Now Given The Aforementioned Hangups Should I  
Kanaya: Keep This On The Down And Low

June: i would appreciate that. i will let you know when it's safe to just mention it to anyone.  
June: oh but dave is aware

Kanaya: I Will Put Dave Under The Column Labeled Safe To Talk To About You Being A Girl  
Kanaya: And All Others Under The One Labeled Not Under Any Circumstances Should I Tell Them Except For When She Tells Me That I Can

June: ha ha i appreciate it

Kanaya: The Appreciation Is All Mine

The rest of their meal -- and over top of it, their conversation -- continues with the clarity that only comes from open honesty among friends and an air purified of the fog caused by words unsaid. Kanaya stumbles over a few questions, June cracks a joke in reply. Rose bounces off of June's joke to make one of her own. Three women, alone with each other and with the bond that they share. 

Rose brings out desert when the meal is done. A cake she baked herself which June politely refuses but Kanaya insists on having multiple pieces of. June accepts another glass of wine in its stead. After three more glasses, they migrate from the kitchen table to sit around the living room, and Rose brings out a troll board game that June doesn't fully understand. The game is quickly discarded, half played, and is shoved into the corner, a pile of tokens and cards on the carpet. While June is shoving all of the pieces to the side, Rose launches into a long-winded story that Kanaya is enraptured by and that June only half hears.

The story is interrupted by a text tone in June's pocket. Rose pauses for a moment, and then continues as June pulls out her phone and checks her messages. 

She taps the new message notification and is greeted by the contact picture of a tongue sliding across the camera. A name she hasn't read in months sits beneath it. 

Terezi: H3Y JOHN  
Terezi: TH1S WHOL3 TH1NG 1S STUP1D  
Terezi: 4ND 1 M1SS YOU TOO  
Terezi: S33 YOU SOON  
Terezi: N3RD.  
Terezi: 1 M34N 1'M COM1NG TO 34RTH C 1F TH4T W4SN'T CL34R  
Terezi: N3RD. >:P

June doesn't hear more of Rose's story. She stares down at the message and reads it over and over again. It absolutely cannot mean what she thinks it means. 

It's been years. She hasn't seen Terezi at all, and as nice as their occasional messages have been, she hasn't been holding out any hope that she would see her again in person. 

The haze of her drink makes it hard for her to think about what it means. Without turning her listless attention from her phone, she speaks up to Rose and Kanaya for help. 

June: terzi

Rose's story must have finished ages ago, as she and Kanaya have taken to staring into each other's eyes across a game of cards that neither of them is really playing. When June speaks up, Rose tears her gaze away from Kanaya's face and cocks an eyebrow at her. 

Rose: I'm sorry?

June: terzi  
June: sorry  
June: terzezi.

Rose: What about her?

June: she texted me jus now

Kanaya: Hm  
Kanaya: Does She Regularly Speak With You  
Kanaya: She Hasn't Responded To My Last Message And That Was A Sweep Ago

Kanaya's voice is slowed by the alcohol in her, but she is still as calm and composed as ever. 

June: sometimes, but mosely i text her  
June: this is diffrent. i don not think it is a joke.

Rose: You don't think what is a joke?

June: she is coming

Kanaya: Oh My  
Kanaya: Have You And She Been Sharing An Intimate Text Based Relationship  
Kanaya: That Would Be A Turn Of Events

Rose raises a fist without turning her attention away from June. Kanaya bumps it with her own, drunkenly missing once and hitting it dead-on with her second try. 

Rose: Do you mean that she's coming to Earth C?

June: mhmmm

June nods her head slowly and with a little bit of dizzy difficulty. Rose doesn't keep enough alcohol in the house for her to really feel it, but June has always been a bit of a lightweight and just the few glasses that she's had have hit her harder than the same amount has affected Kanaya. 

Rose: Oh, well that is indeed a turn of events. Will she be bringing Vriska along with her?  
Rose: It would be nice to knock out two seeing-old-friends birds with one stone.

June throws herself face down on the floor, and her phone bounces out of her hand and under their couch. Kanaya fishes it out and gently presses it back into her open palm flopped at her side. June speaks into the carpet, and between the slurring of her speech and the fact that she is literally talking directly into the carpet, Rose and Kanaya struggle to make out what she's saying.

June: if she comes with vrisiska i will actually fly to space an live there forever an ever  
June: where i would not have to see verska or her dumb face or either of them troll kissing

Kanaya: You Can Just Say Kissing

June turns her head without getting up from the floor to look at the two of them and pouts.

Rose: All of us have had our problems with Vriska, June, regardless of the things she's done for us. But even for someone who dislikes her as much as you do, that reaction might come across a touch extreme.  
Rose: And it does beg a question or two.  
Rose: Namely - 

A wry smirk touches her lips and she gives June a knowing look. She reaches over to fix June's glasses, which have skewed from her smacking them face first into the ground. 

Rose: Dave and I aren't the only ones in love with a troll, now are we?


	4. Chapter 4

Terezi was worried when she first crossed the threshold into the universe she helped bring into being. Worried that she had made the wrong choice, or given up too soon. That she wouldn't even be able to find Earth C in this vast, cosmic amphibian. Or that she would die trying, like she already almost had. 

She's quickly discovered that, while her fears were not unfounded, in this universe teeming with new life there are more than enough answers to her questions to assuage her worries. She stumbled upon a troll starship not far from the entrance to the universe. Abandoned, creaking, and decrepit, but with enough rations to keep her from starving to death and with a rotted out recuperacoon bunk that was far better for a day of rest than the nothing she'd had for a sweep. When her sylladex was full of dried grubloaf squares and canteens of stale water -- and more importantly, her head was clear from rest -- she had taken off again in the direction she hoped was leading her to Earth C. 

That she knows is leading her there. 

Her gut is guiding her in a straight line. She doesn't know if it's her powers as a seer or just her penchant for intuition, and the way she figures it, it doesn't matter. She's closer to Earth C than she ever was to finding Vriska. She can practically taste it. Every planet she passes and gets a good whiff of smells more and more familiar. Faint traces of the friends who helped to shape what these planets would be. 

She's sitting on the edge of an asteroid's crater, taking a break from her flight in a way she never felt she could when she was still searching for her, when she gets a text. She's had her palmhusk open, flipping through all of John's old messages, wondering what she'll do when she sees him. How he'll react. Why he hasn't replied. 

When the tone sounds -- a clip of her own laugh she recorded sweeps ago, before they even started playing Sgrub -- her pump skips a beat in the hope that she'll taste his name. But the beautiful hint of blueberry does not greet her taste buds, and instead she is greeted by a deep, savory flavor, all earthy and rich. Like a vegetable. She sputters to clear her mouth of the unexpected sensation before reading the message.

Kanaya: It'll Be Good To See You Tez  
Kanaya: Rose And I Are Eagerly Awaiting You Arrival  
Kanaya: We Miss You  
Kanaya: Look Us Up When You Get Here

She sighs. So he got her message, and he even told other people that she's coming, but couldn't be bothered to send a single message back to her. Maybe she is making a mistake, after all. 

Her palmhusk hangs in her hand, her wrist limp and dangling over a bony knee. For a second, and only a single second, the thought crosses her mind to turn around. She flips back to John's messages and is taken aback when a single tear falls onto the screen and blurs his words. She licks it off and the salt of it mingles with the sweet color of his name. 

She lifts her glasses, wipes her eyes, and sniffs deeply, choking back more tears. She stands to her feet on the edge of the crater and the tips of her shoes stick over the edge, pulling her forward and making her lean back to catch herself. With a single choice, she could go plummeting into it and forget everything. Vriska. John. Everything that she remem8ers. 

She looks above her and knows that the distant spot in the blackness of everything that she can't even truly see is the direction of her destination. She opens up Kanaya's texts again and types out a reply.

Terezi: H3Y K4N 1T'LL B3 GOOD TO S33 YOU TOO  
Terezi: 1 T4K3 1T JOHN TOLD YOU GUYS TH4T 1'M COM1NG

She waits a moment for a reply. If there's one thing that Kanaya has never done, it's leave her hanging. Sure enough, her palmhusk chimes again in just a few seconds.

Kanaya: Uh  
Kanaya: Yes That's Right  
Kanaya: He  
Kanaya: Did

The wording of her texts rings suspicious. Kanaya never breaks up a sentence in quite that way. She chalks it up to the nerves of talking to a friend again after what must be quite a lot longer from her perspective than Terezi's.

Terezi: W3LL 1'M GL4D H3 D1D  
Terezi: 1 H34R TH4T YOU M4RR13D ROS3  
Terezi: SORRY 1 FORGOT TO S3ND MY CONGR4TUL4T1ONS  
Terezi: TH3 P1CTUR3S JOHN S3NT M3 W3R3 SO FUCK1NG CUT3 1 4LMOST THR3W UP  
Terezi: 1 C4N'T W41T TO T34S3 TH3 SH1T OUT OF YOU TWO OO3Y GOO3Y LOV3B1RDS >:] 

Kanaya: Yes Well  
Kanaya: We Await This Teasing With Bated Breath  
Kanaya: Your Sudden Return Does Invite Curiosity  
Kanaya: Did You Find Her

Terezi stares at her palmhusk. She can't lie. There would be no point. But something about telling Kanaya the truth stabs her right through the stomach. 

She almost ignores it. Almost kicks off again without a word, ready to explain it in person, but to let it free from her mind for now. Before she can, another thought crosses her mind. Of John. She's reminded just how upset she is that he hasn't replied to her. 

Terezi: NO  
Terezi: 1F SH3 W4NTS TO COM3 HOM3 SH3 W1LL

Terezi does kick off, now, and shoots through the black of space toward the planet her friends call home. She gets one last text from Kanaya, and this time she really can't bring herself to reply. 

Kanaya: :(

She wipes more tears from her eyes as they well up. She's about to put her palmhusk away when the canned sound of her own laughter rings out from it again. She looks at who it is and is met with the scent of the purest, deepest blue. 

June: ah! i can't wait to see you!!!!!!!!  
June: i just saw those messages i sent you the other week.  
June: or i guess maybe month, for you. or perigee?? i still do not really know how your whole calendar works  
June: sorry about that. the messages, not the lack of calendar know how  
June: but drunk me wasn't wrong! i do seem to miss whoever this treziz person is quite a bit  
June: we have so much to catch up on!!

She lets the tears fall now, and she leaves a trail of teal that burns up and evaporates away into the void of the universe in the heat of her rocket pack. She sets her sights on home.


	5. Chapter 5

Dave tries his best to match June's pace as they make their way to the kingdom where Roxy and Calliope have made their home -- a land filled with the former citizens of two warring kingdoms, now peaceful in the paradise of Earth C. They're both flying through the bright blue skies over what he's pretty sure used to be Romania. Or Switzerland? Geography was never his strong suit. 

His normal breakneck speed focused more on where he's going than how he's getting there is pulled back to a crawl by her lilting meander as she takes her time. And his. She stops to look at the landscape for irritating amounts of time and tries her best to get Dave to stop with her. Which he does, of course. He even admits to her that it's kind of nice. Because honestly, it really, really is. And her company makes it all the better. 

She's so open, now. Nor more balking when he brings up queer things, no more awkward machismo or comments about "manning up" and "making her dad proud." She's so wholly and completely comfortable, so much herself, that it brings a smile to his face just to watch her sitting by a lake in the mountains, entirely at ease. 

She's stretched out on a hill she found after searching for just the right one for over an hour, staring across the surface of the water and following a swan gliding across its surface lazily. The wind sweeping through the hills blows her hair just as lazily, brushing it across her shoulder like a paintbrush on canvas. She tucks a lock of it behind her ear. 

Dave: you just about ready to go girl  
Dave: i know i dont need to remind you but rox and callie are in fact waiting on our timely arrival

June: just another minute...  
June: it's been so long since i've gotten to enjoy anything like this. 

Dave: alright  
Dave: but if either of them chew us out about this i am shifting the blame to you  
Dave: just fair warning

Dave lies back against the warm blanket of grass and puts his hands behind his head. She's going to be a while. 

He stares up at the clouds as they float by, as listless and serene as the girl sitting next to him. He watches her again, framed by the clouds, and remembers. He thinks back on everything they've been through, and who they are. On the crush he harbored for months before they played a game together that changed everything forever. 

She really is gorgeous. Whether he sees her as a guy or a girl, she still takes his breath away. A part of him almost wishes that he had told her that way back then. Maybe he would have, if he had known. Maybe it would have made it easier. 

Not that he wants to be with her now. He's perfectly happy with Karkat and he wouldn't want his life any other way. But just to have had a chance to experience her, even if it was only for a fleeting moment... He would have liked that. 

June: so terezi is coming back.

June's voice pulls him out of the past and back into the moment, beside her on the hill. He leans up on his elbows. He imagines that while he's been sitting there, wrapped up in her, she's been thinking the same kind of thing about their absent mutual friend. 

Dave: yeah rose told me  
Dave: are you excited  
Dave: cause im fucking excited

June: it feels weird.  
June: i mean, i miss her. we all do. you and karkat especially, i am sure...  
June: but everything is so different now! i'm a girl, the two of you are dating....  
June: i just hope things can be..... i don't know...  
June: like they were. or maybe better??  
June: things were kind of weird i guess.

Dave: only way to find out is to wait  
Dave: things might be weird but fuck it you know  
Dave: if there's one thing the last ten years of our life have taught me its that shits just weird sometimes  
Dave: theres only so many dead daves you can stumble upon before you learn that lesson and get the fuck over it

June: i guess you are right........

She doesn't say anything else and Dave doesn't press her, hoping his words will sink in. Minutes pass, and the whistle of the wind is the only sound surrounding them. Just when he's almost slipped away again into his thoughts, June cocks her head to the side and points across the lake. 

June: where did that swan come from?

Dave raises an eyebrow at her, pulls his sunglasses down, and looks over them. 

Dave: the hell are you on about egbert

June: the meteors killed all life on earth, yeah? at least everything the condesce didn't drown that wasn't roxy, dirk, or a carapacian.  
June: so where did that swan come from??? was there just a lonely swan out there on the waters that somehow lived for hundreds of years?  
June: or like  
June: some kind of swan jurassic park. just an island chock full of swans waiting to be discovered by some intrepid troll dinosaur scientist.

Dave: paleontologist  
Dave: and i dunno june maybe we wont ever have an answer  
Dave: im pretty sure it was lauded human dinosaur scientist jeff goldblum who said  
Dave: life uh  
Dave: finds a way

June laughs and looks over at him. Her eyes crinkle up and her mouth hangs open wide, showing all of her teeth and opening the floodgates for the roll of giddiness that tumbles out. It's always been a beautiful laugh, but now it's even more so. More natural. 

More her. 

June: man i have not seen that one in so long  
June: we should watch it sometime. with karkat! i'm sure he would get a kick out of it.

Dave: oof thats not a good idea  
Dave: unless you want to hear a loud rambling lecture on frog genetics

June: good point.  
June: he and jade got into an argument about that last christmas and i did not think they would ever shut up.

Dave kicks himself to his feet and floats over in front of his friend. 

Dave: and that was with everybody else around to distract them  
Dave: imagine if it was just him  
Dave: or worse both of them  
Dave: in a confined space

June: i will pass, i think.

She laughs again, and Dave sticks a hand out to her to help her up. 

Dave: i dont blame you  
Dave: now as much as you know i love talking about my boyfriend i think we need to get a move on  
Dave: weve kept them waiting long enough  
Dave: callie is kinda like my step parent now so im kinda developing a thing about disappointing them

June looks up at him, a mischievous gleam in her eyes and snatches his hand. 

June: well if you are in such a rush...

She pulls herself up with his arm and uses it as a springboard to kick herself into the air above him. She's wearing her godhood, and the long tail of it trails behind her and smacks him in the face. 

June: let's have some fun!  
June: i will race you there!  
June: ladies first!!!

She takes off into the sky, leaving Dave standing in stunned silence for a second while he tries to get his bearings. 

Dave: oh  
Dave: oh hell no

Dave flies off after her and shouts ahead at the quickly shrinking form of his best friend. 

Dave: dont be a fucking cheater june

She looks back over her shoulder, and he swears he can see the same prankster's twinkle in her eye from all the way behind her. It's nice to see that again. He hasn't seen her so happy in all of the time they've been in this universe. 

June: it is not cheating!  
June: you don't have to play!

Dave: like hell i dont

He puts his all into trying to catch up to her and the whole rest of their flight, she's tantalizingly out of reach. Once, he almost catches up to her. He even gets a hand on her sneaker. But she slips out of his fingers, sticks her tongue out over her shoulder, and zooms off again ahead of him. 

When he makes it to the steps of Roxy and Callie's palace, June is waiting for him, sitting on the railing of the ornate steps up to the front door and kicking her legs over the side. 

June: i win.  
June: and i don't even have cool time powers i could have used to just skip ahead to the finish line.

She winks and he kicks himself for not even thinking of that. 

Dave: yeah yeah  
Dave: dont get a big head over it  
Dave: youre already cute as a button and good at everything god forbid you get an ego to boot

June: if i develop an ego we are all doomed.  
June: it will be vriska's ancestor all over again.

Dave doesn't quite understand what she means, but he's learned to stop questioning her vague, cryptic statements about the past. Who even is Vriska's ancestor, the spooky spider librarian? 

Sometimes he has to remind himself that this isn't the June that he grew up with, and this is one of those times. 

Dave: yeah we wouldnt want that  
Dave: so are we gonna knock or are we gonna keep chatting it up like a couple of chucklefucks

June: yeah could uh...  
June: could you do it..?

She had warned him before they left that she would probably be nervous, so the question does not come as a surprise. 

Dave: i got you girl

Dave lifts a hand to grab the door knocker, shaped like a much more ornate and gilded version of Calliope's bow tie. Before he can, a sound like a cat dying rings out to their left and a steak of white crashes into his chest. He fumbles to catch whatever it is and finds himself holding a cat that is definitely not dying and is very much alive. The hunk of meat that it's dropped from its mouth and is now draped over Dave's shoulder, however, is not. 

Roxy: get BACK here!!!

Roxy and Callie come running up the garden path that leads to the base of the stairs. Both of them look out of breath as if they've been chasing this cat for a while. When they see Dave and June they come to a stop at the base of the stairs and both of their moods instantly perk up. 

Roxy: aw hey guys!  
Roxy: thanks for catching the little jerk. he stole callie's lunch and has had us runnin around like a couple of doofuses

Calliope: Oh, yes, thank yoU, Dave!

Roxy takes the cut of meat off of Dave's shoulder with a delicate hand and a wink, then tosses it to Calliope who catches it in their little green claws and tears into it with aplomb. They don't seem to care that Dave or June is watching them as they spew bits of meat everywhere and scarf it down. Roxy is either so used to the messy affair that he doesn't notice, or he just doesn't care either. He adjusts the heart shaped sunglasses over his eyes, puts his hands on his hips, and smiles at them. 

Roxy: look at the little fella. he likes yoooou. 

The cat nuzzles into the crook of Dave's arm and mews gently. 

Dave: uh yeah i see that

Roxy: he's from a new batch of kittays i just whipped up in the labs lmao  
Roxy: i bet he's takin a likin to you because of your similarities to his good ole dad over here

Dave cuts a glance at Calliope as they scarf down the last of their meat. It always freaks him out to see them tear into their food like that but doesn't say anything about it. Best to let that sleeping, three-eyed mutant cat lie. 

Roxy: sorry if we kept you fellas waitin over here. we were tryin to wait for you to get here before we went for our picnic but...  
Roxy: uh  
Roxy: they get hells of hungry pretty dang quick tbh

Calliope: I am trUly, trUly sorry, friends... U.U

June: it's okay! we're not here for food, we are here for conversation. 

Dave: and scritches apparently

Dave scratches the cat right between its ears and it gives his wrist a little lick with its sandpaper tongue in return. 

Roxy: well alrighty then! come on in so we can conversate and scritch it up lol

Roxy takes the cat from Dave while Callie pushes open the doors to their palace with a grunt and a shove. They lead them into a foyer with gold and purple pillars holding up an arched roof far above their heads and a checkerboard marble floor beneath their feet. Roxy's boots fall hard on the marble and the sound echoes out around their heads. He sets the cat down on the ground and it scampers off into the depths of the palace. 

Roxy: follow me boys!  
Roxy: we just had a trampoline room put in and we've been dyin to try it out  
Roxy: all credit to my lovely partner on that idea btw

A little touch of green shines in the swirls on Calliope's cheeks as they blush at the sentiment. 

Calliope: What better way than with the help of some old friends?

As Roxy bounces off down one of the many hallways of the palace and Calliope waves at them to follow him, Dave elbows June's shoulder to get her attention. 

Dave: hey yo girl  
Dave: there have been quite a few fellas and guys and boys in this conversation as of yet  
Dave: are you gonna correct them

June: oh uh....  
June: not yet. i wanna wait for the right time.

Dave: waiting for the right time has meant multiple years of no one knowing but you  
Dave: and hes trans too  
Dave: im just saying this isnt like telling me and rose  
Dave: shoot your shot damn

The pair in front of them walk briskly and take all of the twists and turns of their palace hallways with ease. Without breaking their stride, Calliope looks over and calls back to Dave and June, who have fallen several paces behind them. 

Calliope: What are yoU two mUttering aboUt back there?

Roxy: yeah i thought you guys were here to talk to us.  
Roxy: get some quality rox and callie hang time in.  
Roxy: not a strider-egbert whisper sesh.

June: haha sorry!

June jogs to catch up to them and Roxy puts one elbow on her shoulder, slowing down a bit to better match her pace. Callie stands on his other side, their green claw wrapped around his fingers. Dave stays back a few paces and watches them walk, giving them the space for her to talk to them if she's ready. 

June: dave is uh  
June: afraid of trampolines  
June: he did not want to say anything

Calliope: YoU flew here.

Dave catches up to them, stepping in to try and save the situation before June makes a mess of it. He nervously ruffles the hair at the back of his head. He's taken aback by just how bad of a cover her lie was, but he figures he can't blame her. She's on the spot. 

Dave: shit yeah okay  
Dave: i uh know it sounds stupid as hell and yeah it kinda is  
Dave: its just something about the tarp and the up and the down and the just uh  
Dave: uh i dont know the lack of control

Calliope: Oh, well........... Hm. We can do something else, if yoU two woUld prefer. We are at no loss for entertainments aroUnd here!

Roxy gives him a look and lowers his eyelids in suspicion. He knows his ecto-son well enough by now to know when he's lying. Even if Dave was any good at telling a lie, Roxy would know. Dave grimaces in reply. 

Dave: nah its all good  
Dave: i can sit back and watch or fly around with yall  
Dave: still be an active conversational participant and all that shit

Roxy: sweet! tramps it is then.  
Roxy: speakin of... voila!

He throws open a huge door framed in yet more of the gold and purple tones favored by the people who built their palace in gratitude for the two giving them this planet in the first place. Inside is a room that is quite literally a trampoline room in that the entirety of the floor is one giant trampoline. 

Calliope: Last one in is a rotten egg!

Roxy: and trust us you don't wanna toss a rotten egg on this thing

They run into the room together and bound onto the tense surface of the floor. It springs both of them up into the air and they cackle with delight. 

Roxy: cmon in fellas the water is pretty frickin TASTY!

June flashes a nervous and apologetic smile at Dave, shrugs, and turns to start jumping with them. Before she takes her first leap, she mouths a silent "sorry" to Dave. He waves it off. 

Dave: sall good girl  
Dave: do your thing

He leans in the open doorway as June joins their friends in bouncing around the room. Their laughter fills up the space around them and rings in his ears just as much as the sprangs and sproings of the trampoline beneath their feet. He watches them for a while, and finds himself smiling at seeing them all so happy, not a hint of irony present. 

He's hung out with Roxy and Callie so many times over the years that they're a constant fixture in his life, but to see June with them too, some of the closest people to him together in one place and so elated, brings a tear to his eye. 

He hopes it isn't weird for her. He's known about her feelings for Roxy since she let it slip in a late night feelings jam shortly after they arrived on Earth C. She hasn't mentioned it since, but he's no stranger to lingering feelings and wonders if those same feelings are in her mind too as she flies up and down with the subject of those affections. 

They're talking now, and he's purposefully ignoring anything that they're saying. They came here for one reason, really, and if she needs help she'll let him know. He's perfectly happy to sit quietly with his thoughts until then. 

It isn't long before it happens. He only knows because there's a moment where both Roxy and Callie fall entirely silent. Roxy stops bouncing and his eyes go wide. Callie keeps bouncing a few feet away, but their eyes shine with delight. 

Roxy runs up and wraps his arms around June with a dcream of pure joy, as she stops bouncing, too. He spins her around in a hug and when he stops spinning, June is facing Dave. He flashes her a thumbs up which she returns with a grin. 

He ducks away from the doorway and into the hall, hoping to give them some space to be alone. He figures this is a trans conversation, and his input is not necessarily needed. He takes a short stroll down the hallway until he comes to a glass door that swings open out onto a patio overlooking their garden, with a gorgeous view of the mountain range behind them. He sets himself down on the patio steps that lead down to the maze of bushes and fountains, deciding to kill some time enjoying the fresh air. 

He takes a deep breath of the cold, mountain breeze and closes his eyes. He holds his face up toward the sun and lets it all wash over him. Sometimes, he almost misses the heat of his childhood home, and as the chill of the air sweeps over him, the sun touches him just as much and takes him back for a moment to a concrete rooftop ten years and a whole universe or two away from him. 

He's broken from his thoughts by a little purring coo. He opens his eyes, looks down at his feet, and sees the same cat from earlier looking up at him. It jumps up into his lap and pushes its head against his hand until he's forced to pet it.

Dave: hey little bro  
Dave: back for more  
Dave: hell yeah i am happy to provide

A text tone from his pocket makes him fish for his phone in his godhood with the hand not trying to pet an overenthusiastic mutant cat who takes a little bit too much after Roxy. When he manages to pull it out, he sees a new text notification. 

Terezi: OMG D4V3 1'V3 M1SS3D YOU SO MUCH  
Terezi: 1 C4N'T B3L1EV3 1'V3 FOUND YOU 4G41N 4FT3R 4LL TH1S T1ME

She sends him a picture of a snowman. A pair of off-kilter shades, a symbol of the aspect of time, and a shitty sord are all scribbled over it in Terezi's unmistakable style. 

Terezi: YOU'R3 JUST 4S COOL 4S I R3M3MB3R YOU W3RE. >:]

Dave grins a stupid, goofy grin that would give June a run for her money and that he's immensely glad she isn't around to see. 

Dave: oh man oh fuck  
Dave: shit tez its been ages  
Dave: are you here yet

Terezi: 1 JUST GOT H3R3 L4ST N1GHT  
Terezi: 1'M CURR3NTLY S1TT1NG ON ROS3 4ND K4N4Y4'S COUCH BOR3D OUT OF MY FUCK1NG TH1NKP4N  
Terezi: TH3Y'R3 4T TH31R BOR1NG 4DULT WR1GGL3R R34R1NG JOB OR SOM3TH1NG 4ND TH3Y L3FT M3 H3R3 4LL BOR3D 4ND 4LON3

Dave: shit you know what that sounds like to me

Terezi: WH4T? >:o

Dave: thats some prime maryam lalonde pranking time right there is what that is

Terezi: 1 H4V3 4LR34DY LO4D G4P3R P4P3R3D TH31R R3SP1T3BLOCK, HUNG 4LL OF TH31R UND3R G4RM3NTS FROM TH3 B4LCONY, 4ND L3FT TH3M 4 PO3M 1N TH3 ST34M OF TH31R 4BLUT1ON TR4P M1RROR  
Terezi: 1T'S 4BOUT HOW GROSS 4ND LOV3Y DOV3Y TH3Y 4R3 >x]

Dave: genius  
Dave: god damn inspired  
Dave: damn i missed you  
Dave: when will karkat and i be able to see you do you think

Dave taps away at his phone, still beaming. The cat rubs against it, doing everything it can to try and steal his attention back from the friend on the other end. 

Terezi: SOON  
Terezi: 1'M NOT R34LLY DO1NG 4NYTH1NG 1'M JUST SORT OF H3R3 NOW  
Terezi: TO B3 HON3ST W1TH YOU 1 D1DN'T R34LLY TH1NK TOO F4R AH34D 1N COM1NG H3R3

Dave: i dont blame you  
Dave: rose told me you couldnt find her  
Dave: that sucks dude im sorry

Terezi: Y34H 1T DO3S

Dave: you need to get your mind off of that shit  
Dave: reconnect and what not  
Dave: settle in here  
Dave: karkats wriggling day is coming up and youre more than invited  
Dave: hes gonna want you there believe me  
Dave: its just gonna be a few of us cause he wants to keep it small this year  
Dave: ju

Dave starts to type her name, catches himself, and quickly deletes it. He types out her old name and doing so makes his smile fade just a bit. 

Dave: johns gonna be there

Terezi: OH  
Terezi: 1T W1LL B3 N1C3 TO S33 H1M

Dave's reflex is to correct her. To make sure that she doesn't fuck up in front of June and hurt her feelings. But it isn't his place to out her, so he ignores it and lets it pass. He starts to type another reply and is interrupted by another text coming through. His smile picks up again when he reads the name. 

Karkat: HEY UH BABE  
Karkat: MY PRECIOUS DARLING FUCKING BOYFRIEND WHO I LOVE MORE THAN MY PIECE OF SHIT LIFE ITSELF  
Karkat: WHEN IN THE EVERLOVING FUCK WERE YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT JOHN'S A GIRL


	6. Chapter 6

When Dave gets home from the Carapacian Kingdom, Karkat is lying on their couch, entirely horizontal, and watching some new TV show he found that makes June's favorites look good. When his boyfriend opens the door to their hive, he pauses it and sits up. The vaguely disgruntled look the show has left smeared across his features breaks into the closest Karkat can come to looking pleasant. 

Karkat: HEY LOOK WHO IT IS  
Karkat: HOW IS DAD NUMBER TWO DOING? IS HE HAVING AS MUCH FUN DOING ABSOLUTELY JACK SHIT AS WE ARE?

Dave takes a seat next to him on the couch, floating down onto it with gentle ease, like Karkat himself is setting him down gently on the plush cushions. 

Dave: yeah hes more chill than a vaporwave concert in antarctica  
Dave: theyre doing pretty good for themselves

Karkat: WELL THANK FUCK FOR THAT. I'D HATE FOR THEM TO NOT BE TREATED LIKE THE LITERAL FUCKING GODS THEY ARE FOR TWO SECONDS. Karkat: OKAY Karkat: I KNOW THAT SOUNDED SUPER SARCASTIC BUT I MEAN IT. THEY DESERVE IT. Karkat: UNRELATED - YOU DIDN'T REPLY TO MY TEXT WHAT FUCKING GIVES, BABE.

Dave blows a quiet raspberry and laces his fingers across his stomach, settling into the couch. 

Dave: yeah we gotta talk about that  
Dave: i have got multiple questions on that front  
Dave: one how the hell did you find out about that  
Dave: two who else have you told

Karkat: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU TAKE ME FOR  
Karkat: I HAVEN'T TOLD ANYONE

He scoffs at the implied accusation and with a grumpy huff tucks his arms under each other across his chest. He glares at Dave through bushy, furrowed brows and entirely throws Dave off. He's always the cutest person Dave has ever seen, troll or otherwise, but when he's angry it's like that adorable factor is magnified tenfold. 

Dave: youre cute when youre pissed off

Karkat: I'M ALWAYS PISSED OFF ASSHOLE

Dave: hell yeah you are

Dave's comment brings a flush of red to Karkat's cheek and lets Dave get himself back on track. 

Dave: on the girl topic  
Dave: relating to our good buddy egbert  
Dave: keep doing the not telling anybody thing  
Dave: but also start doing the telling me how you know thing

Karkat rolls his eyes and waves a hand dismissively, as if it's a pain in the ass that Dave doesn't already know. 

Karkat: KANAYA KIND OF LET IT SLIP  
Karkat: DON'T WORRY, I ALREADY GAVE HER THE VERBAL BERATING TO END ALL VERBAL BERATINGS IN THIS ENTIRE GOD DAMN UNIVERSE

Dave: damn okay so troll solidarity and all no secrets among brothers that kinda thing

Karkat: MORE LIKE SHE ASSUMED YOU ALREADY TOLD ME CAUSE SHE WOULD HAVE ALREADY TOLD ROSE  
Karkat: AS SOON AS I REALIZED WHAT SHE WAS SAYING I PLUGGED MY EARS AND DIDN'T LET HER SAY ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT IT

Dave sighs and adjusts his aviators. 

Dave: so you know shes a girl  
Dave: you dont know her like new name or plans or anything though

Karkat: NOT A FUCKING CLUE

Dave: good thats hers to lay on you  
Dave: she mentioned wanting to talk to you about it at your party

Karkat: FUCK ME I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT THAT FOR LITERALLY A SINGLE MINUTE

Dave: do you still want it to be a tight affair  
Dave: who are we inviting

Karkat: UGH YES. I'VE GOTTEN ENOUGH OF ALMOST EVERYONE LATELY TO LAST ME A LIFETIME. AND GIVEN OUR WHOLE GOD SITUATION WHO KNOWS HOW LONG THAT ACTUALLY IS.  
Karkat: I MEAN I LOVE OUR FRIENDS AS MUCH AS I POSSIBLY CAN BUT CAN WE HAVE ONE WRIGGLING DAY OR 12TH PERIGEE'S EVE THAT DOESN'T INCLUDE EVERY BULGESHITTING LAST ONE OF THEM  
Karkat: I WAS JUST GONNA HANG OUT WITH JOHN AND JADE IF THAT'S ALRIGHT WITH YOU

Dave: yeah bro  
Dave: shit that reminds me  
Dave: i did kind of invite someone else

Karkat: WHAT THE FUCK??  
Karkat: WHO???

Dave: terezi

Karkat: SHIT THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I NEED.  
Karkat: HER CACKLING OVER A SHITTY, NONEXISTENT SPACE INTERNET CONNECTION AND BEING TWENTY SECONDS BEHIND EVERYBODY ELSE.

Dave: nah dude  
Dave: live in the flesh prison  
Dave: like actually here

Karkat: UM  
Karkat: COME THE FUCK AT ME AGAIN  
Karkat: I THINK MY MOTHERFUCKING HEARDUCTS ARE PLUGGED UP OR SOMETHING  
Karkat: CAUSE I COULD HAVE SWORN YOU JUST TOLD ME THAT YOU INVITED TEREZI FUCKING PYROPE TO MY WRIGGLING DAY PARTY IN THE FUCKING FLESH

Dave: yeah cause uh i did  
Dave: shes here on earth c  
Dave: did she not tell you?

Karkat throws his hands in the air with a blend of frustration and righteous indignation. He rises to his feet and starts pacing back and forth across their livingblock, gesticulating wildly and emphasizing his most fervently shouted words with appropriately matching gestures. 

Karkat: NO SHE DIDN'T TELL ME!  
Karkat: NOBODY TELLS ME ANYTHING!  
Karkat: WHEN SOMEONE THINKS, "HEY I SHOULD FILL IN ALL OF MY FRIENDS ON THIS MAJOR AND WORLD CHANGING DEVELOPMENT IN MY LIFE" KARKAT MOTHERFUCKING VANTAS IS FAR FROM THE TOP OF THE LIST OF PEOPLE TO TELL  
Karkat: IN FACT  
Karkat: HE'S SO FAR TO THE BOTTOM OF THE LIST THAT HIS NAME IS LITERALLY BEING DRAGGED THROUGH THE FUCKING MUD  
Karkat: I BET SHE EVEN KNOWS ABOUT JOHN  
Karkat: THEY'VE PROBABLY BEEN CHATTING IT UP SINCE THE SECOND SHE DECIDED TO COME HERE

Dave scratches his nose with a little nervous tic. He watches Karkat's frantic pacing with a slight amusement. It's times like this that he loves him more than anything. He might express it in the weirdest and most volatile way imaginable, but Karkat is the most caring and loving person that he knows. And every word of his rant is screaming that he just wants to be included in his friend's lives. 

Dave: nah  
Dave: she has deliberately told her jack fuck and shit  
Dave: shes kind of crazy nervous about all of this

Karkat: HM. OKAY.  
Karkat: HOW LONG HAS TEREZI BEEN HERE, EVEN?

Dave: she rolled up last night

Karkat: HM.

Karkat falls back onto the couch beside Dave and doesn't say anything else about it. At least, not verbally. He digs his head into the crook of Dave's arm and continues to grumble almost inaudibly and definitely illegibly under his breath. 

They sit this way for a while, quietly and as comfortably as possible with Karkat still upset and his horns digging into Dave's side. Karkat's grumbling is almost like rain on a window pane or whale sounds for Dave and he can almost feel himself drifting off when Karkat wakes him right back up. 

Karkat: DO YOU THINK THAT THINGS WILL BE WEIRD WITH HER?

Dave: i mean things are always weird with her shes super fucking weird  
Dave: and you guys have a weird history  
Dave: but damn im glad shes back and i thought you would be too

Karkat: NOT TEREZI OH MY GOD.  
Karkat: OF COURSE SHIT'S GONNA BE WEIRD WITH HER IT'S BEEN WEIRD FOR SWEEPS. I DON'T THINK IT'S EVER NOT BEEN WEIRD, AND I DON'T EXACTLY HAVE HIGH HOPES OF THAT CHANGING ANY TIME SOON.  
Karkat: I MEAN JOHN.

Karkat's voice is almost as calm as it can be, which might not be saying much, but is still noticeable to Dave after spending so long with him. He runs his hands through his boyfriend's hair and curls it around his fingers. Karkat's hand sits on his knee, his thumb running absentmindedly over the fabric of Dave's pants. 

Dave: why would it be weird  
Dave: i thought trolls were cool about this kind of thing

Karkat: COOLER THAN HUMANS THAT'S FOR SURE.  
Karkat: IT ISN'T FUCKING WEIRD OR ANYTHING BUT IT WASN'T THE MOST COMMON THING ON ALTERNIA.  
Karkat: THE ONLY TRANS PERSON I KNEW BEFORE ROXY WAS VRISKA AND FUCK HER YA KNOW?

Dave: well was it weird with roxy  
Dave: you seem fine with him

Karkat: NO IT WASN'T FUCKING WEIRD. BUT I DON'T KNOW ROXY. NOT LIKE I KNOW JOHN, AT LEAST.  
Karkat: I'VE NEVER HAD FEELINGS FOR YOUR DAD FOR FUCK'S SAKE

Dave's hand comes to a rest on the crown of Karkat's head and he remembers his own feelings for June. He's never told Karkat about that. It's never come up, and honestly it would be an awkward conversation given his boyfriend's own history with being sucked into the unrequited Egbert feelings black hole. 

Dave: its only weird if you make it weird  
Dave: which i guess youre good at so i dont fucking know  
Dave: but if i havent managed to make it weird yet i think youre golden

Karkat nuzzles into his side and grumbles again. 

Karkat: WHATEVER YOU SAY, I GUESS. 

Karkat yawns, his open mouth somehow stretching even wider than when he yells. 

Karkat: SO IT'S GOING TO BE YOU, ME, JOHN, JADE, AND TEREZI.

Dave: yup  
Dave: what do you even want to do

Karkat: I DON'T KNOW. WHATEVER YOU GUYS WANT TO DO.

Dave: its your birthday yo

Karkat: FIRST OF ALL IT'S MY WRIGGLING DAY. I WAS NOT BIRTHED. I FUCKING WRIGGLED.

Dave: no you didnt you fell from the sky on a meteor screaming like someone just stole your binky

Karkat: SECONDLY, I DON'T GIVE A TRASH BEAST'S ASS WHAT WE DO, I JUST WANNA SEE MY GOD DAMNED FRIENDS FOR A FUCKING TIGHT AFFAIR, AS YOU SO ELOQUENTLY PUT IT. A QUIET NIGHT IN.

Dave: is any night with you a quiet night

Karkat: NO.

Karkat jabs his finger into Dave's leg as payment for his teasing.

Karkat: BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I WANT A MILLION FUCKERS WITH MAGIC POWERS RUNNING AROUND ALL THE DAMN TIME.

Dave laughs and ruffles Karkat's hair. He leans over and kisses right between his horns, reveling in the smell of him and stealing a moment to take it in. 

Dave: why dont we watch a movie  
Dave: low lights no talking tons of popcorn  
Dave: just good company and good friends and all that good shit

Karkat: THAT SOUNDS PRETTY NICE, ACTUALLY. WE CAN GET JOHN TO BRING ONE OF HER DUMB MOVIES. IT'S A SOLID 50/50 IF IT'LL BE GENIUS OR ABSOLUTE MUSCLEBEAST SHIT DRIVEL, BUT EITHER WAY I'LL BE ENTERTAINED. 

Karkat closes his eyes and his grumbling slowly fades into a soft snore that's a far cry from the loud, gravelly sounds more commonly rolling out of him. Dave loves him when he's his grumpy, boisterously disgruntled waking self, but there's something about the uncharacteristic quiet of him when he's asleep that stirs up Dave's emotions in a softer way. He goes from being a source of wry, yet adorable, bemusement to tying up Dave's stomach in knots and making him feel like a lovestruck kid on a meteor shooting through Paradox Space again. He scoots down on the couch so that he can set his head down on top of Karkat's. Before long, he's asleep, too.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been pretty good about being pretty quick with putting chapters up of this so far, so I feel bad that this one took a while! Please forgive me, I have been quite sick this last week.

June and Jade are walking down the street toward Dave and Karkat's hive when June tells her. It's easier than it was with Rose, but not quite so easy that it falls out by accident like it did with Dave. 

Jade had wanted to fly the entire way there. She's big on the whole flying thing and has probably spent more time than any of them in the skies of Earth C since they got there, rivaling even Dave. June insisted on walking, at least the last stretch of the trip to their friend's home, so that she would have time to have the talk she wanted to have with her sister privately before she had it with Karkat. Jade had balked, but relented, and June was relieved. She told her outright.

June: so.  
June: that is that.  
June: i'm a girl. new name, new me, haha!

Jade had been hurrying along, a few paces ahead of her, but slows down at hearing the news. She turns her head, and takes her sister in for a moment, silently studying her features and wordlessly observing her. June waits for her to respond, breath and words caught tight in the trap of her throat. 

When Jade has digested the announcement fully, she breaks into a laugh. Moonlight glints off of her glasses and the bright white of her pronounced canines shines in the night. 

She reaches out an arm, puts it around June's shoulder, and pulls her in tight, squeezing her close to her side. This makes it more difficult to walk by far, so June kicks off of the ground and lets both her sister's bouncing gait and the hug carry her along. 

Jade: i always wanted a sister!!  
Jade: i mean, i always wanted a brother too  
Jade: or any sibling really  
Jade: but a sister!!!  
Jade: how did you find out?

June: just a lot of thinking, and worrying, and sitting alone in my house, numb and disconnected. you know.  
June: honestly, you kind of had a lot to do with it. the figuring it out, i mean, not the numbness and depression haha. 

Jade puts a hand to her chest and lets her other hand come to a rest on June's shoulder as they turn the corner onto Dave and Karkat's street. 

Jade: me????  
Jade: how is that?

June: well, i kind of found myself... envying you?

June blushes and stammers out her words, glad for the cover of night and the fact that the streetlight they're passing under being out helps to keep her face from being seen clearly. 

June: like, i would look at your hair and wish that mine was that long, and wild, and incredible.  
June: i would watch the way you move, the way you talk, and just wish that i did not have to guard myself so much.  
June: that i could just exist as i naturally do, which is way more like you do than the image of dude that i've put on myself over the years.

Jade nuzzles her head into June's shoulder and lets out a little noise halfway between a sigh and a dog's whine. She kicks herself off of the ground and floats next to June, both arms leaning on her shoulders and her feet floating above her head and behind them, as if she's lying on her bed, face-down, and June is her pillow. 

Jade: thats the sweetest thing ive ever heard!!!!!  
Jade: and it makes sense too  
Jade: i dont think you really made sense as a boy  
Jade: you made sense as you i guess but not really as a boy ya know?

June: i think i know what you mean. 

Jade: so whats your name? you cant have jade that ones taken

June: haha if i go to jail for anything it won't be for identity theft.  
June: it's june!!!

Jade: damn now im jealous of you! what a pretty name!  
Jade: so are you gonna change up your look?

She shakes her wild mane of hair out and puts it in front of June's face from over the top of her head. The black tangle that hasn't been so much as trimmed in years obscures all of June's vision and she pushes through it to see where they're going. 

Jade: are you gonna give me a run for my money in the feral hairstyle department?

June: well, i am growing it out...

As Jade returns to floating by her side, she shakes her own, significantly less overgrown hair in front of her eyes and grins out from between the black locks, the same shade as Jade's.

June: but i think i will stop a while before it gets as long as yours. 

Jade: suit yourself!

They reach the foot of Karkat's stairs and float up to the top, coming to a stop in front of the door before setting their feet on the ground again. Jade takes June's hands and swings their arms lazily between them. 

Jade: do they know?

She cocks her head toward the hive, indicating Dave and Karkat. 

June: only dave. i'm going to tell karkat tonight but he's a troll so he will be fine with it, i'm sure.  
June: he'll say something cross and then get weirdly and awkwardly sweet about it. 

Jade: youll be lucky if you make it out of here without him trying to kiss you

June: he got over that ages ago! he has not so much as made a pass at me, spades or otherwise, since he and dave made their whole thing official. 

Jade shrugs and lifts her hand to knock on the door, but pulls it back and hesitates. 

Jade: hey before we go in i just want to say  
Jade: im proud of you, little sister

June just smiles in return. Jade lifts her hand, knocks, and gives a little squeal of delight when Dave opens the door. 

\----------

Karkat: NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.  
Karkat: FROGS DON'T WORK THAT WAY! THEY'VE GOT ALL KINDS OF EXTRA BITS AND STUFF THAT NO OTHER ANIMAL HAS.  
Karkat: YOU CAN'T JUST SMOOSH THEM TOGETHER WITH A DINOSAUR THAT MAKES LITERALLY NEGATIVE AMOUNTS OF SENSE. IT IS PAN-NUMBINGLY STUPID AND MAKES ME WANT TO TEAR MY OWN GLOBES OUT.

Jade: thats only how sburb frogs work who know how earth frogs are?? i think mr spielberg did more research on frogs outside his own door than frogs in the medium!

Dave: i highly doubt they did research on anything its a fucking movie

June: are you implying that this was not made with the most tender touches of utmost care and perfectionism? it won awards, dave!

The four of them, two boyfriends and two sisters, sit together, crowded around Dave and Karkat's couch, watching Jurassic Park against most of their better judgement and at June's insistence. Dave and Karkat sit on one end of it, Dave's arm around Karkat and his head on his shoulder. Jade sits on the other end, legs curled up beneath her, and June sits cross legged on the ground at her sister's feet. The movie has been paused for almost ten minutes as Karkat has ranted while Dave and Jade -- and occasionally June -- have egged him on. They're honestly having more fun with this than the movie, to all of their surprise, and Dave especially was enjoying it at first. But now that he is clearly getting frustrated that they're all just arguing in circles and not getting on with it, he genuinely wants to get back to the movie. He sits with a slight scowl and starts to sigh at everything Jade and June say that he knows will keep Karkat going. 

He finally just unpauses the movie, hoping that it will make them start paying attention to it again and quit bickering. It works for a moment, as June stops mid-Karkat-ribbing and is drawn back into a world of dinosaurs and precocious children. 

Before they're all really and truly invested again, Dave has to pause it once more when there's a knock at the living room door.

Dave: oh shit  
Dave: what is up hell yes Dave: we can have some fun for once instead of shouting out our asses about frogs

June and Jade both give him a questioning look.

Jade: who is that? i thought you said you didnt invite anyone else

Dave: lets just say we had a last minute invitation  
Dave: a surprise special guest coming all the way from her wayward home on the maryam-lalonde living room couch

June hops to her feet and zips across the room, curiously.

June: i'll get it!

She throws open the door and her mouth falls open in shock. She hangs in midair, one hand on the knob, and can't bring herself to speak. 

Terezi: OMG D4V3 1 C4N'T-  
Terezi: OH  
Terezi: H1 JOHN

Terezi Pyrope stands in front of her, looking remarkably like the day that she left to search for her moirail, at least at first glance. She stands with her hands in her pockets and just a hint of a slouch in her shoulders. Her mouth sits in a wide smile, showing two rows of razor sharp teeth. 

June doesn't get a chance to even truly take in that Terezi is really there, live and notably minus Vriska, before she realizes she's wrapped her arms around her old, troll friend. She's hugging her right around the torso, hands clasped tight and Terezi is laughing quietly, her mouth right next to June's ear. June sniffs deeply and takes in the smell of her, and Terezi does the same. As soon as she realizes what she's doing, she quickly lets go and ducks back a few steps. She laughs nervously and mutters an apology under her breath. 

June: uh... hi.

Terezi: HOW'S 1T GO1NG?

June: good, i guess.  
June: how is earth c?

Terezi: B3TT3R TH4N DY1NG 1N SP4C3.

June: haha

Terezi: DO3S 34RTH C NOT H3V3 4NY B4RB3R34V3RS?

June: huh?

Terezi: YOUR H41R, DOOFUS.

June: oh

June tugs at her bangs. 

June: how can you see that?

Terezi shrugs, hands still in her pockets. 

Terezi: TH3R3'S MOR3 BL4CK.  
Terezi: 4LL TH4T O1LY L1COR1C3 SM3LL 1S G3TT1NG 1N TH3 W4Y OF SN1FF1NG OUT YOUR 3Y3S. 

Dave: is that motherfucking terezi pyrope

Dave comes floating to the door and puts one arm on either of June's shoulders, looking past her at the new arrival. 

Terezi: WHO 3LS3 WOULD 1T B3 NUMBGLOB3S? TH3 TROLL POP3?

Dave slides past June and picks Terezi up in a floating hug. 

Dave: get the hell in here so the party can really get its ass going

He releases her and gives her a playful shove on the shoulder towards the door. They both scoot past June, who holds the door for them. Terezi's arm brushes against hers as she swings the door shut behind them and she wishes the moment didn't pass as quickly as it does. 

When greetings are all said and done, Terezi takes a seat on the couch, squeezing herself in between Jade and Karkat, kicking her shoes off on the ground in front of the couch, right where June had been sitting. It's taken her no time at all to make herself at home. 

They all decide that it's best to finish the movie, if only to keep Karkat from grumbling all night, and then they can all catch up. While June settles in to a seat on the floor beside the end of the couch that Jade is curled up in, Dave unpauses the movie and Terezi digs a hand greedily into the bucket of popcorn that Karkat is cradling. 

The movie plays on, only interrupted by a handful of times that Terezi makes them pause it so that Dave or Jade can fill her in on what she missed or describe something she's having trouble smelling. Once, she insists on getting up so that she can lick the screen and really get a good look at the dinosaurs. 

The whole time, June is doing more watching Terezi than she is watching the movie. She cuts glance after glance over at her, enthralled by the way she holds her nose up ever so slightly to get a better smell at the colors dancing across the screen. How she plugs her nose while she's eating popcorn so that the smells and tastes don't blend too much together and make it harder for her to pay attention. How she grins at every crash and roar, and wiggles her toes in delight. 

She's so fucking weird. And June missed it so much. 

At one point, while someone is being chased by a dinosaur and June has lost all track of what's happening, Jade catches her looking at Terezi.

Her sister gives her a wry, knowing look and then points surreptitiously from June to Terezi. She mouths one word and raises both eyebrows. One of her doggy ears twitches atop her head.

Jade: crush?

June blushes so hard she feels like her cheeks are burning. She digs her face into her arms, crossed above her knees, and peeks out from over them, her glasses pushed up so there's no way she can see the movie that she's suddenly pretending as if she's been paying any mind.

Jade drops it, but not before reaching down, ruffling June's hair, and holding a finger to her lips as a promise that she won't tell. 

The movie plays on, and around the time that a t-rex comes bursting into frame triumphantly, Karkat wrests the remote from Dave's hands and pauses it again, freezing the dinosaur in the center of the screen. He turns to Terezi and his face is even grumpier than usual. June hadn't noticed -- she was so wrapped up in Terezi's presence -- but she realizes as he does this that Karkat has been uncharacteristically quiet ever since their old friend arrived. 

Karkat: ALRIGHT I CAN'T STAND IT ANY LONGER.  
Karkat: SO YOU COULDN'T FIND HER?  
Karkat: AND YOU JUST, WHAT? GAVE UP? DECIDED THAT SHOWING BACK UP HERE WITH NOTHING TO SHOW FOR YOUR TIME WAS BETTER THAN BEING A GOOD FRIEND?

Dave lifts himself up off of the couch with a sigh. 

Dave: well  
Dave: this is not a dave conversation  
Dave: ill be in the kitchen when this is done if anyone wants to join me

He turns to leave and drifts through the doorway towards their kitchen. June takes the opportunity to get some space of her own and follows him. 

June: me too.

Terezi: WH4T THE FUCK? WH3R3 1S TH1S COM1NG FROM?

Jade's ears have gone flat against her head and a look of both concern and resigned frustration at an outburst from Karkat has smeared itself across her face.

Jade: ill stay here and mediate i suppose 

June: you will not.

June takes Jade's hand and pulls her from the couch to follow them out of the room. If she stays to mediate, tempers will only flare more. Best to let them work this out on their own. The rest of them can catch up when they've worked out their pent up emotions. 

Both sisters float together into the kitchen to find Dave sitting on the counter-top, blowing hot air onto his sunglasses to clean them. They stop in front of him and Jade lands on the counter beside him. 

Jade: yikes

Dave: basically yeah  
Dave: i was worried he was gonna do that  
Dave: he was super weird about it the other night when i said she was coming Dave: he acted like it wasnt a big deal and you know he doesnt act like anything is ever not a big deal  
Dave: so i knew inside he was crabwalking on the motherfucking handle  
Dave: tiptoeing on that shit  
Dave: just fucking waiting to jump off and do a swirling ass cannonball like a ticking time bomb except time is terezi and the bomb is him doing his cyclical explosive emotional management  
Dave: i shouldnt have invited her  
Dave: i should have let them get together on their own playing field not gone and ruined his wriggling day  
Dave: like a fucking dumbass  
Dave: im the worst boyfriend  
Dave: literally the worst you cannot get worse than me  
Dave: you can take out a monthly subscription to worst boyfriend in the universe magazine and every month i am on the cover and every article is about my stupid ass

Jade: aw that isnt true!

Jade puts a hand on his back and rubs it in a way that's uncomfortably similar to how she would pet a dog. 

Jade: it isnt your responsibility to watch his behavior 

June: and you were just excited to see a friend. 

Jade: exactly!

Dave: yeah but still

Karkat's raised voice echoes into the kitchen from the other room down the hall. Terezi's voice is slowly rising to match his, and they can just barely hear her as well. 

June: why is he even upset? he loves terezi and hates vriska.

Dave: yeah but hes got this thing about abandoning friends  
Dave: and i guess that extends to spidertroll  
Dave: for some reason

Jade: shouldnt it?

Dave: thats not my call

June tries to tune out the flurry of angry words coming from the other room. She tries to focus on Dave and Jade, hoping that it will pass quickly and they can get on with their night. She fails. All she can hear is Terezi's voice, heady, gravelly, and passionate. She wants to run in there and defend her, to tear Karkat a new nook for laying into her. She's just gotten back, let her take a breath before giving her shit. 

She doesn't. But she does fume. Her fists are clenched at her sides, and she feels steam rising in her chest, nearly ready to burst out of her. 

Dave: yo june if you shake any more youre gonna start a fire in here

Dave is pulling glasses from the cabinet to start pouring them drinks. Jade is looking at her, care in her big eyes, and cupping her chin in her hand. She knows what she's feeling and their bond as sisters lets her wordlessly offer June a note of comfort with just an empathetic look. 

June: sorry, it's just...  
June: she does not deserve all of that. 

Dave shrugs. 

The three of them stand there awkwardly while Dave hands each of them a drink. June doesn't care what it is, she didn't even watch him pour it. She downs it in one go and winces at the burn. 

Dave glances at Jade, who cuts an eye to the other room, then back at June, and then raises her eyebrows suggestively while taking a sip of her own drink. Dave takes the hint. 

Dave: sorry uh  
Dave: if her being here is an issue  
Dave: i would have asked her not to come if i knew it was gonna mess with you just as much as i thought it might mess with him

June sets her glass down and starts filling it back up with whatever bottle Dave poured her first glass from. She doesn't even bother to look at the label and read what it is. Both Dave and Jade eye the glass warily. 

June: what do you mean?

Jade: i think hes talking about how that-

She nods toward the living room.

Jade: is affecting you given how you feel about terezi

June: what?  
June: i am sorry, what?  
June: she is a friend!!  
June: if you're implying that-

She downs another drink. 

June: that i feel any differently about her than any of you or even karkat.  
June: or that her being back is in any way more difficult or weirder for me.  
June: because of some unexplored by deep seated feelings of romantic attraction that i kept alive by maintaining an ongoing long distance chat relationship with her.  
June: and that are now being stirred up by her sudden arrival after having been gone for years......

June scoffs and leans on the counter, looking out of the window and across Dave's lawn. 

Jade: i think that is exactly what hes implying 

Dave: and youre kinda confirming with that weird ass response

June opens her mouth and tries to think of anything she can say to refute it, even though she knows they're right, but before she can say a word to further incriminate herself, they all realize that the noise from the other room has fallen silent. A moment later, the sound of the front door slamming tears through the house.

Dave: uh

Jade: oh jeez...

June keeps staring out the window. She watches in silence as Terezi strides across the lawn, hands in her pockets and shoulders tight with anger and frustration. 

She's leaving.

She's only just gotten back. June hasn't even really gotten to say hello, or have a real talk with her -- especially about what she was hoping to talk to her about as soon as possible -- and already her time back has been uninviting and horrible. She wants to run out to the lawn and wrap her arms around her. Promise her that she's made the right choice. That she isn't the one abandoning anybody and that Karkat is just twisted up over nothing like he always is. 

She starts to lift off of the ground as she stares, lost in thought, at the girl now walking solemnly down the road away from the house. 

Jade: if youre thinking what i think youre thinking...  
Jade: about going to talk to her  
Jade: i would, if i was you

Jade puts a hand on June's shoulder. 

Jade: shes been alone for years in the darkness of space  
Jade: ive been there, and it isnt fun 

June turns to look at her sister and hugs her. She screws up her face in a look of righteous determination, nods without a word, and makes her choice. 

Dave gives a little salute of affirmation as she zips past him. She races through the living room, passing Karkat sitting on the couch and staring at the paused television angrily. His eyes follow her as she crosses the room, and as she glances over her shoulder and throws open the door, she catches him watching her. 

Through the anger -- the furrowed brows and red blushing cheeks -- a profound sadness shines through. A wist that she can't quite place, but she knows she's felt all the same as him. 

He nods at her.

She nods back. 

She closes the door behind her, darts across the lawn, and shouts Terezi's name.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it was important to show this scene from Terezi's perspective to properly set her emotional landscape moving forward with this. Do not worry, other things are coming!!

Terezi's steps across Dave and Karkat's lawn ring as she approaches the door are tight and nervous. Her cane taps against the soft grass, making sure that she hasn't missed anything in her path with her sense of smell. Every foot forward feels like she's stepping over a mountain, and her feet drag with the effort. It isn't that she doesn't want to be there, or that she doesn't want to see her friends. She wants nothing else on this whole planet or in any universe. 

But John is there.

And as much as she has so desperately missed him, even more than any of her other friends or even Dave, the thought of seeing John again has her filled with dread. Not a bad dread, not like the way she was feeling about searching for Vriska. If it was her moirail on the other side of the door -- that is rapidly growing closer -- she isn't certain she could even bring herself to knock. Not after failing to find her. 

Her dread of seeing John is more the dread of not knowing. Of being certain of her own feelings, but worrying over his. 

She takes each step up to the door carefully, and then knocks on it with the dragon shaped head of her cane. She runs a hand over the numbers beside the door to make sure she really is in the right place. She is. 

The sound of chatter and bombastic, cinematic music from inside stops abruptly, and a few seconds later, she hears a faint voice that makes her pump spin around. She can't quite make out what he says, but it's definitely John's voice. A moment later, the door swings open, and she fully expects it to be Dave opening his own hive door. 

Terezi: OMG D4V3 1 C4N'T-

But it isn't Dave. The intense scent of blue raspberry crashes against her, mingled with the black of his hair, sharp and bitter, like overbrewed tea. 

Terezi: OH  
Terezi: H1 JOHN.

Before he says a word to her or she has a chance to fully emotionally process that he's standing right there, his arms are wrapped around her and she's lifting her own to return the embrace. 

She can't quite bring herself to. Her arms hang in the air at his side for the few seconds that he holds her, and then they find their way back to her pockets when he lets go. The whole time he's holding her close, the smell of him is washing over her. Not just his colors, but the smell of him, himself. Warm, and making her pan swim, and altogether not like a troll. Or anything really. Just like him. 

June: uh...  
June: hi.

Terezi: HOW'S 1T GO1NG?

June: good, i guess.  
June: how is earth c?

Terezi: B3TT3R TH4N DY1NG 1N SP4C3.

June: haha

John stands in the doorway, a blur of blue and black, and Terezi sniffs deeply, searching for the part of him that she always liked best. The two berry colored eyes that she remembers being more beautiful than anybody's. Except maybe Vriska's, but that isn't a thought she's going to entertain when he's right in front of her and she isn't. A sheet of sharp black keeps them from her, hanging like a curtain in front of his face.

Terezi: DO3S 34RTH C NOT HAV3 4NY B4RB3R34V3RS?

June: huh?

Terezi: YOUR H41R, DOOFUS.

The curtain of black shifts and swirls as John pulls it away from his eyes. 

June: how can you see that?

Terezi: TH3R3'S MOR3 BL4CK.  
Terezi: 4LL TH4T O1LY L1COR1C3 SM3LL 1S GETT1NG 1N TH3 W4Y OF SN1FF1NG OUT YOUR 3Y3S.

A touch of warmth rises into her cheek and her ears and she hopes that John doesn't notice her flushing at the admission that she was trying look for his eyes. If he does notice, he doesn't have a chance to rib her about it, as a blur of candy red bumps into him and mingles with the blue. 

Dave: is that motherfucking terezi pyrope

Terezi: WHO 3LS3 WOULD 1T B3, NUMBGLOB3S? TH3 TROLL POP3?

Dave's arms wrap around her just as tightly as John's did and he picks her up in a hug that squeezes her breath away. 

Dave: get the hell in here so the party can really get its ass going

Dave drags her inside by the wrist after setting her down, and when she passes by John, her arm grazes his and makes her pump flip again. Her breath catches in her throat and she's glad that Dave is pulling her along so quickly that doesn't linger long enough for either of them to have to acknowledge it. 

Dave gestures for her to take a seat on the couch, and she does so gladly. Karkat is sitting there, and he gives her a little, awkward wave. She smiles back at him, hoping that her wide, sharp toothed grin will hide how weird it is to see him again. 

Jade sits opposite him, and she waves as well. Terezi waves back at her, a little more cordially but far more naturally than her greeting to Karkat is. 

Jade: hi, terezi! were watching a dragon movie, youll like it!

Karkat: IT'S A DINOSAUR MOVIE. NOT THE SAME THING.

Jade: then whats the difference? big, scaly, loud, trying to eat people...

Dave: i mean dinosaurs dont breathe fire for one  
Dave: at least i dont think they do  
Dave: also dragons arent real

Terezi: PSH  
Terezi: Y3S TH3Y 4R3.  
Terezi: WH4T 4R3 YOU 3V3N T4LK1NG 4BOUT?

She kicks off her shoes and pushes herself in between Jade and Karkat, using her elbows to give herself some space.

Dave: alright so im pretty much enraptured here by the cinematic stylings of my man spielberg  
Dave: so lets finish this and then we can chat it up  
Dave: i made a cake but not a-one of you fuckers is allowed to take a single bite until we read the very last name in the credits without another word about frogs or dragons

Dave unpauses the movie and she tries her best to pay attention. It really does start to leave her engrossed after a few minutes. The roars of the earth dinosaurs remind her of the kind of sounds she used to hear while she walked through the forests of Alternia, and the human dinosaur scientist whose hair smells like sunflowers has a cute voice. 

She isn't really following the plot since she missed the first half, so she has to get them to pause it a few times to fill her in. Once she starts to get it, she continues asking them to stop it in between shoveling handfuls of Karkat's popcorn in her mouth, since he's getting annoyed both by her stealing his snacks and by having to keep going over things for her, and she's missed her favorite pastime of riling him up. 

She's feeling more and more comfortable with her friends by the minute, and even begins to lay off of Karkat a little bit the further they get into the movie. Eventually, she isn't bothering to bother him at all, until he reaches over to Dave, snatches the remote, and pauses the movie. 

Karkat: ALRIGHT, I CAN'T STAND IT ANY LONGER.

Terezi freezes, a handful of unchewed popcorn in her mouth, and her palm halfway through wiping the grease from it on her pants. 

Karkat: SO YOU COULDN'T FIND HER?  
Karkat: AND YOU JUST, WHAT? GAVE UP? DECIDED THAT SHOWING BACK UP HERE WITH NOTHING TO SHOW FOR YOUR TIME WAS BETTER THAN BEING A GOOD FRIEND?

She swallows the popcorn heavily and her stomach sinks. Why the fuck does he care? And why is he bringing this up, now?

She flushes teal with anger.

Before she can reply, Dave is floating away from the couch with a pained and awkward look on his face.

Dave: well  
Dave: this is not a dave conversation  
Dave: ill be in the kitchen when this is done if anyone wants to join me

John gets up from where he was sitting on the floor and follows him.

June: me too.

Terezi: WH4T TH3 FUCK? WH3R3 1S TH1S COM1NG FROM?

Jade's ears are flat against her head and her hair bristles like her hackles are raised. Her lip curls up in a snarl that reveals one sharp canine.

Jade: ill stay here and mediate. 

June: you will not.

John takes her hand and leads her up and away from the couch. She almost resists, but she must think better of it, and instead floats after him into the hall. 

When all of their friends are out of the room and it's just her and Karkat sitting on the couch, she turns her body to face him square on. 

Terezi: 3XCUS3 M3?

Karkat: YOU HEARD ME. DID YOU JUST ABANDON HER?

Terezi: WHY DO YOU C4R3? YOU H4T3 H3R.

Karkat: OKAY, YES. BUT STILL. SHE'S ONE OF US. I WOULDN'T BE THE ONE TO GO LOOKING FOR HER, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, BUT I'M GLAD SOMEONE WAS. EMPHASIS ON THE PAST TENSE THERE, IN CASE I WASN'T CLEAR. 

Karkat rolls his eyes. She grabs the back of the couch to have some kind of anchor and keep her temper from flaring up too brightly. She tries her best to keep her voice down as much as she can so they don't hear her in the other room. That last thing she wants is to show up back home and have everyone immediately wish she had stayed away. 

Terezi: B4CK TH3 FUCK OFF, V4NT4S. YOU DO NOT KNOW 4NYTH1NG 4BOUT US OR WHY 1 W3NT 4FT3R H3R 1N TH3 F1RST PL4C3.  
Terezi: T4K3 YOUR PR3SUMPT1ONS 4ND STICK TH3M UP YOUR NOOK. 

Karkat: I CAN TAKE A WILD FUCKING GUESS WHY. NOT THAT YOU WOULD TELL ME IF I'M RIGHT. 

Terezi takes her turn at scoffing this time. It turns into a bitter laugh that tastes like a rotten candy apple on her tongue. 

Terezi: B3C4US3 W3'R3 MO1R41LS, DUMB4SS. 

Karkat: MOIRAILS DON'T MAKE OUT IN THE SCRUB CUBBY -- IF THAT IS ALL YOU WERE DOING IN THERE -- WHEN THEY THINK THAT NO ONE SAW THEM DUCK IN THERE.  
Karkat: MOIRAILS ALSO DON'T IGNORE ALL OF THEIR OTHER FRIENDS FOR A SWEEP AND A HALF TO MAKE GOO GOO EYES OVER HALF COCKED BATTLE PLANS AND REMINISCING ABOUT FLARP CAMPAIGNS FROM WHEN THEY WERE FUCKING WIGGLERS.  
Karkat: BUT MATESPRITS DAMN WELL MIGHT. 

Terezi can barely hold back her rage. She clambers to her feet, standing on the couch cushions and looming over him. He looks up at her without flinching or giving an inch, and she clenches both fists at her sides. 

Terezi: 4LR1GHT. YOU W4NT M3 TO 4DM1T W3 W3R3 H34D OV3R BULG3 1N FLUSH3D LOV3?

Her voice is rising higher, coming to match his own volume, and her nails are digging into her palms.

Terezi: F1N3.  
Terezi: W3 W3R3 4S FLUSH3D 4S TWO TROLLS C4N POSS1BLY B3 W1THOUT 3V3R 4CTU4LLY S4Y1NG 4NYTH1NG ABOUT 1T!  
Terezi: DO3S TH4T M4K3 YOU H4PPY? 1S TH4T WH4T YOU W4NT3D TO H34R? DO3S MY PR3S3NC3 COMB1N3D W1TH TH4T 4DM1SS1ON FAC1L1T4TE 4NOTH3R SW33P OR TWO OF TH3 N3V3R3ND1NG V4NT4S P1TY P4RTY?!?

Karkat: IT'S BETTER THAN NOT HEARING ANYTHING FROM YOU FOR ALMOST THREE SWEEPS. 

Terezi: W3LL 1F TH1S 1S HOW YOU'R3 GO1NG TO 4CT NOW TH4T 1'M B4CK, M4YB3 1 SHOULD JUST FUCK1NG L34V3 4G41N!  
Terezi: LOOK1NG FOR TH3 G1RL 1 LOV3 4ND 4LMOST DY1NG OV3R 1T 1S B3TT3R TH4N G3TT1NG SH4M3D 4ND B3L1TTL3D BY TH3 K1NG OF SH1TT1NG ON 3V3RYON3 WHO GIV3S 4 S1NGL3 FLY1NG FUCK 4BOUT H1M!

Karkat: OH, FUCK OFF. I'M NOT THE ONE WHO LEFT, AND THEN LEFT WHAT I LEFT FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Terezi: L3FT L3FT L3FT! 

Terezi holds up a hand and flaps her fingers, imitating Karkat's mouth. 

Karkat: QUIT BEING SO IMMATURE! I'M NOT THE ONE THINKING WITH MY BULGE!

Terezi's breath catches in her throat and a drop of liquid falling on her bare foot makes her realize she's crying. Her teeth are clenched so tightly that the grinding in her head drowns out her own thoughts. 

Terezi: 1 DON'T H4V3 TO T4K3 TH1S MUSCL3B34ST SH1T. 

Karkat: THEN DON'T!

Terezi: 1 FUCK1NG WON'T! 1 SHOULD'V3 GU3SS3D 1'D G3T TH1S K1ND OF SH1T FROM SOM3ON3. 1 JUST WOULDN'T H4V3 THOUGHT 1T WOULD B3 YOU.  
TerezI: 1 DON'T KNOW WHY 1 CAM3 B4CK.

Karkat: NEITHER DO I!

She hops down from the couch. He doesn't say another word, and neither does she. She grabs her shoes, and as she's walking towards the door, she throws one of them at him. It smacks against his shoulder and clatters to the floor once more. 

She throws open the door and sneers over her shoulder. 

Terezi: H4PPY FUCK1NG WR1GGL1NG D4Y.

She slams the door.

Karkat: WELCOME FUCKING BACK.


	9. Chapter 9

Terezi mutters under her breath as she strides across the lawn ring and toward the street outside, barefoot, with one red shoe hanging from her clenched fist. Stupid fucking Karkat can't leave well enough alone and just be glad she's back. There has to be a problem. There has to be something else for her to worry over. Something else she did wrong. Somebody else she's failed. 

She doesn't know where else she's going to go. She can't go back to Rose and Kanaya's, at least not while she's still angry. They'll want her to try and fix it, and that's not a problem for tonight to solve. She wracks her mind for anybody else she could go to and it occurs to her that she doesn't really know anybody else she would be comfortable asking for a place to stay. Not here. 

Maybe John, if she can convince him to leave the party.

No.

That would be shitty to Karkat. And as mad as she is at him, she isn't going to do anything to make his night any worse. 

She supposes she'll wander for a while. Explore. At least there are things to do here, so it won't be nearly as boring as wandering the furthest ring. 

She takes one step onto the cold pavement of the road outside their hive and sets off in the first direction her instinct tells her, when she hears someone shout her name. 

She hears him shout her name.

June: terezi!!  
June: hey, wait!!!

She stops in her tracks and turns around. One sniff at the air shows her a blackberry blend of colors blurring together and running towards her. 

June: hey...

He comes close enough -- panting and bending at the waist as he stops running -- that his smell is taking shape.

June: wow, okay, i am way more out of shape than i thought i was.

He stands just far enough away that it's a little awkward, so she steps forward to fill the space between them. 

Terezi: DO YOU 4LSO H4V3 LOUD 4ND OBNOX1OUS OP1N1ONS 4BOUT MY D3C1S1ONS?

June: no, uh.  
June: not at all, actually. my opinions are of the quiet variety. and notably not obnoxious. i hope.  
June: mostly, i just want to apologize on behalf of.... you know, karkat. he'll probably apologize on his own once he calms down, but...  
June: you need to know that you did not deserve that back there. and that we are all glad that you're here.

Terezi blows a raspberry and shrugs. Her hands are still shaking quite a bit, but the fresh air and getting away from the moment are starting to calm her down. 

Terezi: W3LL. D3SP1T3 MR. CR4BBY NUBS 1N TH3R3, 1 4M GL4D TO B3 B4CK. 1T'S GOOD TO S33 YOU 4LL 4G41N.  
Terezi: 3V3N H1M. 

June: good. i'm uh.. i am especially glad that you're here.  
June: and i am not about to ask you to go back in there. it'll take a while for him to chill out. but... do you...

She hesitates a moment in her question, but she doesn't have to. Terezi knows what she's going to ask, and she knows what her answer will be. 

June: want some company?

Terezi's frustrated mask breaks into a sharp-toothed grin that's only half fake for June's sake, and she's flooded with relief. 

Terezi: WHY JOHN! HOW FORW4RD OF YOU! 1'V3 B33N H3R3 FOR 4LL OF 4 D4Y 4ND 4LR34DY YOU'R3 4SK1NG M3 ON 4 D4T3?  
Terezi: 4L4S, 1 C4NNOT 4CC3PT. 1 4M MUCH TOO COOL TO B3 3SCORT3D BY 4 N3RD L1K3 YOURS3LF. 

She fans herself with one hand, still grinning. 

June: oh hush, you are a nerd, you nerd. 

Terezi: 1NCR3D1BL3 COM3B4CKS FROM TH3 KING OF QU1PS, H1MS3LF. 

June: we can't all be the most clever person in the room at any given time, you know. 

Terezi: OH PL34S3, 1'M 4T L34ST TH3 MOST CL3V3R P3RSON ON TH3 PL4N3T. 

June: sucks to be whoever that was before yesterday.

Terezi: 1F TH3Y W4NT TO F1GHT M3 FOR TH3 T1TL3, 1'M W41T1NG.

June: haha i will make sure they get the message. 

There's a beat of awkward silence between them. Terezi wants to ask where they should go, what they should do, while June is aching to tell Terezi who she really is. To be honest with her. If there's anyone who needs to know, it's the girl standing in front of her. 

June: so...  
Terezi: SO...

Both girls try to speak at the same time and end up stumbling over their words. The street lamp above their heads flickers, and they continue to stand in silence. Terezi's hands are balled up in her pockets, her shoe dangling from one thumb. June's are clasped behind her back. Both of them wish their hands were wrapped around the other's. But June can't -- and won't -- take a step to make that happen until Terezi knows who she is, and they can hold hands as themselves.

She needs to tell her, if she's going to be any kind of comfort to the wayward troll standing before her. If she's going to truly welcome her home. 

June: hey.  
June: have you ever seen, or well, smelled, a sunrise?  
June: on earth, i mean, not one of your big, dangerous alternian ones. 

Terezi turns her head to one side and cups a hand to her ear. 

Terezi: WH4T'S TH1S 1 H34R?  
Terezi: 4 FURTH3R PROPOS1T1ON, 3V3N 4FT3R 1'V3 R3BUFF3D TH3 YOUNG SU1TOR'S 4DV4NC3S?

June: oh, just answer the question, nerd. 

Terezi giggles that rasping, mischievous laugh that June has missed so much. Terezi has almost forgotten how she was feeling a few moments before, and the anger at her friend is sloughing off with every laugh. 

Terezi: NO, NOT R34LLY.  
Terezi: 1 M34N, 1 SN1FF3D 4 F3W OUT WH3N W3 W3R3 W4TCH1NG YOU GUYS W4Y B4CK WH3N, BUT TH4T W4S JUST ON 4 SCR33N.  
Terezi: 1 DOUBT TH3 SM3LL W4S 4S CL34R 4S 1N R34L L1F3. 

June: do you want to?

June catches herself rocking on her heels a little bit, the weightless feeling she gets when she's terrified practically lifting her into the air. Her instinct is to stop, standing straight and tall. To appear sure of herself. To be stoic. She sets herself free from that and lets the thought blow away from her mind. 

Terezi: M3 4ND SUNS DON'T 3X4CTLY H4V3 TH3 B3ST TR4CK R3CORD. W3 DON'T S33 3Y3 TO 3Y3.  
Terezi: OURS 1S 4 H1STORY FROUGHT W1TH V1OL3NC3 4ND R3V3NG3.

June: i promise this sun isn't nearly as violent as alternia's. in fact, it is not violent at all. it really just kind of sits there, being bright.  
June: and i'm sure it smells delicious. like butterscotch or something. 

Terezi: 1 DO L1K3 BUTT3RSCOTCH. 4LR1GHT 3GB3RT.  
Terezi: YOU'V3 CONV1NC3D M3. SHOW M3 TH1S SUN OF YOURS. BUT 1F 1 LOS3 4NOTH3R ON3 OF MY S3NS3S C4US3 OF TH1S, 1T'S YOUR N3CK. 

June: excellent!!

June breaks into a grin to match Terezi's, and Terezi gets a whiff of vanilla cream. 

Terezi: WH3R3 DO YOU W4NT TO GO TO W4TCH TH1S 34RTH SUNR1S3, TH3N?

June: well, we have a couple of hours until then. if you are up for a flight, i have just the place!

Terezi: 1 H4V3 B33N FLY1NG NONSTOP FOR 4CTU4L SW33PS. 1'M NOT W34R1NG TH4T STUP1D ROCK3TP4CK FOR 4NOTH3R S3COND. 

June: hm. alright. well, then.  
June: what if... i... carry you? or you can ride on my back?

Terezi practically jumps at the thought. The prospect of spending any amount of time touching June makes her have to rein herself in to keep from seeming overexcited. 

Terezi: L1K3 1N "4 YOUNG TROLL BOY D1COV3RS 4 STORYBOOK W1TH1N WH1CH TH3R3 1S 4 WORLD H3 L34RNS 1T 1S H1S D3ST1NY TO S4V3 WH1L3 W1TH1N TH1S STORYBOOK 4NOTH3R YOUNG H3RO 3MB4RKS ON H1S OWN QU3ST TO R3SCUE H1S WORLD?"

June: "the neverending story?"  
June: wow i would think that would have a longer name than that. that's pretty short for a troll movie. 

Terezi: 1T'S 4N OLD3R ON3. 

June: well, if you mean that i will be a cool fucking dragon, then yes, it will be exactly like that!

Terezi: JOHN. YOU H4V3 NO 1D34 HOW HOT 1T IS TH4T YOU S41D TH4T TH1NG YOU S41D JUST NOW. 

Terezi feigns wiping tears of joy from her eyes, while June is taken aback by the flutters she feels when Terezi says her old name. Both a flutter of excitement at her statement, and a flutter of discomfort at hearing the voice of the woman she loves calling her something she no longer considers to be a part of her. 

June: well, then, hop on. and try to keep it in your pants. 

June brushes away the fluttering in her stomach with a deep breath, and stoops enough that Terezi can clamber up onto her back. She holds out her hands to pull Terezi's legs up onto either side of her torso and help guide the blind girl to a comfortable position. When Terezi is situated, she wraps her arms around June's neck and locks her ankles at her waist. She holds tight, the warmth of her legs and the soft skin of her arms on June's collarbone almost make her explode. The pit of her stomach is filled with a million, tiny whirlwinds. Terezi's feels much the same, and she acts quickly to cut the tension and keep herself from digging into her own mind about what she' feeling. As June hefts her up to sit squarely, she wipes her tongue across June's ear with a laugh. 

Terezi: G1DDY UP, OH TRUSTY ST33D.

June's laughter wraps itself around Terezi just as Terezi's arms are wrapped around June. She kicks off into the skies of Earth C. 

June: god, you are so fucking weird.  
June: i missed you. 

Terezi's arms hold tighter to her neck. She looks over her shoulder and watches the wind whipping Terezi's hair around her head, and the wide -- but most importantly, totally real -- smile she wears as they break through the clouds. Her red glasses gleam dark in the moonlight, and it strikes June as kind of cute the way that her nostrils flare out as she sniffs the air, trying to take in as much of the night as she can. 

Her heart soars as high as they're flying to see her so happy, especially after what just happened. She just hopes she can be enough to get her mind off of it. And that Terezi takes what she has to tell her well. She can't imagine that she wouldn't. 

Terezi is awash in the colors of the night, and she can hardly keep it all straight as they race over the neighborhoods and landscape of Earth C far beneath them. The night sky is painted around her in the rich darkness of blues and blacks, but she clings to the brighter shade carrying her through the clouds. 

Both girls are happier than either of them has been since that day, all those years ago, that they last parted ways. And at least for the length of their flight, they lose sight of the worries that have been plaguing them for at least that long, and longer.


	10. Chapter 10

When the pair sets down on the ground once more, Terezi is greeted to something she didn't quite expect. Stretched out before them is a smell that swirls around her head crisp and clear, wholly invigorating. Deep colors, not unlike the night sky above them, but somehow smoother and more fluid reach her nostrils. The blackberry tart flavor of the body of water under the starlight stretches out in front of her and a single dollop of white cream is Earth C's moon reflected in its surface. 

Terezi: WOW, D1D W3 GO 4LL TH3 W4Y TO TH3 OC34N?

June: haha, no. it's a lake.  
June: me and dave found it the other week and i have been coming back most days since.  
June: it's kind of gorgeous? and the air is so clean here i thought you would be able to smell it all really clearly. 

Terezi: SM4RT TH1NK1NG, 3GB3RT. 4ND THOUGHTFUL.

June: is there any other kind of thinking?

Terezi: 1'V3 M3T MY SH4R3 OF THOUGHTL3SS 4SSHOL3S 1N MY D4Y.  
Terezi: N3V3R YOU, THOUGH. 

June settles into the grass beside the lake, letting Terezi climb off of her back and into the blend of silt and rocks leading down to the water. She strolls down to the edge of it and stands, barefoot toes wiggling in the cold pool and blind eyes looking out over a still surface. She looks back over her shoulder at June and her hair falls over her it. It's significantly longer than it was when June last saw her, and the features on her face more defined. Older. She really was out there looking for her for years, wasn't she? 

Terezi waves for her to join her in the water. June slips the yellow slippers of her godhood off and steps in beside her. Both girls stand up to their ankles in the shimmer and the sand, watching (or smelling) the subtle shifting of the waters moving back and forth. The gentle circles spilling out across its thin veneer as fish break the surface. They don't speak and in the quiet of the night the only sounds they hear are the distant chirping of crickets and the sound of their own breathing alternating in the night. 

After a few moments of enjoying the still and quiet, June clears her throat. 

June: hey, so...  
June: i'm glad that you're back.  
June: remember how i said that we have a lot to catch up on?

Terezi stands, unmoving, nose tilted up just slightly to get a better sniff of the lake. 

Terezi: Y34H.

June: well...  
June: i kind of meant that in a major way.  
June: i have had a lot of time to think about some things in the last few years. 

Terezi: YOU 4R3N'T TH3 ONLY ON3. 

June: yeah, i can tell.  
June: i do not really know what you went through out there.... but i'd like to!  
June: i can't really do that without filling you in on what's been going on with me, though, i guess... i am finding it very difficult to do basically anything else until i do. so i'd like to be able to connect better and stuff, now that you're back and all.  
June: but this is kind of nerve wracking. i am becoming a bit of a pro at it i guess, though. so, here goes nothing.

Terezi doesn't turn her head in her direction and she wonders if she can still form a picture of her there at her side, facing forward all stoically like she is. 

June: after several years of the worst kind of introspection and isolation.  
June: and contemplation.  
June: i've come to a conclusion. about me, i mean.  
June: who i am. 

Terezi continues to make no movement, and give no indication that that she's listening save for one audible sniff that shows she's at least still alive. 

June: i...  
June: am a girl.  
June: not john. not a boy. i never was, never will be. probably. who knows, the future is pretty wild.  
June: but i know i'm not now.  
June: so.  
June: yeah. 

June shrugs and Terezi stares straight ahead, red glasses hiding her eyes and a mask of quiet calm hiding her expression. 

Then, she laughs. 

Terezi: H3H.

June: heh?

Terezi: H3H3H3  
Terezi: H3H3H3H3!  
Terezi: H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4!

June: okay, well, i can't say i was expecting that reaction per se. 

Terezi: H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4!!!

Terezi's laugh echoes out across the rippling of the water and tears its way through the night. A swan on the other side of the water takes flight in fright and honks at the noise of it. She doubles over and clutches her stomach, still cackling. 

June: are you about done?

Terezi: H4H4H4H NO H4H4H4H4H4H4!

She keeps laughing while June stands awkwardly at her side. She collapses to her knees, splashing June and making her flinch back. Her laughs quiet while June wrings out the hem of her godhood's shirt. Her laughing turns to soft sobs and her breath quickly grows shaky. Teal teardrops mingle with the water pooled around her quaking knees. 

June drops to her side, starts to put her arms around her, and stops herself. Her arms hang like awkward scarecrow limbs in midair, unsure of what to do. 

June: uh........  
June: are you alright? i did not mean to make you sad, i....

Terezi: NO!

Terezi splashes a wave of water at June's head, which she barely ducks backwards in time to avoid. 

Terezi: 1'M NOT CRY1NG 4BOUT YOU, DUMMY.  
Terezi: 1'M H4PPY FOR YOU, DUH! 1T'S JUST...

She brushes her hair away from where its overlong, unkempt locks cling to teal stained cheeks. June can't help but notice how much the sad, shaking girl's hair is almost starting to look a lot like Vriska's. 

Terezi: 1'V3 SP3NT TH3 L4ST SW33P TH1NK1NG 4 LOT. W1LD, FOR M3, 1 KNOW.  
Terezi: FOR 4 LONG T1M3, 1 THOUGHT 1 H4D R34L1Z3D SOM3TH1NG 4BOUT MYS3LF, TOO. TH4T 1 W4S OV3R M3N. OR N3V3R R34LLY L1K3D TH3M 1N TH3 F1RST PL4C3. 

June's arms come to rest on her knees, her hands dropping into the water. Terezi's tears swirl around her wrists, streaks of brighter color in the dark water of the lake, baptizing her in her friend's emotions. 

Terezi: D4V3 T4LK3D 4 LOT 4BOUT COMPULSORY H3T3ROS3XU4L1TY WH3N H3 W4S F1GUR1NG H1S OWN SH1T OUT ON TH3 M3T3OR. W3 -- TROLLS, 1 M34N -- DON'T R34LLY H4V3 4 S1M1L4R CONC3PT. 

She sniffs loudly, to clear her nose more than to take in any of her surroundings, and then wipes her arm across her face to clean it of the snot dripping over her lips. 

Terezi: BUT 1 UND3RSTOOD 1T. 4ND TH3N WH3N 1 TOOK OFF LOOK1NG FOR H3R, 1 H4D 4LL OF TH3S3 THOUGHTS 1N MY P4N 4BOUT WH4T QU4DR4NT W3'D F1T 1NTO, 4ND HOW OF COURS3 1T W4S ONLY 3V3R R34LLY H3R 4LL 4LONG, 4ND M4YB3 W3 D1DN'T 3V3N N33D QU4DR4NTS. M4YB3 W3 COULD JUST... B3. 

She throws her head back and her hair falls away from her face. June just barely sees her red eyes on the periphery of her glasses and she wants so desperately to wipe the tears away from them. 

Terezi: BUT TH3N...

Terezi finally turns her face toward June's. She raises one hand slowly and rests it on her cheek. She runs a thumb over June's jawline and just the touch of it, soft and slow, sends June's head spinning. The lake disappears, and suddenly the only thing in the world is that small, almost insignificant point of contact. 

Terezi: YOU K3PT T4LK1NG TO M3. 4ND SH3 K3PT B31NG NOWH3R3.  
Terezi: 4ND 1 GOT TO TH1NK1NG TH4T M4YB3 1 W4S WRONG 4ND 1 H4D M4D3 4 STUP1D CHO1C3. TH4T 1 D1DN'T KNOW MYS3LF 4 W3LL 4S 1 THOUGHT 1 D1D.  
Terezi: C4US3 TH3R3 1 W4S, ST1LL CH4S1NG H3R DOWN WH1L3 ST4RT1NG TO W1SH 1 H4D ST4Y3D W1TH YOU. 

Her hand falls back to her side with a splash and leaves June's cheek alone again. 

Terezi: TH3R3'S SOM3TH1NG 1 H4V3N'T TOLD YOU, TOO, JOHN.

June has been taking all of it in, afraid to say anything or to interrupt, but now Terezi pauses for a beat for her to respond. 

June: it's june.

Terezi: OH. SORRY. 

June: it's okay. what is it? the thing, i mean. 

Terezi: 1 R3M3MB3R. 3V3RYTH1NG. 

June: what do you mean?

Terezi: 3V3RYTH1NG! 3V3RYTH1NG TH4T W3 D1D! B3FOR3 YOU CH4NG3D 3V3RYTH1NG. B3FOR3 YOU F1X3D MY M1ST4K3, C4US3 1 COULDN'T. 

June: oh.  
June: is that... a seer thing?

Terezi laughs again, and this time it rings hollow, almost bitter. 

Terezi: 1 DON'T KNOW. PROB4BLY. 1T DO3SN'T M4TT3R.  
Terezi: MY PO1NT 1S, 1 R3M3MB3R YOU. TH3 R34L YOU, NOT TH3 H4LF OF YOU TH4T 4LL OF TH3S3 OTH3R DOP3S KNOW. 4ND TH4T'S 4LL 1 COULD TH1NK 4BOUT OUT TH3R3, 4FT3R 4 WH1L3. TH3 LONG3R 1 LOOK3D 4ND FOUND NOTH1NG, TH3 L3SS 1 THOUGHT 4BOUT H3R 4ND TH3 MOR3 1 THOUGHT 4BOUT US. 4BOUT YOU. W3 M4K3 4 GOOD T34M, JUN3. 

The moment that she says her name, June can't take it any more. Pure instinct overtakes her and she reaches out, taking Terezi's face in her hands. She kisses her. 

Both of them sink into it, and Terezi returns the gesture with fervor. Her hands grab at June's cheeks, desperate to pull her face closer and fall even deeper into the kiss. Her sharp teeth scrape against June's lips, and she doesn't care at all. 

When they break from one another and Terezi pulls away, she giggles, her laugh lower and more quiet than June has ever heard it before. 

Terezi: 1 W4S T4LK1NG, J4CK4SS. 

June's head swims in a stupor and she can't take her eyes off of the troll in front of her, tear stained and grinning, her cheeks flush with teal blue. 

June: sorry. please, continue. 

Terezi: 4S 1 W4S S4Y1NG, B3FOR3 1 W4S SO RUD3LY 4ND D3L1C1OUSLY 1NTERRUPT3D.

Her face lingers next to June's, her breath warm on June's cheek and her voice dripping with whispered honey. 

Terezi: W3 M4K3 4 GOOD T34M. 4S 3VID3NC3D JUST NOW.  
Terezi: BUT SO DO SH3 4ND 1. 4ND WH3N 1 N33D3D H3R MOST, SH3 L3FT. 4ND 1 JUST COULDN'T SH4K3 TH3 THOUGHT TH4T 1T W4S SOM3HOW MY F4ULT.  
Terezi: BUT YOU D1DN'T L34V3.  
Terezi: YOU H3LP3D. YOU W3R3 TH3R3 FOR M3. 1 KNOW YOU D1D 1T TO H3LP 3V3RYON3, C4US3 TH4T'S JUST WHO YOU 4R3, GOODY FUCK1NG TWO SHO3S TO TH3 3ND. BUT...  
Terezi: 1T H3LP3D M3 TH3 MOST. 4ND 1 D1DN'T R3M3MB3R 1N T1M3 TO PROP3RLY TH4NK YOU, 4ND BY TH3 T1M3 1 D1D 1 W4S TOO WR4PP3D UP TH1NK1NG 4BOUT H3R TO S4Y 4NYTH1NG.  
Terezi: SO, TH4NK YOU.

June: don't worry about it. like you said, i did it for everybody. but honestly, there's a part of me that was pretty selfish about it, i think? subconsciously, i mean. 

June pushes back out of the water and slides herself onto the lake shore. Terezi hears her sloshing around, sniffs out her movements, and follows. 

They sit on the silt and rocks, clothes soaked through and their sides pressed up against one another. Through the cold of their wet clothes, Terezi's body heat reaches June and melts her heart. 

Terezi: WH4T?

June: like, i needed to fix what had happened. to make it go better, save our friends and everything. but i think i was also kind of using it to run? like if i did exactly what you said, maybe things would change enough that i would not have to confront a lot of things i was already starting to feel.  
June: like how i was feeling about you.  
June: and it kind of worked! you came back with vriska, and for the few moments i saw you guys together, it looked like the two of you were closer than ever.  
June: so when we were talking all of those years since then, i guess... i don't know. it started to feel like my feelings had not really changed like i hoped they would.

Terezi hesitates a moment, and then sets her head down on June's shoulder, careful that her horns don't scratch at her. June wraps her arms around her knees and squeezes tightly, trying to rein in her excitement at their conversation as much as her anxiety at sharing all of this so suddenly. 

Terezi: 1'M GL4D TH3Y D1DN'T. 

June: me too. 

Terezi: 4ND 1'M GL4D YOU TOLD M3. 

June: about my feelings?

Terezi: 4BOUT YOU. TH4T YOU'R3 4 G1RL. 1T M4K3S 4 LOT OF S3NS3. 

June: funny, jade said the same thing.

Terezi: SH3'S R1GHT. 4ND 1T PUTS MY M1ND 4T 34S3, 1'V3 GOTT4 4DM1T. 

June: why?

Terezi: 1T M34NS 1 W4SN'T WRONG 4BOUT M3. 1 R34LLY DON'T L1K3 TH3 DUD3S. 

June: so then.  
June: can i take that statement and basically everything about this entire conversation as proof that you do like me?

Terezi elbows her in the ribs hard enough that it hurts and she flinches back a little. 

Terezi: W3R3 MY 1NCR3D1BL3 K1SS1NG SK1LLS NOT 3NOUGH TO CONV1NC3 YOU OF MY AFF3CT1ONS?

June: i do not know...

June draws out her statement, long and singsong, to make her coyness clear. 

June: i still feel like i could be convinced. 

Terezi pushes her back against the dirt and sand of the lake shore a little more roughly than June would have expected, but not so roughly that she doesn't like it. She climbs on top of her, pinning her to the ground, her wet knees tight on either side of her stomach. 

Terezi: OH, 1S TH4T SO?

She leans over her, her crotch warm against June's belly. The heat of it stirs the butterflies fluttering around inside. 

Terezi's hair falls around their heads like curtains as she holds her face just above June's. She grinds her hips against her, and her breath is warm against June's cheeks. Through two layers of fabric, she feels something shifting in Terezi's pants and she doesn't know nearly enough about troll anatomy to guess at what it might be. 

When Terezi's lips meet hers again, the troll's head is ringed by moonlight and the dark clouds of the night sky, crowning her like an empress begging for June to bow and worship her. Her tongue finds its way between June's lips and the scent of her -- sharp, a little unclean, but so wholly her -- fills up the air around their heads. 

June has no idea how long they spend lying there, Terezi perched atop her, their lips parting and coming together again, over and over like the gentle lapping of the lake's water against the serenity of the shore as June's wind kicks up a current across the water behind them. When Terezi pulls away enough that she can see behind her, the clouds have shifted and the moon has inched across the sky to a better vantage point from which to spy on the lovers beneath its light. 

Terezi arches her back and blends into the darkness of the sky. 

Terezi: HOW 1S TH4T FOR CONV1NC1NG?

June: pretty damn good. 

Terezi grabs at the collar of her godhood and pulls June upward. In one swift motion she rolls off of June, lies down on her back, and pulls her on top of her, entirely switching their positions. As she does, she grins her needlepoint grin. 

Terezi: BUT NOW 1 H4V3 TO WOND3R.  
Terezi: 4M 1 CONV1NC3D TH4T YOU R3TURN MY OH SO R3D F33L1NGS?  
Terezi: 1 KNOW YOU DON'T R3M3MB3R TH3 S4M3 W4Y 1 DO, JUN3, BUT 1 H4V3 K1LL3D YOU, YOU KNOW. 

June: i am not the first person you've kissed that you could say that about. 

Terezi freezes beneath her and for a moment, she thinks that she might have just fucked everything up. That she shouldn't have even alluded to Vriska, especially not like that. But Terezi's laugh and the way she grabs June's shoulders to pull her closer to her lips again washes away that fear. 

Terezi: NO, YOU 4R3N'T. COM3 H3R3. 

Her fingers tangle themselves up in June's hair and pull her head the last few inches to reach her lips. They brush together once more, and again they lose uncounted minutes to each other's embrace. The heat of it wells up in June's stomach as her hands wind their way around Terezi's body, taking in every soft and smooth inch of her deep, grey skin. As one hand squeezes at her hip, her other hand's finger's fall on the button of Terezi's jeans. She stops a moment, and pulls away from their kiss. 

June: is... is this alright?

Terezi: 1T'S SO 4LR1GHT, YOU H4V3 NO FUCK1NG 1D34.

June: i mean, i think i do. 

Terezi grabs June's hand with her own and presses it against the button. June takes the hint and fumbles to unfasten it. 

Terezi: JUST TOUCH M3, 3GB3RT. 

The button comes undone with a quiet, metallic jangle and as June slips back into kissing Terezi, her hand slips down into the warmth of Terezi's underwear, feeling her in ways she never thought she would. 

They feel each other, and feel with each other, and a blend of blues, blacks, moans, and pleasure that is brand new to both girls paints the night around them.


	11. Chapter 11

There's a shimmer of pale, orange light skirting the edge of the mountaintops and shining just enough light over the valley that June can make out Terezi's features. It glints off of the corners of her glasses, casting a glare over Terezi's eyes that obscures them. Terezi is on one side, leaning on her elbow. Her hair is a mess, her clothes are disheveled, and her arm is draped atop the hip of the girl lying across from her. 

June mirrors her, leaning up and looking deeply into the bright red glint of her glasses. Her own arm is tucked against Terezi's neck, her fingers curling around Terezi's tangled hair absentmindedly. Her neck carries the last remaining evidence of their intimate night, where a few sharp points of red mark the moments when Terezi got a little carried away and her teeth struck against June's skin. 

Their voices are soft, each word a lullaby that draws the other into the comfort of their presence as if rocking them to a waking sleep. Peaceful and passionate, all at once. 

Terezi: H3 H4S NO 1D34 HOW MUCH 1'V3 B34T3N MYS3LF UP FOR CHOOS1NG TO COM3 B4CK. BUT WH4T DO3S H3 3XP3CT M3 TO DO?  
Terezi: 1'M NO GOOD TO 4NYON3 D34D. L34ST OF 4LL H3R. OR YOU. 

Her fingers hold tight to June's hip when she says this. 

June: i know. i don't blame you. but...  
June: can we talk about something else? besides vriska and karkat, i mean.

Terezi: GOD, 1'V3 B33N HOGG1NG TH3 CONV3RS4T1ON W1TH MY OWN PROBL3MS. SORRY.

June: you're good. it is just that the sun is rising right now and we are going to miss it if we're paying more attention to friends who are not even here than the sky.

Terezi turns her nose up and sniffs around until she catches the direction of the sun. She turns her head to face it and her previously melancholic expression shifts into a slight smile. 

Terezi: 1T DO3S T4ST3 L1K3 BUTT3RSCOTCH.

June: just wait, it gets better.

Terezi scoots over across the gap to sidle up next to June and put her head on her chest. They wrap their arms around each other and become a tangle of love and limbs as the sun crests over the mountains and sheds its golden light across their peaks. 

Terezi holds her face towards it and basks in the warmth. 

Terezi: 4ND 1T F33LS L1K3 H34V3N. 4LMOST L1K3 SK414, BUT W4RM3R. CLOS3R. 3V3N WH3N YOU'R3 INSID3 SK414 1T DO3SN'T F33L L1K3 TH1S. 

They sit together in silence as the sun rises higher and higher in the sky. The warm colors of its rays diffusing through the atmosphere, shifting into cooler tones and blending into the blue of the morning sky, leaving Terezi enraptured. 

Terezi: OR4NG3 CR34MS1CL3S!

She slaps June's chest. 

June: ow! what?

Terezi: 1T SM3LLS D1FF3R3NT NOW! L1K3 OR4NG3 CR34MS1CL3S! 1 FUCK1NG LOV3 OR4NG3 CR34MS1CL3S! 

June: not cherry creamsicles?

Terezi: TH3R3'S NO SUCH TH1NG 4S CH3RRY CR34MS1CL3S, JUN3. DON'T G3T 4 G1RL'S HOP3S UP. 

June: speaking of getting a girl's hopes up.  
June: should we talk about, you know, what all of this means?

Terezi gets very quiet, very quickly. 

Terezi: 4S 1N YOU TH1NK TH4T TH1S N3C3SS1T4T3S 4N "US" T4LK?

June: i mean, yeah. doesn't it?

Terezi: M4YB3.

She stares ahead at the sun, now high in the sky and casting orange shadows on her cheeks through her shades. 

Terezi: H3Y, SO. TH3 WHOL3 G1RL TH1NG.

June: uh, yeah?

Terezi: FORG1V3 MY G4P 1N CULTUR4L KNOWL3DG3, BUT 1S TH1S 4 B1G TH1NG FOR YOU? HUM4NS?

June: kind of, yeah. maybe not as much for people on earth c as it was back home, but... yeah.  
June: i am not exactly from earth c, so it is a big deal for me. 

Terezi: HM.

June: why? what does that matter to the "us" subject at hand?

Terezi: 1 GU3SS 1'M JUST WORR13D 4BOUT T1M1NG. 1F YOU'R3 COM1NG OUT TO P3OPL3, 4ND TH1S 1S W31RD FOR YOU OR FOR TH3M, DO YOU W4NT TO 4LSO B3 D34L1NG W1TH 4 N3W R3L4T1ONSH1P? 4ND T3LL1NG P3OPL3 4BOUT 1T? 

June: well, yeah...  
June: if it's with you, i mean. 

Terezi throws her head back and groans. 

Terezi: UGH YOU'R3 SUCH 4 FUCK1NG SW33TH34RT.

June: that is a problem because...?

Terezi: 1T 1SN'T. 1 K1ND4 L1K3 1T. 

June: good. i'm not gonna stop being a sweetheart on your account. 

Terezi: YOU B3TT3R FUCK1NG NOT.  
Terezi: WH4T WOULD W3 3V3N C4LL OURS3LV3S? M4T3SPR1TS?

June: that does not make me very comfortable. i'm not a troll.  
June: what about girlfriends? that's nice and neutral. we're both girls. we are both friends. 

Terezi: *TH4T* DO3SN'T M4K3 M3 V3RY COMFORT4BL3, 31TH3R. 1'M NOT HUM4N. 

June shrugs. 

June: dave and karkat say they're boyfriends. 

Terezi: 1'M NOT K4RK4T 31TH3R.

June: thank god. 

Terezi chuckles and squeezes June around the torso in a tight hug.

Terezi: WHY C4N'T W3 JUST B3 US?

June: june and terezi?

Terezi: JUN3 4ND T3R3Z1.  
Terezi: OR T3R3Z1 4ND JUN3. 

June: i do like how that sounds. 

Terezi: M3 TOO.

She stretches up and kisses June's cheek. Her lips are the softest thing she has ever felt, and she can't help but turn and kiss her back. 

Terezi: SO, TH3N, HOW 4R3 YOU GONN4 T3LL 3V3RYON3 3LS3?

June: you mean how are we gonna tell everybody?

Terezi: NO, HOW 4R3 YOU GO1NG TO T3LL 3V3RYBODY 3LS3 4BOUT YOU?  
Terezi: WHO YOU 4R3. 1 DON'T W4NN4 GO 4ROUND T3LL1NG 3V3RYON3 1'M S331NG 4 G1RL 4ND H4V3 TH3M TH1NK 1'M LY1NG. OR WORS3, TH4T TH1S 1S 4 BL4CKROM TH1NG, 4ND 1'V3 GOT SOM3 S3CR3T M4T3SPR1T RUNN1NG 4ROUND. 

June: oh.

June clams up. Her hands sweat, and she wants to both fly away and bury herself in the ground at the same time. This whole conversation, everything the previous night, it's all been a welcome reprieve from having to think about anything like this. 

June: well.  
June: i suppose i have already told most of the people who really matter. everybody who is both here and also not dead. 

Terezi: SH3 WOULD H4V3 L1K3D TO KNOW. 1F SH3 W4S H3R3. 

June doesn't know what to say to this. She didn't even know that Vriska is trans until Karkat mentioned it very briefly in a single rant a few years ago. 

June: yeah?

Terezi: Y34H. SH3 LOOKS UP TO YOU, 1N 4 W31RD W4Y. 3V3N WH3N SH3 1S BOTH L1T3R4LLY 4ND V3RB4LLY LOOK1NG DOWN ON YOU.  
Terezi: 1F SH3 KN3W TH4T YOU'R3, YOU KNOW... L1K3 H3R. 1 TH1NK 1T WOULD M4K3 H3R H4PPY. 

June: hm.

She stares across the lake towards the ever brightening horizon. The ripples across the surface catch her eye and draw her thoughts to her own powers. To the ripples and the shifts in the very fabric of narrative that she controls. She wonders if it works like the water. If the changes she makes ripple out in ways she doesn't even see, all around, and then leave a stillness in their wake. 

Is that why Terezi had her leave all of those cryptic messages and make those little changes when they had worked together to save Vriska? Was she not fucking with her, after all?

June: what was it like on alternia? being trans, i mean. not just for her, but for everyone. 

Terezi: 34S13R TH3N B31NG 4 LOT OF TH1NGS, TH4T'S FOR SUR3. 4LT3RN14 C4R3D MOR3 4BOUT YOUR BLOOD TH4N YOUR G3ND3R.  
Terezi: NOT TH4T TH3R3 W3R3N'T 4 F3W 4SSHOL3S WHO C4R3D. BUT TH3Y W3R3 R4R3, 4ND USU4LLY TH3Y W3R3 4SSHOL3S 4BOUT 3V3RYTH1NG, NOT JUST TH4T. 

June: i mean, it is kind of that way for humans, too. if someone hates someone like me and vriska, they probably hate a lot of different types of people. 

Terezi: W31RDLY 3NOUGH THOUGH, 3V3N THOS3 4SSHOL3S ON 4LT3RN14 W3R3N'T 4S V1OL3NT 4S TH3 ON3S ON 34RTH. FROM WH4T 1 H34R, 4T L34ST.  
Terezi: TH3R3 W3R3 4 LOT OF W4YS TO G3T YOUR 4SS CULL3D ON 4LT3RN14, BUT TH4T W4SN'T ON3 OF TH3M. 

June: i guess vriska should count herself lucky, then. i was not super clued in to this kind of thing on earth, but from what i did see, it seemed really sad. 

Terezi: 1'M SUR3 1T W4S, 1N SOM3 W4YS. BUT 1 H4PP3N TO TH1NK 1T'S B34UT1FUL NOW, 4ND 1'M H3R3 4ND YOUR 34RTH 1SN'T SO WHO W1NS TH4T ROUND?  
Terezi: KNOW1NG YOURS3LF W3LL 3NOUGH TO F1GUR3 SOM3TH1NG L1K3 TH4T OUT R3QU1R3S W4Y MOR3 GUTS TH4N JUST K1LL1NG P3OPL3.  
Terezi: 1'M SUR3 TH3R3 W3R3 L1K3M1ND3D DOP3S TH3R3 WHO F3LT TH3 S4M3, NOT JUST TH3 4SSHOL3S. 

June's thoughts turn again at the mention of people from Earth. Her Earth. She wonders if there's anybody she knew back then who would think poorly of her. She supposes that most of the people she knew enough to speak to are with her now. Rose, Dave, and Jade. Even the ever-badgering trolls of her childhood, one of whom she can still taste lingering on her lips. 

There is one person missing, though, she realizes with a wistful twist in her heart. 

Her dad. 

June: i'm sure there were........  
June: ........

Terezi: H3Y.

Terezi grabs her knee and gives it a shake to get her attention.

June: hm?

Terezi: YOU'R3 G3TT1NG 4LL QU13T 4ND ST4R1NG 1NTO TH3 M1DDL3 D1ST4NC3 L1K3 4 DW33B. 

June: oh, sorry. i'm not trying to get weird or anything. 

Terezi: 1 L1K3 W31RD, YOU KNOW TH1S. 

June: heh, yeah, i guess you are like the one person i shouldn't have to feel embarrassed around, huh.  
June: it's just...  
June: ugh, no it's stupid.

Terezi: OH, SHUT UP.  
Terezi: W3 4R3 SW33PS P4ST 4NYTH1NG B31NG STUP1D. 

June pulls her knees up to her chest and sets her chin down between them. Terezi brushes her hair back out of her face to get a better sniff at her, brushing black locks back and tucking them behind her ear. 

June: i'm just thinking about my dad, all of a sudden.

Terezi: YOUR LUSUS?

June: well, i mean, no. my dad. i didn't exactly get a chance to tell him about all of this. and now he's been dead for years. 

Terezi: HM. Y34H. LOS1NG YOUR LUSUS SUCKS PR3TTY H4RD. 1'V3 B33N TH3R3.  
Terezi: 1'M SORRY.

June: it's fine. really, it is.  
June: i got over it a long time ago. but now...  
June: i do not know. i'm just sitting here thinking and it's like... well, it's almost like he died without ever getting to meet me? it sounds silly, but i almost feel like an orphan. like the kind who never got to know their parent, like roxy or dirk.  
June: but it is worse, because he's here! in a way, anyway. jane's dad. but that is her dad, not mine. he looks just like him, and acts just like him, but that isn't him. and what's worse is that every time he looks at me, i know he's just seeing his own dad. and that makes it kind of super weird.  
June: he's here, and my dad died, and i don't even have his body to give him a burial or anything because it got destroyed and erased from paradox space when i jammed a needle into a giant fucking record. 

Terezi puts both of her arms around June and pulls on the shirt of her godhood, holding tightly to her side. She reaches up and brushes budding tears away from June's eyes. 

June: i just wish i could have told him, is all. i wish i had known. 

They sit by the water for some time, in silence. Morning birds light on the surface and call out to their mates perched in the trees dotting the valley. June's mind is blank, her stomach is heavy, and her shoulder is warmed by the soft press of Terezi's cheek. Her fingers find Terezi's and hold onto her in the quiet and the peace. A few moments later, that peace is broken by Terezi's head shooting up from its resting place on her shoulder. 

Terezi: YOU KNOW...

June: i guess i know a lot of things, but what in particular are you about to say that i know?

Terezi: YOU COULD ST1LL T3LL H1M.

June: who? my dad? 

Terezi: Y34H. 1T M1GHT NOT B3 TOO L4T3. 

June: um.  
June: he is dead. hence all the sad. 

Terezi gives her a sly look, her mouth cracking open into a devious, gremlin grin. 

Terezi: SO W4S VR1SK4. 

June squints at her, puzzling out what she's saying. 

June: oh....  
June: oh!  
June: you are not suggesting...

Terezi: 1 4M SUGG3ST1NG. STRONGLY SUGG3ST1NG.

June: but that could change, well... everything. 

Terezi: Y34H, 4ND? 1F 1T M4K3S YOU H4PPY, 1F 1T F1X3S TH1NGS, WHY DO3S 1T M4TT3R? 1T W1LL CH4NG3 FOR TH3 B3TT3R. 

June: is that what you were thinking when you had me save her?

Terezi: K1ND OF.  
Terezi: L1ST3N. 1T WOULDN'T B3 D1FF1CULT. JUST L1K3 W3 D1D B3FOR3. W3 GO B4CK, W3 M4K3 SUR3 W3 S3T SOM3 TH1NGS UP SO TH4T NOTH1NG CH4NG3S FOR THE WORS3. 1 C4N F1X SOM3 TH1NGS. YOU C4N T3LL YOUR D4D YOU'R3 4 G1RL. 4ND 3V3RYON3 3LS3 TOO.  
Terezi: YOU C4N 3V3N B3 YOU FROM TH3 MOM3NT W3 M33T.

June: i gotta admit, it does sound pretty tempting. 

June thinks back on everything they changed before. What the effects might have been, and why Terezi had her do exactly like she did. 

June: hey. when we did that the first time, you had me write something for you to read. remember?

Terezi: 1 R3M3MB3R 3V3RYTH1NG, R3M3MB3R?

June: yeah, smartass, i know. so you remember what i wrote.  
June: what exactly did it mean?

Terezi: 3X4CTLY WH4T 1 S41D. 1 DON'T N33D H1M. TH3 H1M 1N QU3ST1ON B31NG TH3 CONC3PT OF H1M, OBV1OUSLY.  
TerezI: 1 W4SN'T T4LK1NG 4BOUT YOU 1N P4RT1CUL4R, THOUGH 1 D3F1N1T3LY W4S 1NCLUD1NG YOU 1N TH4T NUMB3R 4T TH3 T1ME.  
Terezi: SORRY 4BOUT TH4T, 1 D1DN'T KNOW. 

June: i know, it is fine. i didn't even know. 

Terezi: ST1LL.

There is another beat of silence between them before June speaks up again. 

June: so then, if we are really, truly considering this...  
June: how do we do it? and you said something about you fixing something too?

Terezi: OH, Y34H. 1 M34N, 1F YOU'R3 OK4Y W1TH TH4T. 

June: of course i am. 

She runs her thumb slowly over the back of Terezi's hand wrapped around her arm. 

June: what do you need?

Terezi's sharp teeth gnaw at her bottom lip. 

Terezi: 1, UH...  
Terezi: 1F SH3 ST1LL GO3S...  
Terezi: 4FT3R W3 CH4NG3 TH3 OTH3R TH1NGS, 1 M34N...  
Terezi: 1 W4NT TO M4K3 SUR3 1 DON'T GO LOOK1NG FOR H3R.  
Terezi: 1 W4NT TO B3 H3R3 W1TH YOU. 4ND MY FR13NDS. TH3 P3OPL3 WHO C4R3. 4BOUT M3. 

June: oh.  
June: she cares about you too.  
June: doesn't she? 

Terezi: Y3S? NO? 1 DON'T FUCK1NG KNOW. 1 KNOW TH4T SH3 US3D TO.  
Terezi: BUT TH4T DO3SN'T M4TT3R, B3C4US3 WH3TH3R OR NOT SH3 DO3S, 1 KNOW FOR A F4CT TH4T YOU DO. TH4T DAV3 DO3S. 3V3N K4RK4T 1N H1S SH1TTY W4Y. 1 DON'T H4V3 TO GU3SS OR HOP3 W1TH YOU GUYS.  
Terezi: SH3'LL COM3 B4CK WH3N SH3'S R34DY, 1F SH3'S R34DY. 1 SHOULDN'T BR34K MYS3LF OV3R H3R.  
Terezi: 1 H4D TO L34RN TH4T TH3 H4RD W4Y, M1GHT 4S W3LL S4V3 4LT3RN4T3 M3 TH3 TROUBL3. 

June: i agree, but... you left because you care about her, yeah? isn't that a good reason to go after her still? 

Terezi: SUR3. M4YB3. BUT NOT 1F 1T'S ON3 S1D3D. 

June: you don't know that it is, though...?

Terezi: 1 KNOW 3NOUGH. 1 KNOW TH4T 1 LOV3 *YOU*.

June sits stock still, staring at Terezi and slowly realizing what it is she's just said. Her eyes are wide and unblinking, her breath shaky and quick. Her hand finds its way up Terezi's arm and grips her shoulder. She rests her other hand on Terezi's cheek and pulls her in close.

Her breath sends little cloudy spots of fog over Terezi's glasses as their faces inch closer together. Terezi's deep, red eyes, the same color as her shades, dart around behind them, making little figure eights of anticipation while her fingers clutch at June's sleeves. 

Their lips meet. More slowly, more sensually than they had at all the night before. June is lost in her, blinded by the tongue winding its way between her lips and the thousand tiny pinpricks of her teeth. Terezi is just as lost, swimming in a sea of blue and drunk on how sweet she tastes. The girl whose hands are exploring her features like cartographers, surveying to make a map of her face, is a well of living ambrosia, and Terezi drinks deep.

When they finally pull away from one another, both girls are breathless and delirious, heads spinning and hearts beating wild, disparate rhythms. Terezi's cheeks are warm, flushed teal in June's hands as she breathes out the words she's been longing to say for years. 

June: i love you too. 

Terezi kisses her again, one last, quiet kiss, and then falls into her arms, her breath slowing to a peaceful beat and her eyes fluttering shut. Within seconds of falling asleep, she's snoring loudly, the sound of tearing paper rumbling against June's sternum. 

June shuts her own eyes, the sleep of all that they've done catching up to her, and she can't help but imagine what they talked about and what Terezi proposed. How would she do it, if she does go back and change things again. Would she just give herself a nudge? Would she outright tell herself? God, how weird would it feel to literally come out to herself? Especially to the person she was, ignorant and naive. 

Would she tell her dad, herself? 

No. She would leave that to the younger her. 

The thought of it makes her giddy. The thought of everyone knowing, of doing everything she's ever done without the mask of obliviousness. Doing it all as herself. 

She can't sleep. But she can't exactly move, either, without disturbing the form currently drooling all over her godhood, so she watches the lake as the sun rises higher and higher in the sky. She envisions all the ways her life would be different, if she goes through with Terezi's idea. 

She runs her hands through Terezi's hair, kisses the top of her head, and thanks all of paradox space that she came back. That she's there, with all of her brilliant ideas, and all of her drool.


	12. Chapter 12

When Terezi wakes up, the sun is dipping its way back over the mountaintops on the horizon, casting a soft, cherry blossom pink over the valley. She inhales the evening air, catches the sickly sweet cotton candy scent, and smiles a smile as soft as the shoulder her cheek is resting on. 

June's head is slumped against her own, her fingers lost in the tangle of unkempt black threads. Her eyes are closed, and her breaths come slowly, her chest rising and falling, carrying Terezi up and down with each movement. She lies there in complete and utter bliss for awhile, her thoughts placed firmly in the moment. On herself, and the girl lying beneath her, and the love she feels for her. She sits in the heavy weeds of her mind, until the sun has set entirely and the cherry blossom sky gives way to darkness and stars. A blanket of void is pulled over their heads, and she is taken back to the sweeps she spent in the furthest ring, surrounded by a darkness not unlike the one unfurling over her head. 

Her thoughts to turn her. 

She sits and stews in confused anger at what she might say. About the mockery. The jealousy. The hurt. 

It would hurt her, wouldn't it? Knowing that after all that time, after remaking the universe to be with her, she was just as quickly lying down with the very same girl who helped her do that in the first place? It would. And she wouldn't approve, at least not at first. 

Would she ever even come back to know? 

She misses her. It hurts her just as much as her and June would hurt Vriska to think about, but she does. It isn't the same as the first time around. There's less guilt. Less frustration. It's more solemn, more resigned. 

June is here, Vriska isn't. That's that. Choices were made. And those choices are soon becoming distant memories, replaced by the scent of June's chest and the soft skin of her neck where Terezi's lips land to kiss her. 

She stirs. Her eyes flutter open reveling two beautiful points of the brightest blue. She tastes like heaven. 

June: good morning. 

Terezi: 1T'S N1GHT1M3. 

June: good night, then. 

She closes her eyes and pretends to go back to sleep. Terezi licks her cheek, sending bright teal slobber all over her face and making June break her facade to push her away. 

June: hey! woah!

Terezi cackles and keeps slobbering all over her, holding her down by the shoulders and alternating dragging her tongue with little pecks to her cheeks. 

June: stop! 

She only does so when June retaliates, licking her own face and making Terezi roll backwards off of her in laughter. June pulls the end of her godhood to her face and wipes it clean of slime and spittle. 

Terezi: 1'M GL4D YOU'R3 F1N4LLY 4W4K3, 1'V3 B33N SO BOR3D.  
Terezi: 1 WOULD H4V3 WOK3N YOU UP, BUT YOU'R3 SO FUCK1NG CUT3 WH3N YOU'R3 4SL33P. L1K3 4 L1TTL3 WR1GGL3R 4LL WR4PP3D UP 1N YOUR R3CUP3R4COON. 

June: i will take that as a compliment. 

Terezi: GOOD. 1 M34NT 1T 4S ON3. >:]  
Terezi: SO. NOW TH4T YOU'R3 4LL UP 4ND 4T 3M, D1D YOU G1V3 4NY THOUGHT TO MY SUGG3ST1ON L4ST N1GHT?

June: i did, in fact. 

Terezi: 4ND?

June: and...  
June: i am not sure. it sounds nice and all, but...  
June: i guess my biggest question is, what happens to everyone here? dave and karkat? rose and kanaya? everybody?  
June: will they just be... gone? like as couples?

She twirls the end of her hood around her finger. 

June: will they still be together? cause when we did this before, everything changed. like dave and karkat were not anywhere close to being a thing. 

Terezi: OH, TH3Y W3R3 CLOS3. R34LLY, 1T W4S VR1SK4 G3TT1NG M3 OUT OF TH31R H41R TH4T L3T TH3M G3T OV3R TH3MS3LV3S. 

June: i suppose. 

Terezi: 1 DOUBT TH3Y C4N ST4Y 4W4Y FROM 34CH OTH3R. ON 4 COSM1C L3V3L.  
Terezi: 4ND H3LL, 1F TH3Y DO, 1'M NOT 4BOV3 4 L1TTL3 FURTH3R M3DDL1NG. 

June: well, speaking of, what about all this cosmic destiny stuff? sburb, and earth c, and lord english and all that?

Terezi: 4LL OF TH4T STUFF W1LL ST1LL H4PP3N. M4YB3 NOT 1N TH3 3X4CT S4M3 W4Y, BUT 1T W1LL H4PP3N. 

June: how do you know? 

Terezi: 1'M 4 S33R. 1 KNOW TH1NGS.  
Terezi: 4ND 1 S33 CHO1C3S 4ND TH31R OUTCOM3S MOR3 CL34RLY TH4N 4NYTH1NG 3LS3. SO, 1F TH1S W4S GO1NG TO CH4NG3 TH1NGS FOR TH3 WORS3, 1 WOULD KNOW. 1T'S L1K3 4N 1TCH1NG IN MY H34D. L1K3 SP1D3RS RUNN1NG 4ROUND 1N TH3R3.  
Terezi: 4ND 1'M NOT F33L1NG 4NY SP1D3RS.  
Terezi: BUT 1 PROM1S3 1F 1T LOOKS L1K3 TH1S W1LL SOM3HOW SPL1T UP 4NY OF OUR FR13NDS, 1'LL L3T YOU KNOW. W3 H4V3 ULT1M4T3 CONTROL H3R3. W3 C4N 4LW4YS CH4NG3 1T B4CK. 

June: i guess you're right.  
June: i dunno, i guess i'm just... scared?

Terezi: YOU JUST TOLD M3 ON3 OF TH3 MOST D33PLY P3RSON4L TH1NGS SOM3ON3 C4N POSS1BLY S4Y. FOR 4 HUM4N, 4NYW4Y.  
Terezi: NOT TO M3NT1ON 3V3RYTH1NG 3LS3 W3'V3 B33N THROUGH. 4ND YOU'R3 SC4R3D?  
Terezi: W3'V3 DON3 TH1S B3FOR3. 

June: but that was different! things were drastic, people were dead.  
June: this feels kinda,  
June: selfish. 

Terezi is silent for a moment, thinking of how best to reply. It is selfish. Both for her and for June. But what does it matter? She's past caring, she just wants to be happy. 

Terezi: SO FUCK1NG WH4T?  
Terezi: W3 G1V3, 4ND W3 G1V3, 4ND W3 G1V3. WH4T'S WRONG W1TH B31NG S3LF1SH, JUST ONC3?

June: ...  
June: you promise you'll let me know if we're going to fuck everything up?

Terezi: 1 4LR34DY PROM1S3D, BUT 1'LL PROM1S3 4G41N. 

June stares across the lake and turns it all over in her mind. 

June: could i say goodbye to everyone, first?

Terezi: TH3Y M1GHT TRY TO T4LK US OUT OF 1T, 1F W3 DO. 

June: is it such a good idea, if that's a possibility? like, if we're worried they will convince us otherwise, should we do it in the first place?

Terezi: 1 DUNNO. DO3S 1T M4TT3R?

June: i dunno. 

The lake shifts and the silver of the stars glitter across the surface. The moon sits in the middle of the sky, a distant voyeur, waiting to cast judgement on them. Both of them feel as if they're waiting through eternity for the other to speak up. 

The moon, round and looming and ever so slightly different than it was back in the universe she was born in, strikes her as awfully familiar. The face she used to pick out when she was a girl is not quite the face she sees above her now. It's different. Longer. More like her own. 

It's the face of her father. 

She misses him. A lot. No matter how many times she goes to visit Jane and sees her dad, with the same face, the same hat, the same voice, it just isn't the same. It isn't him. If anything, it's far worse just knowing that the man holding his pipe and reading the paper isn't the same one he watched bleeding out on a checkerboard field on the other side of paradox space. And when he calls Jane "daughter" or "love", it stabs her in the heart. 

It surprises her that she hasn't thought to go back and see him again. Maybe a part of her is scared that it would hurt too much. Or that she would be too tempted to save him somehow and change everything. But now that she's considering exactly that, the thought excites her. 

She would give anything to hear him call her "daughter." To say her name. 

June: you know what?

June breaks the silence. 

June: what the fuck.  
June: let's do it.  
June: let's fucking do it!

Terezi grins and punches June's shoulder much more gently than she normally would have. 

Terezi: H3LL Y34H! 1'M L1K1NG TH1S 3N3RGY, 3GB3RT!

June: let's come out of the god damn closet way earlier than my understanding of myself and my latent fears surrounding concepts of masculinity and femininity would allow the first time around!

Terezi: H3LL Y3S!  
Terezi: H3LL FUCK1NG Y3S!

June floats up into the air above Terezi and her new partner scrambles to her feet to stand with her. Without another word or another thought, June grabs hold of Terezi's shoulders and with a flash of brilliant white light, both of them disappear from the hill beside the lake, leaving only a swan gliding over the water and a glint of starlight in their wake.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took me a bit to get put up here, sorry about that. The holidays really ate up their own time and the beginning of 2020. x.x

With a zap and a flash, June and Terezi appear in the air above June's childhood home. They hang in the air, June floating effortlessly and Terezi clinging to her waist. 

June: it has occurred to me that we have created exactly zero plans about what to do here.  
June: sorry.  
June: i got excited. 

Terezi: OMG YOU'R3 FIN3  
Terezi: JUST S3T M3 DOWN, W3'LL F1GUR3 1T OUT

June drifts down to the ground below and sets Terezi down on the grass beside the swingset that was a joyous staple of her youngest years. She lets go of June's waist and promptly hops onto the nearby pogo ride, leaning casually across the grinning, green form of the slimy ghost. Her hands dangle over its head and her knees grip tight to its side, and it feels a lot like how it felt to cling to June's back, and across her hips, the night before. 

June: if i took us to the right place, or time i guess, my dad should be out christmas shopping. 

Terezi: 4LR1GHT

June: so, he won't be around. we can talk to me one on one. or two on one? i'm not really sure how involved you want to be in this conversation. 

Terezi: TH4T'S UP TO YOU  
Terezi: TH1S 1S YOUR B1G, L1T3R4LLY L1F3 4ND N4RR4T1V3 CH4NG1NG TH1NG NOT M1N3  
Terezi: DO YOU W4NT M3 TH3R3?

June: i do not know. i think i should do it alone. i haven't exactly done something like this before.  
June: well, i did shove myself that one time but that wasn't anything like this.

Terezi: 1 C4N W41T OUT H3R3 4ND YOU C4N G3T M3 1F YOU N33D M3  
Terezi: 1'V3 W4NT3D TO R1D3 TH1S STUP1D SOUR 4PPL3 B34UTY 3V3R S1NC3 1 F1RST L41D MY TONGU3 ON YOUR H1V3  
Terezi: SO 1 W1LL NOT B3 BOR3D 4ND OUR BOUNCY GR33N FR13ND W1LL K33P M3 COMP4NY

June: alright, thanks, i appreciate it.  
June: but be careful, he is not as innocent as he seems.

Terezi: 1'V3 H4NDL3D WORS3 TH4N TH1S TH1NG DON'T WORRY  
Terezi: 4ND YOU DON'T N33D TO F33L L1K3 YOU H4V TO TH4NK M3  
Terezi: TH1S 1S TH3 WHOL3 PO1NT OF TH1S 4FT3R 4LL

Terezi's smile is soft and reassuring. A far cry from the devious smirk she's so used to seeing on her. It almost looks disconcerting, and if this whole situation wasn't so odd and spur of the moment, she might have been worried. But it is, and so she has the feeling that smile is Terezi at her most stripped of edifice. This isn't a time for being disingenuous or for putting on masks.

It occurs to her that she isn't sure if she's ever really seen Terezi without one. 

But if she really is the most herself that June has ever seen her, she's comforted by the thought. Terezi rocks back and forth, cool and collected, calm in the certainty that they're making the right choice. The more it solidifies in her mind that they really are doing this, the more certain she becomes that it's the right thing for her, too. 

June: well, i am going to thank you anyway. 

She sticks her tongue out at her. 

June: so, then, i guess that just leaves one other question.  
June: and it is a big one.  
June: how do i uh... do... this........?  
June: this isn't like coming out to someone else. i am getting pretty good at that. what do i even say?

June shrugs, and as she holds her hands palms up to either side of her shoulders, a snowflake falls into the center of her palm and melts into a puddle. She looks around and in the next few seconds, more and more tiny crystal fractals are drifting around their heads. 

June: oh wait. 

Terezi: WH4T >:?

June: today is that day.

Terezi: WH4T D4Y >:?

June: one of the first few times vriska talked to me. today is the day she told me i would die, and it would be her fault. er her doing? fault is a pretty loaded word. she did not really do anything wrong, i didn't really die. 

Terezi: OH

Terezi's face falls. She tries to hide it, but June has seen behind the mask, and she can tell when Terezi's trying to slip it on. Her eyes turn downwards behind the lenses of her glasses, even though she can't see what they're directed at, and her shoulders slump more than they already were over Slimer's head. 

June: i was wondering why this date was sticking out in my head. i guess she was still on my mind a little bit. and i got very upset over this conversation, i can only imagine it's kind of an anchor point moment in my memory like all of those places i went for you before were. 

Terezi: HM

June: maybe today isn't the best day to drop this on me. should we go back a little further?

Terezi: NO  
Terezi: T4LK TO H3R 4BOUT 1T  
Terezi: YOUNG3R YOU, 1 M34N, NOT TH1S YOU  
Terezi: T3LL H3R TO T4LK TO VR1SK4, TH3N L34V3 4ND L3T H3R F1GUR3 1T OUT ON H3R OWN

June: is vriska really the best person to help me think about this kind of thing...? i know i can't exactly stay and help myself through the whole thing, but i still don't know if i like giving her that much power over me

Terezi: M4YB3  
Terezi: M4YB3 NOT  
Terezi: BUT SH3 L1K3S YOU  
Terezi: 4ND 1F TH3R3'S ON3 TH1NG SH3 WOULD N3V3R VOC4LLY B3R4T3, 1T'S TH1S  
Terezi: SH3'LL H3LP  
Terezi: W1THOUT M3SS1NG UP TH3 N4RR4T1V3 MOR3 TH4N W3 4LR34DY 4R3

Terezi's face is flat and serious. Her red eyes pierce through the snow falling more heavily around them and cut straight to June's heart. She means it, and it's hurting her to say. To give Vriska some reason to bond more with someone else, especially at a time in their histories when the two were so distant from one another. Not unlike how they are, now. 

Guilt clings to her ribs and pulls her inwards. It takes all of her willpower not to shut down when it occurs to her that it's her wanting to be here, her own selfish desire that's accidentally hurt Terezi by dragging her into this, even if it was her idea in the first place. 

But she doesn't disconnect. She doesn't shut down, or fly away, or disappear. If she's going to be here for her, if they're going to be a thing, she has to actually be here. Physically, emotionally, present and aware. She's spent long enough drifting on the breeze alone, and she has someone else along for the ride now. She isn't about to race ahead and leave her behind just so she can sulk. 

June: sorry. if i had realized...

Terezi: 1T'S F1N3, R34LLY  
Terezi: TH1S 1S GOOD FOR T1NY L1TTL3 WR1GGL3R YOU

June: but if it isn't good for you-

Terezi: 1T 1S  
Terezi: 1 C4N'T PR3T3ND SH3 DO3SN'T 3X1ST  
Terezi: NO M4TT3R HOW MUCH SH3 1SN'T 4ROUND 1N OUR FUTUR3, SH3'S P4RT OF 4LL OF OUR P4STS  
Terezi: 4ND 1F SH3 C4N H3LP YOU, WHO 4M 1 TO B3 P1SSY 4ND B1TT3R?  
Terezi: 1 R3M3MB3R WH4T H4PP3NS WH3N 1'M L1K3 TH4T. P3OPL3 D13.  
Terezi: SH3 D13S  
Terezi: 1N SOM3 T1M3L1N3S, YOU D13  
Terezi: SO, FUCK TH4T 4TT1TUD3, 1'LL B3 F1N3

She doesn't smile.

June wonders if she should do something. Hug her, or try to give her some comfort, or just zap them away so that she can do this some other time. She stands still, a statue stark against the form of Terezi rocking back and forth on her childhood toy, as snow piles up around her feet.

Terezi: WH4T 4R3 YOU W41T1NG FOR?  
Terezi: GO T4LK TO H3R  
Terezi: YOU, 1 M34N  
Terezi: 1SN'T YOUR D4D GO1NG TO B3 HOM3 SOON? 

June: yeah.  
June: yeah. i should do this quick. i think i know what i am going to say. 

Terezi: YOU C4N DO TH1S  
Terezi: YOU 4LR34DY C4M3 OUT TO YOURS3LF ONC3, WH4T'S ON3 MOR3 T1M3?

June: haha yeah. i suppose this should be easier, huh?

The tiniest touch of a grin plays across Terezi's face as she sits up a little bit straighter on the pogo ride's back. She hikes her legs up the side and gives June an exaggerated salute.

Terezi: 1 W1LL B3 DUT1FULLY W41T1NG

June returns the salute. 

June: i will be back soon. 

She turns and leaves Terezi to her thoughts and the snow. She wishes she had a jacket or something to give her. Maybe she can steal one from herself. Or something from her dad's closet that he might not miss. 

She tries the front door and finds it locked. She could dissipate into wind and slip right through the cracks, or she could zap straight into her bedroom, but something about that seems wrong. And besides, she knows where the spare key is. 

She lifts up a little, plastic rock beside the door and finds not just a key, but a note as well. She takes both and unfolds the paper curiously. 

"Son,

If you're reading this note, then you have passed an important milestone in your journey into manhood. You have locked yourself out of the house. 

You might see this as a mistake, and it is, but it is also an important lesson. A man makes mistakes, but owns them. And is always prepared to fix them. 

You might not be proud of yourself right now, son. But I'm proud of you.

\- Dad"

June's tears stain the clean typed print of her father's words. She folds it up gently and tucks it back under the rock. She unlocks the door as quietly as she can before slipping the key back under it as well. She wipes her eyes and opens the door of her home, the way it was over a decade ago. 

It's eerie, seeing everything so different and yet startlingly familiar. The couch is younger, cleaner, and a little bit less beat up. The clown paintings adorning the walls are slightly less yellow with age. Most strikingly, her nanna's ashes still hold their place of reverence on the mantel above the fireplace. 

When she can make herself stop staring at the room around and get to the task at hand, she takes the stairs as slowly, softly, and gingerly as possible. She steps over the spot she knows will creak and alert her younger self to her presence. A moment later, she stands in front of her own bedroom door. The same room she still calls her own. 

She lifts a hand, and with a sigh but without any further hesitation, she knocks. 

(June): dad? you're back way earlier than i-

The door swings inward, and the much shorter, much younger version of herself that stands inside freezes, one hand on the door. Her eyes go as wide as they possibly can and her jaw hangs open, putting her full mouth of scraggly teeth on display. 

(June): you are not my dad. 

June smiles down at her, her own toothy grin doing its best to wash away the terror she had been shoving down into the pit of her stomach. 

June: haha, no i am not!  
June: i am you!  
June: dang, i didn't realize until just now how much i've always wanted to say that. 

(June): me?

June: me! 

(June) does not blink. 

(June): john, but old?

June: well, older, sure. and not john.  
June: can i come in? boy, do we have a lot to talk about. no pun intended. 

Her young self's wide, awestruck eyes slowly turn into a wary squint. She doesn't move an inch to let her older self into the room. She looks her older self up and down. 

(June): how do i know you're telling the truth? are you some kind of time traveler? like that doctor who guy rose keeps trying to get me to watch?  
(June): and what are you wearing? is that a cosplay thing?

Her face breaks into a gasp of offended realization.

(June): you are not a clown, are you?

June: uh, no, definitely not a clown.

(June) loses her suspicious glare, and her eyes light up in its place.

(June): then are you... an alien????

June: nope. not an alien. not a clown. not a ghost, either, before you get to that one.  
June: i don't know how much i can tell you about what i am, it is kind of complicated and it might change too much.  
June: but i am you! and i am actually a time traveler! well, kind of. 

(June): from the future.

June: from the future!

(June): then what brings you here?

June: let's just say i want to fill you in on some things about us. super important things. 

(June) steps aside and waves for June to come inside. 

(June): well, if it's so super important that you had to do super important time travel things, please come in and get my dumb ass up to date! 

(June) goes over to the computer and silences the notification chiming over her speakers. June tries to remember who it was she was talking to that morning. It wasn't Vriska, not until later. Maybe Dave? Or Jade? It couldn't have been one of the trolls, she would remember that. 

It hits her, then, that she misses her friends, as she sits down at the foot of the bed. All of them only just met her, really, and they've all been so supportive. The thought claws its way into the forefront of her mind - is she really and truly positive that she's making the right choice? 

(June): alright older me, if that is your real name...

She wheels the chair from her desk and sits a healthy distance from June. She puts a hand on either knee, her knuckles white with what her older self knows is that familiar, volatile blend of excitement and fear. 

Her eyes are practically glowing and sparkling, and the sight of her blows June's own fears and worries about what she's doing away. She has nothing to worry about. Not like before. Before, she was telling her friends for her own sake. She's telling (June) because she deserves to know. She deserves to have that sparkle and that excitement through all of what's to come.

(June): what is this big, important thing you had to come all the way from whenever to tell me?  
(June): is there a meteor coming right for us and i have to go be bruce willis and save the day, but you have to warn me or i will never know to do it, thus dying in a fiery blaze and ensuring that i never live to become you?

June: well.  
June: there is more of that that is correct than i can really say, but less than you would like there to be. but dangerous, world ending meteors aside, that is not what i came to tell you. 

June takes a deep breath.

(June) waits, eyes wide and eager. 

June: a few weeks ago was my birthday. 

(June): but it's december, how-  
(June): oh, time travel, right.  
(June): please, continue.

(June) waves a hand, clearly trying to appear older for June, more mature and professional. 

June: i turned 23. 

(June): wow, you are way younger than i thought.  
(June): sorry, i will stop interrupting. 

June: haha, you're fine. this is weird and exciting for both of us.  
June: but yes, i turned 23.  
June: and it wasn't long before that i spent a lot of time alone. and sad. and figuring some things out. 

(June): oh wow. what kind of sad? and what kind of things?

June: the lonely, adult kind. and the kind about who i am. who we are, i guess i should say. 

June runs her hands nervously over the smooth fabric of her bed sheets. The last time she saw these exact ones, they were wrapped around the mayor, not her old mattress. The cool of the fabric makes her want to curl up in the bed and go to sleep. 

June: and, well...  
June: hm. maybe i should start by telling you why i am telling you this.  
June: if i had figured out what i figured out when i was younger, when i was you, i think i -  
June: well, we -  
June: would have been a whole helluva lot happier.  
June: honestly, if things that i can't really talk about because time travel were not about to happen, i would not even want to tell you. it isn't always, uh, safe for people to be open about this kind of thing. but that won't matter much longer.  
June: for reasons.  
June: time reasons. 

(June): sorry, i know i said i would not interrupt again, but...  
(June): the way you're talking, it almost sounds like...  
(June): are uh, are we a homosexual? 

One of (June)'s eyebrows cocks up quizzically, and her pleasantly excited face slips into a thoughtful frown. 

June: well, yes, actually.  
June: but not the way you think.  
June: i am - that is, i guess, we are - a girl. 

(June) scratches her head and turns it to the side, as if she can look at the words her older self has spoken from a different angle and find new meaning in them. 

(June): oh. what?  
(June): i know dad can be a bit of a ditz when he hasn't had his pipe in a while, but that is a pretty big thing to fuck up.

June: no, no! he thought he was right when he said we were a boy, but he was just wrong. we are trans gender!  
June: and we still like girls, so we actually are a homosexual. a lesbian, in fact. 

(June): oh, uh. okay. damn. but, how?

June shrugs and gives (June) a reassuring smile. 

June: i do not know!  
June: but it is true! i've spent a lot of time thinking about it and i am so absolutely positive, it is not funny.  
June: i am also absolutely positive that if you spend some time thinking about it, you will, too. 

(June): huh. um. i mean, i have never really thought about this.  
(June): wow, this is big news. 

June: you'll learn more about the specifics and what this means and all when you're older i suppose. but yes, it is very big news. the biggest. 

(June): is that why you haven't had a haircut? i'm surprised that dad didn't hold you down and make you get one. 

June's heart sinks at the mention of their father. She dodges having to mention the fact that he wasn't exactly around to make her get one. 

June: haha, yeah, actually, it is. it feels way better this way. 

She runs her fingers through it. It isn't really that much longer than (June)'s, but it's longer than she's ever had it before in her entire life, and it's definitely noticeable. 

(June): can i, uh... 

(June)'s eyes dart nervously between meeting June's own and looking down into her own lap. Her knuckles are still bright white against her knees. 

(June): can i touch it?

June: sure!

She scoots over on the bed so that (June) can sit next to her, and her young self takes the seat like a frightened animal. June leans over so that her hair hangs where June can reach it. She stretches a hand out slowly and brushes her fingers through it. 

(June): wow, it feels heavier, and it is not even that long.  
(June): i kind of... want it? i am sort of jealous. 

June: i felt the same way about jade's for a while. to be honest, i still kind of do when i see it. 

(June): you get to see jade? like, in person???

June: oh, man, yeah. i probably should not have said that. but yes, all the time!

(June): holy crap! that's so exciting! 

June: you get used to it. but it is kind of exciting seeing our friends in person, for a while. it is even more exciting when they know who we really are. 

(June): which is a girl? 

June: which is a girl. 

(June): i am going to have to think about this for a while, i think. but i do not think you are wrong.  
(June): like i said, i haven't thought about this before. but the more we talk about it, the more i kind of like it?

June: i know i certainly do. 

(June): this is gonna sound pretty weird, but... can i hug you? that won't cause some sort of space time distortion or a wormhole or anything like that, will it?

June: i do not think so. if it would, you already touched my hair, so oh well! if there were going to be any cataclysmic repercussions or back to the future shenanigans, it would have already happened. so i think that's fine!

(June): thanks.

She wraps her arms around June's torso and holds tight. June returns the gesture, draping her arms over her shoulders and putting her cheek to her head. From underneath the embrace, (June) mumbles into her godhood. 

(June): this is a lot to think about. but thank you. 

June: no worries, haha!  
June: i told you for some pretty selfish reasons, to be honest. i just want you to be happy. which is just wanting me to be happy. 

(June): i am glad that you did. 

June squeezes (June)'s shoulders tighter and (June) does the same to her waist. The quiet around them is broken only by the soft whistle of the wind through the half open window that is slowly accumulating a thin layer of snow on the inside windowsill, until the sound of a car outside and a rock hitting the floor in front of them snaps them both to attention. The rock bounces across the floor and comes to a stop at June's shoe. She sticks her head out of the window to find Terezi standing on the ground below, waving at her. 

June: oh, jeez. okay, dad is home, so i can't stick around. promise me you'll think about what i just told you?

(June): how could i not?

June: haha, yeah, i guess you couldn't ignore this, of all things. although, i did for a long time, so maybe not. 

She stands by the window, hesitant and not quite ready to leave. She lifts one leg and sits for a moment on the windowsill, one leg in and one leg out. The chill of the wind makes her shiver and she draws her hood up around her head to block the breeze. 

(June): hey, wait. you said our name isn't john anymore. but you did not tell me what it is. 

Terezi calls up to her from the ground as quietly as she can without being heard from the man bustling across the front yard with an armful of soon to be wrapped Christmas presents. 

Terezi: HURRY UP!

June: i guess i've already told you enough, telling you this shouldn't hurt too much.  
June: it is june. 

(June): june. i like that. 

June: thanks, i picked it myself. 

She ducks out of the window, completely satisfied with leaving on that joke, when it hits her that she's forgetting something. She ducks back under the window and into the room. 

June: oh, i almost forgot!

Terezi: JUN3, WH4T 4R3 YOU DO1NG?!

June: hold on!

(June): who is that?

June: oh, she's just a friend. you will meet her one day. she's basically the weirdest person in any universe. she's great.  
June: but! what i forgot!  
June: you're going to get a message from one of those trolls who's been bothering you and our friends later today. don't block her. at least, not right away.  
June: ask her about all of this. she just might stop trolling you for a second and talk about it. she will not stop being weird though, and a little creepy, so be prepared for that. 

(June): god, do they ever?

June: not in a million years. or even a couple of billion years. i don't know, i am not an astronomer.  
June: the bottom line is, talk to her. i have it on good authority that she might have something helpful to say. 

(June) shoots her older self a salute and grins, all teeth and optimism. The smile June shows her in return is marked with a furrowed brow and a wistfulness she doesn't fully understand. 

She used to be her, the girl sitting on the edge of the bed that used to be hers and still kind of is. She used to be so full of energy, and love, and curiosity. She guesses she still is, under all of the layers of repression and dysphoria. It isn't like she's a different person, just a different narrative. 

She hopes this is all good for her. The younger her. She hopes Terezi is right. 

June: okay. goodbye for real. and good luck. and...  
June: i love you. 

(June) keeps up her smile. She rocks her feet against the baseboard of the bed, her scrawny legs sticking out of shorts just slightly too big for her, ones that her dad bought for her to "grow in to." 

(June): wow, haha, that is pretty egocentric of you, huh?  
(June): but i love you too. or i'll love becoming you. or will i even, now that you've told me this? 

Terezi: JUN3 GOG DAMM1T!

June: i dunno! time travel is weird.  
June: now, i really have to go before terezi blows a gasket. see you, little me!

(June): thanks again, big me! i am proud of you!

(June) gives one last wave and June finally drops down from the windowsill. She falls to the ground below, her powers slowing her to a safe landing and her godhood trailing behind her. 

Terezi: HOLY FUCK, JUN3, T4K3 YOUR T1M3 MUCH?

June: listen, we had a lot to talk about. 

Terezi takes her hand and drags her into the bushes so that her dad won't see them through any open windows as he continues lugging presents in from his car. 

Terezi: D1D YOU R3M3MB3R TO T3LL H3R TO T4LK TO VR1SK4?

June nods. 

June: yep!

Terezi: D4MN 1T

June: huh?

Terezi: D4MN 1T D4MN 1T D4MN 1T

June: what's wrong? i thought you said that would be a good thing?

Terezi: 1T W1LL, FOR BOTH OF YOU, 1'M SUR3 OF 1T  
Terezi: BUT 1 R34L1Z3D SOM3TH1NG 4 F3W M1NUT3S 4FT3R YOU W3NT UP TH3R3  
Terezi: H3NC3 TH3 ROCK  
Terezi: 1F SH3 T3LLS VR1SK4 TH4T SH3'S 4 G1RL, 1T COULD C4US3 SOM3 S3R1OUS PROBL3MS, 4SSUM1NG SH3 FOLLOWS THROUGH ON TH1S KNOWL3DG3 4ND ST4RTS TR4NS1T1ON1NG

June: what? how?  
June: should i go back up and tell her to forget it?

Terezi: NO! SH3 N33DS TH1S! TH3Y N33D 1T  
Terezi: BUT R3M3MB3R, VR1SK4 1S TROLL1NG H3R 4FT3R S331NG H3R 3NT1R3 T1M3L1N3, B3FOR3 W3 CH4NG3D 1T  
Terezi: 1F L1TTL3 JUN3 ST4RTS T4LK1NG 4BOUT B31NG 4 G1RL Y34RS B3FOR3 VR1SK4 S33S H3R B31NG NOT TH4T 1T COULD C4US3 4 P4R4DOX

June: won't she just assume time travel shenanigans are involved? you guys were not stranger to that kind of thing in your session, right?

Terezi: NO, B3C4US3 TROLL14N DO3SN'T WORK L1K3 TH4T! 4ND W3 H4V3 NO 1D34 HOW YOUR POW3RS W1LL 1NT3R4CT W1TH 1T!  
Terezi: 1T M1GHT NOT M4TT3R, BUT W3 C4N'T T4K3 TH4T CH4NC3  
Terezi: W3 H4V3 TO CLOS3 TH4T LOOP, B3FOR3 1T H4S 4 CH4NC3 TO C4US3 PROBL3MS

June: and how do you propose we do that...?

Terezi puts a hand on either of June's shoulders, sighs, and pauses a moment to gather her thoughts. June waits patiently, the points of the leaves on her childhood hedge tickling at her skin and the wind and snow whistling through the branches. 

When Terezi speaks again, her fingers dig into June's shoulder blades. 

Terezi: W3 H4V3 TO GO S33 VR1SK4  
Terezi: WH3N SH3'S YOUNG3R  
Terezi: W4RN H3R 4BOUT TH3 CONV3RS4T1ON 4ND WH4T SH3 M1GHT S33

June: oh!  
June: oh.  
June: is that a good idea? i mean, i don't mind seeing her, i guess, but i assume you do not want to. and what if she does not listen?

Terezi: SH3 W1LL, BUT ONLY 1F 1 T3LL H3R

June: are you okay with that?

June puts a hand to Terezi's cheek and Terezi leans into it, the soft warmth of her palm providing a bit of comfort and protection from the cold wind. 

Terezi: PROB4BLY  
Terezi: YOU'LL B3 TH3R3, SO 1T W2LL B3 34S13R  
Terezi: 1 WOULD DO 1T 4LON3, BUT 1T WOULD HURT MOR3

June: i will do anything you need me to. just let me know. 

Terezi: TH4NK YOU, JUN3  
Terezi: 1 LOV3 YOU

June: i love you too. 

She leans in, kisses Terezi's cheek, and presses her forehead against Terezi's. This close, she can clearly see Terezi's eyes through the red shade of her glasses, the same color but much more beautiful than the pane of glass hiding them. 

They sit this way, quiet and alone together, until June speaks up and asks another question. 

June: when should we go? 

Terezi: 1 DON'T KNOW  
Terezi: WH3N W3 4RR1V3D ON TH3 M3T3OR, B3FOR3 W3 FOUND YOU, WOULD PROB4BLY B3 B3ST  
Terezi: TH4T W4Y SH3 WON'T H4V3 S33N YOU Y3T

June: haha, no, you doof. i meant when should we leave. we have been sitting here for a while and my knees hurt. 

Terezi: OH  
Terezi: Y34H  
Terezi: MY ANSW3R ST1LL ST4NDS, TH4T 1S WH3N W3 SHOULD GO  
Terezi: BUT TO 4NSW3R TH3 QU3ST1ON YOU 4CTU4LLY 4SK3D, W3 SHOULD STOP PUTT1NG 1T OFF 1T W1LL JUST M4K3 1T H4RD3R  
Terezi: COM3 ON

June: i have not been there. not that early in the timeline, anyway. do we need a password, like before?

Terezi: OH, Y3S

June: okay, uh...  
June: what should it be, then?

Terezi thinks for a moment, gears turning in her mind and lips pursed in concentration. 

Terezi: WHY CH4NG3 1T UP?  
Terezi: K33P TH1NGS S1MPL3  
Terezi: JUST TH1NK 4BOUT VR1SK4 4ND  
Terezi: L3T'S GO HOM3, JUN3

June nods.

Without another word, she hugs Terezi close.

They disappear, leaving nothing but the whisper of a winter wind, a father going about his business, and a young girl who's just received a message from a future friend.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been sick for ages and am finally not drowning in illness, so here's another chapter!!

Vriska: Helloooooooo........

Vriska Serket calls into the darkness of yet another hallway on this stupid, good for nothing meteor, looking for any sign of life that isn't one of the eleven idiots currently cowering elsewhere in the sprawling facility. So far, she's had no luck. She's found plenty of corpses. Carapacian clones and monsters in giant tubes who lost their life-giving power when the laboratory was abandoned. And she's stumbled on room after room full of things like that. But not a single breath of anybody living. 

This suits her just fine. She isn't so much looking for company as she is checking to make sure there's nobody around before finding a spot to settle in and sulk. She's about had it with the dopes who have no clue what they're doing and somehow invited a monster to their literal, actual, universal doorstep to wreck their shit worse than the Black King could ever dream to. 

She was so close. So fucking close to victory. She had gotten the killing blow. She had become a god. She was the ultimate hero. Maybe, finally, after the years before the game, and the weeks they played it, her friends would finally get off her back. They would finally see that she had made up for everything she had done. She had even been gracious enough to let Karkat have the honors of opening the door and claiming their final prize! She was going to let him end the entire game as their leader! She even really, truly believed that he deserved it. They all did. And the thanks she got was being tossed onto a stupid rock to hide like a grub in the dirt. She doesn't know who to blame for all of the sudden disgrace, but she knows it was one of them. Maybe it was even her. Maybe all of that luck that she'd stolen had finally run out.

She finally finds a suitable corner that she's positive is devoid of useless jerks. She slumps against the wall, sets up her husktop on the cold metal of the floor in front of her, and adjusts her glasses. The light from the screen shines across her face, lighting up the sharp, blue lines of her makeup and the points of her fangs chewing on her lower lip. 

As soon as her husktop boots up and she opens Trollian to see if it works in this place the same way that it inexplicably does in the rest of the Medium, lights high above her head flicker to life and shine out in the darkness. Equius must have gotten some power running, somehow. At least one of them is good for something. 

When Trollian loads to her main page, she finds that it is, in fact, just as functional as it was before, and she soon receives a message from an old friend. 

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

GC: WH3R3 TH3 H3LL D1D YOU W4ND3R OFF TO?  
AG: None of your business.  
GC: 1T MOST C3RT41NLY 1S  
GC: K4RK4T 1S ST1LL TH3 L34D3R T3CHN1C4LLY 4ND H3 TOLD M3 TO K33P 4N 3Y3 ON YOU  
GC: 1N 4 M4NN3R OF SP34K1NG  
AG: Well, consider your eye kept. I'm 8usy. So go calibr8te somewhere else.  
GC: BUSY DO1NG WH4T >:?  
AG: Thinking.  
AG: Planning.  
AG: Saving our asses. ::::)  
GC: YOU C4N DO 4LL OF THOS3 TH1NGS H3R3 WH3R3 1 C4N SM3LL YOU  
AG: God damn it, Pyrope!!!!!!!!  
AG: I d8n't need a fuckin w8gglers8tter!!!  
AG: I killed th8 Bl8ck King! Didn't I prove t8at I'm tr8stworthy????????  
GC: NO  
GC: NOW G3T B4CK H3R3  
GC: W3 FOUND 4 BUNCH OF COMPUT3RS 4ND W3R3 GONN4 POK3 4ROUND IN TH3M 4ND S33 1F W3 C4N F1ND 4NYTH1NG US3FUL  
GC: SO COM3 H3LP  
GC: OR DON'T  
GC: 1 H4V3NT GOTT3N TO W1TN3SS 4 V4NT4S M3LTDOWN 1N 4 F3W HOURS SO 1F H3 NOT1C3S YOUR3 GON3 TH4TLL B3 4 SHOW >:]  
AG: UGH!!!!!!!!

gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

Vriska: JUST LE8VE ME 8LONE!!!

She kicks her husktop and sends it sliding across the floor and into the opposite wall. There is a crunch that makes her wince.

Vriska: Siiiiiiiigh........

She supposes she'll have to rejoin the others now. There's no way her computer survived that, she's too strong. But she won't give Terezi the satisfaction of showing up right away. She'll get some quality brooding time in first. 

She crosses her arms, scowls, and sets to work at her most time honored hobby -- feeling terrible for herself and obsessing over the thoughts of her friends. And especially Terezi's.

She doesn't have long to brood before she's interrupted by a flash of light in the center of the room that blinds her for just a moment. She shields her eyes, steels herself, and grips her dice tight in the palm of her hand. If that demon, or alien, or secret final boss, or whatever it was is showing its stupid, barkbeast face again, she's ready. It isn't going to fuck up Vriska Serket's life twice in one day. And it definitely isn't going to hurt her, or any of the other idiots stuck on the meteor with her, ever again. 

She rises to her feet, the blue glow of her dice shining out between her tightly clenched fingers, as the flash fades. 

Vriska: Alright, asshole. I don't know what you want with us, or what you're trying to 88 us into, 8ut I'll 8e damned if I let it happen.  
Vriska: 8ring it on, 8itch!

She tosses the dice toward the floor and they rattle across the metal, clanging and clattering, until they come to a stop right in front of the silhouette standing within the fading light.

One. One. One. One. One. One. One. And...

One. 

The fumble causes a bucket of water to materialize over her head and promptly upend itself, spilling its contents all over herself and the floor around her. 

Vriska: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

She holds her arms wide, water dripping off of the heavy sleeves of her jacket, and tries to shake herself dry. She moves the mass of wet hair now hanging in her eyes so that she can see her incoming assailant, and is immediately taken aback by what she sees instead. No demon. No sword wielding, winged barkbeast. Nothing dangerous. 

Or maybe someone even more dangerous. 

She sees Terezi. 

And someone else. Some kind of alien, with its scrawny arms wrapped around Terezi's waist. Her immediate instinct is a pang of jealousy, before she gives way to the throes of utter confusion. 

When her moment of stupor fades, she springs into action. Scooping up her spilled dice and falling into a battle stance, she stands ready to roll them again, hoping she can manage to twist the luck to a better outcome on her second try. 

Vriska: Get your filthy paws off of her, alien scum!!!

June: hi to you too, vriska!

Vriska: What?

Her stance loosens up just the tiniest bit. 

Vriska: How do you know my name?

Terezi: B3C4US3 SH3 KNOWS YOU DUMB4SS  
Terezi: PUT YOUR D1C3 4W4Y  
Terezi: 1F YOU THROW TH3M 1 W1LL 34T TH3M 1 PROM1S3

Vriska's hand drops to her side, and she's overcome by even more confusion and a wave of embarrassment. She quickly smooths her hair down and brushes the stringy, soaking locks from her face. She stands up as straight as years of horrifyingly bad posture will allow and scowls at the pair standing in front of her. 

She kicks the bucket lying on its side away from them and it goes rolling behind a blocky machine covered in generic dials and buttons. She coughs to clear her throat. She hopes that Terezi and whoever this newcomer is won't mention it. 

She has another moment to take in the two of them, and when she does, she notices something odd. Besides the fact that Terezi appeared out of nowhere, and putting aside the alien still clinging to her hip, there's something off about her. 

Terezi: W3 4R3NT ST1CK1NG 4ROUND FOR LONG

As she speaks, she slouches, both hands in her pockets. Her posture has never been great -- it's almost as bad as Vriska's -- but the way she holds herself now is somehow even worse than she ever has before. Like there's an invisible weight on her shoulders. 

Terezi: BUT W3 H4V3 SOM3TH1NG W3 N33D TO T3LL YOU  
Terezi: SOM3TH1NG 1TS V3RY 1MPORT4NT TH4T YOU KNOW

That's what it is. She's older. If she wasn't slouching, she would be several inches taller than the Terezi she saw just a few minutes ago. Taller than Vriska, even, and she's always been the shorter of the pair. This isn't the Terezi that was just standing with her on the victory platform. This is some Terezi from the future. Beleaguered. Worn down. Tired. 

Vriska: Where are you from?  
Vriska: Or should I say when?

The alien, or hornless mutant, or whatever it is, speaks up. 

June: that is not important. but you're smart, you know that. 

Terezi: WH4T M4TT3RS 1S WH4T W3 H4V3 TO S4Y

Vriska puts both hands on her hips, two fists that make her feel taller and more sure of herself. 

Vriska: I've had enough Aradias and Aradia8ots show up out of the 8lue to tell me "important stuff."  
Vriska: Or to 8eat me up. Or kill me.  
Vriska: I know how this whole "vital message from the future" 8usiness oper8tes. 

June: good. then you know we can't say too much. 

Vriska: Yeah, yeah. Causal spoilers. Dooming timelines. All that up8eat 8rass instrument music. That's old hat. 

Her eyes linger on Terezi. Her hair is long and more unkempt than usual. Her shoulders hang. Behind her glasses, her eyes are deep-set, teal bags signalling her exhaustion. She isn't even wearing shoes. 

What happened to sap all of her energy? What has she been through between now and whatever time this Terezi came from? 

Who did this to her?

Terezi: TH3N 1M NOT GO1NG TO B34T 4ROUND TH3 BUSH  
Terezi: TH1S 1S JUN3

The alien gives a little, nervous wave. Whatever she is, she's kind of cute and clearly wants to be anywhere in the universe except for right here. 

Terezi: YOU 4ND TH3 R3ST OF US 4R3 GO1NG TO M33T H3R SOON

Vriska looks her up and down and smirks. 

Vriska: She's going to 8e from whatever universe our dum8 frog makes, isn't she? So, then, we are going to get our reward after all? 

June: no matter where i am from, we can't say. 

Terezi: W3 JUST W3NT OV3R TH1S

Vriska crosses her arms. 

Vriska: Yeah, genius, I know. God, I can't even slip a clever o8serv8tion into convers8tion without getting 8er8ted. 

The alien rolls her eyes. 

June: she really did used to be way worse didn't she? 

Vriska: What's that supp8sed to mean????

Terezi whacks June on the hip with the head of her cane, just gently enough not to hurt her. 

Terezi: PL34S3 DONT G1V3 H3R 4 R34SON TO G3T S1D3TR4CK3D  
TerezI: LOOK VR1SK4  
Terezi: 1 KNOW TH1S 1S 4 W31RD T1M3 TO SHOW UP L1K3 TH1S  
Terezi: BUT 1TS TH3 ONLY T1M3 1 COULD M4K3 WORK  
Terezi: TH3R3 4R3 4 LOT OF R34SONS 1 DONT W4NN4 B3 H3R3  
Terezi: BUT FOR JUN3S S4K3 1 DONT H4V3 4 CHO1C3  
Terezi: SO 1F OUR R3L4T1ONSH1P 3V3R M34NT 4NYTH1NG CLOS3 TO WH4T YOU TOLD M3 1T D1D SHUT TH3 FUCK UP 4ND L1ST3N TO M3

Vriska opens her mouth to retort, a spark of anger flaring at her core. She only stops when she catches another glimpse of the bags beneath Terezi's eyes and the slight turn of her lips that would look like a neutral expression to anybody else. But Vriska knows better. Vriska knows *her* better. 

It's hurting her so much to be here right now. 

She can't help but wonder why.

Vriska: I'm sorry.

The words escape her before she realizes she's saying them. She doesn't really know what she's apologizing for, but she knows it isn't for interrupting just now. Nor is it for anything that she's done to the Terezi that's wandering around somewhere else on the meteor. There's something deeper. Something that this Terezi knows that she doesn't. Something she isn't even sure she should be apologizing for, but she says it anyway.

Terezi: TH4NK YOU

Vriska: Don't worry a8out it.

Terezi: 1 W4SNT GO1NG TO  
Terezi: M4Y 1 CONT1NU3

Vriska: 8y all means.

Any other time, she would have accompanied that statement with an over-dramatic, sarcastic flourish of her hand, but she doesn't. She watches Terezi, still as a statue, arms still crossed as Terezi crosses the room to stand closer to her. The alien - this, June - doesn't follow. 

Terezi splits the difference between them, her cane planted firmly in front of her. 

Terezi: YOU 4R3 GO1NG TO M33T JUN3 SOON  
Terezi: SH3 M1GHT NOT 1NTRODUC3 H3RS3LF 4S JUN3  
Terezi: 1M PR3TTY C3RT41N SH3 WON'T 1N F4CT  
Terezi: JUST ROLL W1TH 1T  
Terezi: SH3S...

Terezi looks over her shoulder towards June, as if waiting for June to say something. To give her permission. 

June: go ahead. you can tell her.

Terezi: SH3S L1K3 YOU

Vriska: What?

She raises an eyebrow in genuine confusion at what she means. 

Terezi: YOU KNOW  
Terezi: SH3 W4S TOLD SH3 W4S 4 BOY WH3N SH3 W4S 4 W1GGL3R

Vriska: Oh. That isn't the first thing I would think you meant 8y "like me." Especially not coming from you. 

This makes Terezi's mouth curl up just a tiny bit in the smallest possible smile. It's barely noticeable, if she didn't know what to look for. 

Terezi: W3LL SH3 1S  
Terezi: 4ND SH3S GO1NG TO N33D YOUR H3LP 1N F1GUR1NG OUT WH4T TH4T M34NS  
Terezi: SH3S GO1NG TO 4SK YOU ABOUT 1T  
Terezi: H3LP H3R  
Terezi: R34LLY H3LP H3R  
Terezi: DONT PL4Y SOM3 TW1ST3D G4M3 TO "1MPROV3" H3R  
Terezi: SH3 1SNT T4VROS  
Terezi: JUST 3NSW3R H3R QU3ST1ONS 4ND G1V3 H3R 4DV1C3  
Terezi: B3 4 FR1END  
Terezi: 1M GO1NG TO B3 W4TCH1NG 4ND 1LL KNOW 1F YOU DON'T

Vriska laughs.

Vriska: And if she does contact me, and I do what you say, 8ut I do it my way, what are you gonna do? Kill me? 

Terezi: 1 WOULDNT PUT 1T P4ST M3

Terezi's face drops back into a frown.

Vriska: Jeez, Pyrope, it was a fucking joke. Would it kill *you* to laugh a little?

She almost adds, "what happened to you?" but can't bring herself to ask something she isn't sure she wants the answer to. 

Vriska: 8ut okay. So, I'm going to meet this June. However the hell that's going to happen. And then what? She's just going to out and tell me she's transgender?  
Vriska: She's just going to say, "nice to meet you, cool and tough alien lady, I'm transgender and a little tweet8east told me you are too?"

June: i mean, i don't think i will phrase it quite like that...

Terezi: BUT 3SS3NT14LLY Y3S  
Terezi: NOW 1 PROB4BLY DONT N33D TO S4Y TH1S BUT 1 W4NT TO B3 SUR3  
Terezi: DO NOT UND3R 4NY C1RCUMST4NC3S T3LL 4NYON3 YOU S4W US  
Terezi: NOT 3V3N M3  
Terezi: 4ND 4FT3R YOU 4LL M33T JUN3 DO NOT T3LL 4NYON3 TH4T YOU KNOW WHO SH3 1S UNT1L SH3 T3LLS YOU F1RST

Vriska: What do you take me for? Look, I'll 8e the first to admit, I'll share some priv8te inform8tion for my own 8enefit, 8ut I do have standards.  
Vriska: Plus........

She rubs one arm with the other nervously. If it were anybody else standing in front of her, anybody besides Terezi -- regardless of the stranger's presence -- she wouldn't be able to say what she wants to say. But whatever this Terezi has been through, she wouldn't be here in front of her, asking what she's asking, if she couldn't trust her. 

Vriska: I never really got the chance to help some8ody like that. To really show some8ody the ropes. Help them get their sea legs. 

June: haha or e legs.

Vriska: What? 

June: e legs. like estrogen.  
June: oh you guys probably do not have that hormone. ignore me, sorry. 

Terezi: JUN3 PL34S3  
Terezi: 1M SUR3 TH4T W4S FUNNY 4ND PROB4BLY V3RY PO1GN4NT 1N HUM4N CULTUR3  
Terezi: BUT W3 4R3 D1STR4CT1NG H3R 4G41N

June: i said sorry. alright. no more jokes. 

Vriska rolls her eyes. 

Vriska: This is the dum8ass you want me to 8e *nice* to?

Terezi: 1 MOST C3RT41NLY DO

Vriska: Talk a8out a tall order.

Terezi: TRUST M3 YOU W1LL L1K3 H3R  
Terezi: YOU 4LR34DY D1D ONC3

Vriska: I don't see why I should trust you there, 8ut whatever. I guess it's up to me to 8e the 8etter troll. 8ut riddle me this.  
Vriska: If it's so important that I 8e there to help this girl, why are you showing up to tell me a8out it? Why am I not front and center to another Megido future-history lesson a8out why it's so critical that we do this or everything is doomed?

Terezi doesn't respond, initially. She stands, thinking, the gears turning in her mind, contemplating what might happen should she choose to answer honestly. 

Terezi: B3C4US3 TH1S DO3SNT 1NVOLV3 4R4D14  
Terezi: OR 4NYBODY 3LS3  
Terezi: TH1S 1S NOT M1SS1ON CR1T1C4L  
Terezi: P4R4DOX SP4C3 W1LL SURV1V3 1F YOU DONT H3LP H3R  
Terezi: NO UN1V3RS3 W1LL D13  
Terezi: BUT 1T M4TT3RS TO JUN3  
Terezi: SO 1T M4TT3RS TO M3  
Terezi: 1 KNOW W3 4R3NT ON TH3 B3ST OF T3RMS 4T TH1S PO1NT 1N YOUR T1M3  
Terezi: OR 1N MY T1M3 1F 1M B31NG HON3ST  
Terezi: WH1CH 1 4M  
Terezi: BUT 1 L1K3 TO TH1NK W3 D1D LOV3 34CH OTH3R 4T ON3 T1M3  
Terezi: 4ND 1 LOV3 H3R NOW  
Terezi: SO 1F SH3 N33DS YOU 1 N33D YOU

Vriska: Oh.

Vriska's face is suddenly sullen and serious. Her big, expressive eyes have narrowed, and she's staring June down like a fly caught in her web. 

Vriska: Okay, then. I got it. No more questions. No more jokes, like June said. Just 8se me for your new g8rlfriend's 8enef8t. 

Terezi takes another step towards her. 

Terezi: Y34H SUR3  
Terezi: BUT NOT JUST TH4T  
Terezi: 1'M 4SK1NG YOU TO DO TH1S FOR YOUR B3N3F1T TOO  
Terezi: 1M PROB4BLY T3LL1NG YOU MOR3 TH4N 1 SHOULD BUT FUCK 1T  
Terezi: W3V3 4LR34DY COM3 TH1S F4R  
Terezi: 1 LOV3D YOU ONC3  
Terezi: FROM YOUR P3RSP3CT1V3 1M GO1NG TO LOV3 YOU 4G41N  
Terezi: OR 1 ST1LL DO  
Terezi: 31TH3R W4Y 1 C4R3 4BOUT YOU 4ND 1 WONT 3V3R B3 4BL3 NOT TO  
Terezi: NOT R34LLY  
Terezi: 4ND TH3R3 4R3 C3RT41N W4YS YOUV3 HURT M3 TH4T YOU C4NT 3V3R M4K3 UP FOR  
Terezi: NOT NOW 4ND NOT 1N YOUR FUTUR3  
Terezi: BUT TH4T DO3SNT M34N 1 STOP C4R1NG  
Terezi: OR TH4T 1 STOP DO1NG TH1NGS TO TRY TO H3LP YOU  
Terezi: R1GHT NOW YOU DONT TH1NK YOU H4V3 4 S1NGL3 FR13ND ON TH1S M3T3OR  
Terezi: 4ND YOUR3 R1GHT  
Terezi: BUT YOU N33D ON3  
Terezi: YOU N33D TO L34RN TH4T YOU DONT H4V3 TO 4ND YOU SHOULDNT TRY TO DO 3V3RYTH1NG ON YOUR OWN  
Terezi: YOU N33D TO L34RN TH4T YOU 4R3NT 4LON3

Vriska blinks back tears and tries to cover the fact that she's tearing up with a cough and a sniff. 

Vriska: Okay, so-

Terezi: 1M NOT F1N1SH3D  
Terezi: NOW TH3R3S 4 YOUNG M3 RUNN1NG 4ROUND H3R3 SOM3WH3R3  
Terezi: 4LL FR3SH F4C3D 4ND 34G3R 4ND GOG D4MN3D OBNOX1OUS  
Terezi: 4ND SH3 1SNT R34DY TO B3 TH4T FOR YOU  
Terezi: SH3LL TH1NK SH3 1S BUT SH3S NOT 4ND SH3 N3V3R W1LL B3  
Terezi: YOU 4R3NT H3R R3SPONS1B1L1TY  
Terezi: YOUR3 YOUR OWN R3SPONS1B1L1TY  
Terezi: SO 1M NOT 4SK1NG YOU TO T4LK TO JUN3 TO US3 YOUR OR FOR M3 TO DO TH3 WORK FOR YOU  
Terezi: 1M TRY1NG TO T3LL YOU HOW TO H3LP YOURS3LF  
Terezi: BY H3LP1NG SOM3ON3 3LS3  
Terezi: M4K3 4 FUCK1NG FR13ND VR1SK4

Vriska is having trouble hiding her tears any longer. Streaks of cerulean blue leave tracks down her cheeks that she hastily wipes away. 

Vriska: Damn, pyr8pe. That spiel was s8 8oring it liter8lly made me cry. 

Terezi throws her hands in the air and turns to pace toward the wall. 

Terezi: UGGGGGGGGH WHY DO 1 3V3N TRY W1TH YOU  
Terezi: COM3 ON JUN3 W3LL T13 TH1S THR34D SOM3 OTH3R W4Y

Vriska: No!

She takes several desperate steps forward to meet them, reaching out as if she could physically stop them from leaving. 

Vriska: No, please, I'm s8rry!  
Vriska: I just... I........  
Vriska: I'm sorry.

June: this conversation might be the first time i have heard you say that with zero sarcasm.

Vriska: Well, I mean it. I know you said I can't make up for all of the shit I've done, and I'm pretty sure you're right, 8ut... You aren't just right a8out that. You're right a8out everything.  
Vriska: As usual.  
Vriska: I'm-

Her voice cracks. Her words tear their way through cobwebs clogging up her throat. 

Vriska: I'm lonely, Terezi.  
Vriska: It's hard, 8eing a god. It's hard 8eing me.  
Vriska: And no8ody understands. 

Terezi: W3 DO  
Terezi: OR W3LL 1 DO  
Terezi: 1 SHOULDNT SP34K FOR JUN3

June: thanks. but you are right, i think.  
June: can i say something?

Vriska: 8y all means. 

Vriska wipes her face with the sleeve of her jacket. 

June: okay so. since we seem to be past the point of caring about causality and all that, i am just going to say this.  
June: the first time we met, before i knew i was a girl, we kind of hit it off?  
June: you were really intriguing, and you kept trying to help me in your own weird way, and you really seemed to know your stuff. and to make a long story short a different version of me and you ended up dating for a long time. we were ghosts. it is a long story.

Vriska: Wow, thank you for your compliments, kind, alien stranger.

June: but.  
June: and this is a big but, haha.  
June: then i found out about all of the stuff that you did. and then you did more stuff that struck me as kind of........  
June: dangerous.  
June: and then another different you tried to help out but still went on to do really kind of dangerous stuff.  
June: so that is kind of how i came to see you. helpful, but dangerous.  
June: i still kind of do. even when you are doing the whole helpful thing, it is still pretty difficult to be comfortable with the ways you choose to help. 

Vriska: You are really making me want to 8efriend you, here, June8ug...

June: okay, as adorable as that nick name was, it does not change my point. the me that's standing here right now has been, to put it lightly, kind of afraid of you.  
June: but i think terezi is right. i think that's because you have needed a kind of help that no one has been able to provide for you.  
June: and to be totally honest, i don't want to be afraid of you. and i do not think i need to be.  
June: it took having people there for me to break me out of a nasty bubble that i am fairly certain i'm not totally out of.  
June: if you are stuck in your own kind of bubble, maybe you can do things a different way. with some help.

Vriska: ...  
Vriska: What's wrong with how I do things?

Terezi: OMG VR1SK4 TH4TS NOT TH3 PO1NT

June: it isn't to say you don't get results. you do. i have to give credit where it is due.  
June: but sometimes there's a little more collateral damage than i think you intend. or i hope you intend, at least.  
June: but that does not matter. what matters is that, no matter what you do, you are trying to help. and i think that means something. so if terezi thinks this is good for us, then i do too. 

Vriska's arms hang at her sides and she can't quite bring herself to meet June's eyes. 

Vriska: Are you done reading me the troll riot act and making me feel guilty? I get enough of that one my own time. 

June: sorry.

Vriska: Hm.  
Vriska: Alright. I already agreed to talk to you. Or past you, anyway. Is there anything else you need from me? Don't you two have other important time travel 8usiness to attend to?

Terezi: W3 DO  
Terezi: SO W3R3 GO1NG TO GO NOW  
Terezi: 1T W4S N1C3 TO S33 YOU VR1SK4  
Terezi: 1 M1SS3D YOU

Vriska: Wow, um, okay. I would say that I've missed you too, 8ut I saw you, like, 8 minutes ago.  
Vriska: Regardless of time, it was nice to see a Pyrope who doesn't look at me like I just killed her lusus.

Terezi smiles at her, remembering all of the times she has looked at her exactly like that. And all the times she had spent with that same look masking her real thoughts. Thoughts of killing Vriska's own lusus herself, and saving her from all of the torment and pain. 

Terezi: MY PL34SUR3  
Terezi: R34DY JUN3BUG

June: well, i am not sure how i feel about this nick name that you are both now using, but yes i am ready. whenever you are. 

Terezi: 3XC3LL3NT  
Terezi: SM3LL Y4 L4T3R VR1SK4

Vriska: Yeah. See ya around. 

June: bye, vriska! it was uh nice to see you. 

Vriska: Yeah. Nice to m8et you. 

Vriska's eyes look everywhere but at June's. There's an awkward silence, and Vriska knows there's something more that June wants to say, but neither of them know exactly what it might be. 

With another bright, white glow, June whisks Terezi out of her sight and out of her life to who knows where and when. She grimaces and swallows down the fact that she'll inevitably have to see the Terezi who's there on the meteor with her again. The Terezi who hates her guts. The one who would sooner watch her bleed to death on the cold floor of the meteor than to toss her a lifeline. 

But that Terezi, wherever she came from, and whatever her Vriska had done to her, had done just that. She doesn't know if this whole being nice and helpful to an alien girl to make herself feel better plan is going to work out, but something in that Terezi's voice has planted a little seed of hope in her. She might surrounded by eleven jerks who all hate her more than the last, but if that future Terezi still cared enough to try and help her... Maybe there's a part of this one who still cares, too. Maybe she hasn't ruined things quite as terribly as she thinks she has. 

With June and the future Terezi gone, Vriska slumps back down against the wall, throws her head back, and stares at the ceiling. She slams her fist against the wall behind her in frustration, both at herself for not handling that situation as smoothly as she could have, and at Paradox Space for putting her in that situation in the first place. 

A part of her wants to be frustrated by Terezi, too. Or June. But she can't bring herself to be. There's too much guilt there, where Terezi is concerned, and too many unknowns with June. Who is she, anyway? She supposes she'll find out soon enough. 

Her husktop chimes from the ground beside her and she picks it up to find the screen has shattered from where she lashed out a few minutes before. Through the spiderwebs of the cracks in its surface, she can just barely make out that she's received a message. 

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

GC: KK 1S COM1NG TO F1ND YOU  
GC: JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW SO YOU DONT TRY TO K1CK H1S 4SS OR 4NYTH1NG STUP1D L1K3 TH4T 1F H3 ST4RTL3S YOU  
GC: SO  
GC: DONT B3 SURPR1S3D WH3N H3 ST4RTS B3LLOW1NG FOR YOU L1K3 4 B1G OBNOX1OUS TRUNKB34ST

gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

As if on cue, the sound of said trunkbeast's bellowing comes echoing down the corridor toward the room she's slumped in. She shuts her husktop, captchalogues it, sighs, and stands to her feet to meet whatever musclebeast shit Karkat is bringing her head on. 

Karkat: VRISKA! HEY, SERKET! WHERE IN THE EVERLOVING FUCK HAVE YOU RUN OFF TO?  
Karkat: THIS METEOR IS PRETTY GOD DAMN HUGE, THERE'S NO WAY YOU'VE GOTTEN THAT FAR. I KNOW YOU HAVE TO HAVE HEARD AT LEAST SOME OF MY SHOUTING YOUR NAME, THIS PLACE ECHOES LOUDER THAN THE EMPTY SPACE IN YOUR THINKPAN!  
Karkat: SERIOUSLY, SERKET, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? WE ALL NEED TO BE TOGETHER FOR THIS, WE'VE FOUND PRETTY UNIVERSE-SHATTERINGLY FASCINATING!

Vriska: UGGGGGGGGH!!!!!!!!  
Vriska: I'm in here, Vantas!

She rolls her eyes, crosses her arms, and leans in the doorway to the hall. In a few seconds, Karkat rounds a corner, spots her, and throws his hands in the air. 

Karkat: FINALLY! FUCK, DO YOU EVER KNOW HOW TO MAKE YOURSELF SCARCE. HOW COME YOU NEVER DO THAT WHEN ANYONE WANTS YOU TO? 

Vriska: Solely to annoy you. ::::)  
Vriska: Now, what do you want, Vantas? I happen to 8e pretty 8usy. Irons. Fires. You know the drill. 

Karkat: AS FUCKING IF. WHAT IS THERE TO DO ON THIS HUNK OF SPACE ROCK?

Vriska: Um! More than someone so 8oring, simple-minded, and uncre8tive, like some people, who shall remain name and 8lood-colorless, can fathom. ::::)  
Vriska: Now, tell me what you want 8efore I get tired of this convers8tion and go fly off to find some 8etter companionship with that demon thing.

Karkat: SHUT YOUR TRAP FOR EIGHT SECONDS AND LISTEN AND I WILL.  
Karkat: WE FOUND A BUNCH OF COMPUTERS. THAT'S NOT INTERESTING. AND DOESN'T MATTER ONE SINGLE BULGESHITTING IOTA. WHAT MATTERS IS WHAT WE FOUND ON THOSE COMPUTERS. 

Vriska: Let me guess, this is where Zahaak has 8een keeping all of his creepy fanfiction a8out himself going protein chute to protein chute with Megido? 

Karkat: WHAT? NO, GROSS, SHUT UP.  
Karkat: ALL OF THEM HAVE TROLLIAN ON THEM. AND THE TROLLIAN CLIENT IS CONNECTED TO OUR UNIVERSE SOMEHOW. 

Vriska: So........ We can check up on the dead, lifeless husk of Alternia?

Karkat: NO! NOT THAT UNIVERSE, DUMBASS. *OUR* UNIVERSE. THE ONE WE JUST PAINSTAKINGLY CRAFTED WITH OUR OWN FRONDS AND HAS SNATCHED FROM US UNCEREMONIOUSLY BY A GOD DAMNED BARKBEAST. YOU KNOW, THAT THING THAT HAPPENED LIKE TWO HOURS AGO? OR DO SPIDERS ONLY HAVE AN EIGHT SECOND MEMORY? THAT WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT.  
Karkat: BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY THAN THE UNIVERSE IS WHAT'S IN IT. THERE ARE ALL THESE ALIENS RUNNING AROUND. ALL GROSS, AND SOFT, AND WITHOUT HORNS. AND THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY QUADRANTS FROM WHAT I CAN TELL, IT'S REALLY-

Vriska: Oh, my god!!!!!!!! I get it, Vantas, you can stop. What's so important a8out that? If we can't claim the reward, why do we care a8out whatever is going on inside the stupid frog?

Karkat: BECAUSE! WE FUCKING MADE IT! WE MADE THEM! MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING WE CAN FIND OUT FROM THEM ABOUT THAT PLACE THAT WILL HELP US GET OUT OF HERE. OR INFORMATION ABOUT THE DEMON TO KEEP US SAFE FROM IT, AT LEAST.  
Karkat: AND BESIDES, FOR ALL WE KNOW THIS IS PART OF THE FUCKING GAME, AND WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO ALL OF THIS. WE NEED ALL FRONDS ON DECK. 

Vriska scowls at him. She thinks about Terezi and June, and what they told her. She knows he's right, but she's loathe to admit it, and not just because she was asked not to tell anyone about them. 

Vriska: As much as I hate to admit it, you might have a point.  
Vriska: Fine. I'll put my own very important and highly critical plans on the 8ack 8urner for the time 8eing. Show me these aliens.

Karkat: GOOD. THIS WAY. SOLLUX SHOULD BE ABOUT FINISHED MAKING SURE THEY'RE ALL WORKING PROPERLY. 

Karkat turns back the way he came, and Vriska hesitates a moment in following him. She looks over her shoulder at the room behind her, and she glances at the spot where Terezi and June stood. She sighs.

She follows Karkat into the depths of the meteor. Neither of them says a word to the other, and both of them are happier that way. The entire time, she can't stop thinking about Terezi. What she said lingers with her. What is she going to do that will hurt her? What else could she do that would hurt her more than she already has? And more importantly, now that she knows about it, is there a way to keep herself from doing it? 

When they enter the computer lab through a transportalizer pad, Sollux waves at them, his face implacable and his glasses glinting with the flickering light of the computer screen. 

Sollux: hey kk. ag.  
Sollux: thii2 ii2 the la2t one and iit 2eem2 two be workiing 2moothly.  
Sollux: theyre all old a2 2hiit but theyre nothiing a liittle captor magiic and elbow grea2e cant keep runniing.  
Sollux: whenever you want two get 2tarted on thii2 plan of your2 were ba2iically good two go.

Karkat: EXCELLENT. THANK YOU, SOLLUX. 

Vriska looks around the room and sees all eleven of her teammates there. Together, and as peaceful as they can be. It's almost sweet, if all of them weren't wrapped up in the complicated and frustrating relationships made even more difficult by the sadness of their defeat. And if she hadn't done something to push all of them away at some point or another. 

Karkat and Sollux huddle around a computer, Sollux pointing something or other out to him on the screen. Nepeta sits in the corner with Equius, her delightedly curled up in his lap while he watches everybody else. Feferi and Eridan are huddled around another computer, glubbing away and bickering. Kanaya has her hands full trying to keep Tavros and Gamzee from destroying a computer by pouring sopor slime into its innards, no doubt in some attempt to bake it. Aradia is standing in the corner, her robot eyes unblinking and her metallic frame still as a statue. 

Terezi sits alone at another computer, her head in her hands and her cane leaning against the desk. She wants to go over and talk to her. She doesn't. 

Karkat: SERKET, THIS ONE IS GONNA BE YOURS. YOU'RE RIGHT HERE NEXT TO KANAYA SO SHE CAN KEEP AN EYE ON YOU. 

Vriska: Thank you, Karkat, your trust is so reassuring.

Karkat: CAN IT AND SIT DOWN SO THAT I CAN START GETTING EVERYBODY UP TO SPEED ON THE PLAN. 

Vriska: Aye aye, fearless leader. 

She swings an arm into a salute with sarcastic enthusiasm before taking a seat at the computer he indicates to her. She cuts the monitor's power on and sure enough, the Trollian client window greets her, with four unknown chat handles in the contact list, as well as those of everyone in the room with her. A notepad file open alongside it has a message pinned for her. 

TA: try not two get any of the2e poor 2ucker2 kiilled, iif you can help your2elf 2erket. 

Vriska: Ugh.

She closes and deletes it, throwing a glare in Sollux' direction. She hasn't even done anything to him in perigees, she thinks. She barely even talked to him when they were in the game, and all of the stuff with Aradia was so long ago that she had convinced herself it had to be water under the bridge. But he must not see it that way. Not even after everything she did to help the team. 

It occurs to her that Terezi probably feels the same way. She wonders if any effort she makes will make it up to her, or if future-Terezi was right. If any idea or fantasy about swooping in heroically making it all better can ever change how Terezi feels. 

Her pump sinks and she clenches her jaw tight to hold back her tears. There are too many of them around for her to br8k. 

She needs a distraction. 

She pokes around the Trollian client, looking at the video feeds attached to each handle. That's new, Trollian never used to do that in the game, or on Alternia. 

She clicks from name to name, and sees several weird, hornless aliens that look a lot like smaller versions of June mulling about their lives. One wearing sunglasses and muttering to itself sits alone in its livingblock playing a video game, while another runs across a beach, long hair blowing in the breeze. A third sits on some sort of soft looking, soporless recuperacoon, scribbling away in a notebook and sipping a cup of what looks like heated legume beverage. The final alien, she recognizes. 

It's much younger, and much smaller, and it isn't wearing a godhood, but it's definitely the girl she just met. It's June. 

As she watches the younger version of the alien laughing and typing something in a chat client not unlike Trollian, there's a knock on her respiteblock door. She opens it to find the older version of herself who Vriska just met, twice as tall and now dressed like a proper god, standing there. 

Vriska closes the video feed and sighs. So, Terezi definitely wasn't lying. Not that she thought she was, this just serves as undeniable proof, in case she tried to avoid what Terezi tasked her with. 

She glances across the room and can just barely make out Terezi's own screen over her shoulder. She's watching the same scene. The older June has just sat down on the edge of this alien's soporless recuperacoon. 

She looks back at her own screen and stares more through it than at it. She thinks about what Terezi has said, and what June needs from her. She thinks about whatever wedge it is that she's driven even deeper than it already is between herself and her former Scourge Sister. 

Fuck that. 

Whatever made June afraid of her, whatever made Terezi somehow even more distant, she isn't gonna let it happen. She's a hero. She killed the Black King. She won them a universe. It isn't her fault that someone else snatched it from them. 

She controls her future. She controls her luck. And it's about time she turns it the fuck around. 

She opens up a chat log with Terezi and types furiously while one of the non-June aliens paces in its respiteblock. 

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

AG: I'm sorry. For everything.  
GC: >:?  
AG: Don't give me that surprise noodle mouth, you know what I mean.  
AG: I'm sorry.  
AG: I don't expect you to forgive me. Or say anything else. 8ut I needed to say it 8ecause of........ Reasons.  
AG: ANYWAY. Feel free to go 8ack to 8gling alien girls, weird8.  
AG: Thanks. 

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

She closes the chat window and stares straight ahead again. Her pump is racing and she wants to look back at her to see her old friend's reaction, but she resists. She said what she needed to say. The ball is in Terezi's court now. 

She opens up June's feed again and sees the older one drop out of the window, leaving the younger one alone again. She cracks her knuckles, takes a deep breath, and gets down to 8usiness. 

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB]

AG: Hello, there, alien. ::::)  
AG: I know you don't know me, 8ut I happen to 8e close friends with the lovely young woman who just a8sconded through your respite8lock window.  
AG: And I have it on good authority that you and I are a8out to 8ecome 8osom 8uddies as well.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a rough year. 
> 
> Dealing with repeated illness of various varieties (mental, physical, etc.), as well as diverting a lot of my writing time to a fangame I'm working on with my partner and some friends makes writing fanfiction hard, but I do intend to finish this, and I've still got a ways to go. Also, you know, the WORLD EXPLODING certainly makes wanting to write fanfiction difficult.
> 
> And, just to be clear for anyone reading this - 
> 
> ACAB.
> 
> Black lives matter.
> 
> If we aren't on the same page there, don't read the words I wrote cause I don't want you to.

When the light of June's retcon powers fades once more, Terezi takes a deep sniff of the air around them and discovers they've come back to the lake they left only an hour or two prior. At least, an hour or two from their perspective. The universe, and its previous incarnation had been through several thousand years in their absence. 

The air is still, and tastes the same. A kind of damp, misty flavor touches her tongue and she breathes deep through her mouth to take it all in. It smells, and tastes, and feels just like the night that they left. In the sky, she tastes the orange swirl of the sunrise behind the mountains. 

June stands in front of her, and their fingers are entwined. Hers are shaking, ever so slightly, and June gives them a squeeze. 

June: are you okay?

Terezi: Y34H  
Terezi: TH4T COULD H4V3 B33N 4 WHOL3 LOT WORS3 1 GU3SS

June: do you think you got through to her?

Terezi stands in quiet contemplation. The air in the room had been tense, and the smell of Vriska was still lingering in her memory. What she could make out of her face, the blurry lines of her furrowed brow, and the swirling colors of her frown were a look that Terezi was more than used to seeing. 

Terezi: Y34H  
Terezi: 4ND TH3 F4CT TH4T TH1S PL4C3 1S ST1LL H3R3 1S PROOF TH4T W3 D1DNT FUCK TH1NGS UP TOO B4DLY  
Terezi: W3 KNOW 34RTH C 3X1STS ST1LL  
Terezi: 4ND 1TS ST1LL 1N ROUGHLY TH3 S4M3 N4RR4T1V3 LOC4T1ON  
Terezi: SO 4T TH3 V3RY L34ST SH3 D1DNT RU1N 4NYTH1NG  
Terezi: HOP3FULLY

June: that is not what i asked. 

Terezi sighs and, for a moment, she doesn't answer. Her fingers loosen in June's grip and she pulls away from her. 

Terezi: Y3S 1 TH1NK 1 GOT THROUGH TO H3R  
Terezi: 1 KNOW 1 D1D  
Terezi: TH3 QU3ST1ON 1S 1F SH3 4CT3D ON MY G3TT1NG THROUGH TO H3R  
Terezi: WH1CH 1S L3SS C3RT41N TH4N 1 WOULD L1K3 1T TO B3 >:[  
Terezi: WHY D1D W3 COM3 B4CK H3R3?

June: i just picked the first spot i could think of. and i figured going right back would be easiest. i guess the thought didn't really cross my mind that it might not be here anymore.  
June: heh.  
June: sorry. 

Terezi: NO 1T W4S SM4RT  
Terezi: 1F W3 JUST POPP3D 1NTO TH3 VO1D OF SP4C3 W3 WOULD 1MM3D14T3LY KNOW TH1S W4S 4 DUMB 1D34 4FT3R 4LL 4ND COULD  
Terezi: F1X 1T

June: i guess so.  
June: so, then... what now?  
June: do we just keep on with everything we were doing before? find our friends, and i guess us?  
June: i wonder how little me is doing at this point.  
June: or big me, i guess? normal sized me who is the same age and size that i am now, even though she was a baby literally twenty minutes ago. you know what i mean. 

Terezi: 1 UND3RST4ND YOU P3RF3CTLY  
Terezi: 1 4M FLU3NT IN BUMBL1NG DUMMY  
Terezi: 1 L1V3D W1TH D4V3 FOR 4 SW33P 4ND 4 H4LF R3M3MB3R >:]

June: hahaha!

Dave: woah hey

Both of them jump at the sudden interjection. They freeze, and silently turn to find the bright, cherry red form of Dave Strider sitting beside the lake and watching them calmly. 

Dave: what did i ever do to the two of you  
Dave: been nothin but a good friend for over a decade  
Dave: more than ten years of absolutely nothing but the most magnanimous friend stylings  
Dave: and you pop in here like some kind of lame magician and her weird but hot assistant and pulling out insults like theyre rabbits from your dumb fancy hat  
Dave: not gonna comment on which of you is the hot assistant and which of you is the hot magician  
Dave: shit i just mean magician  
Dave: and just assistant not hot assistant  
Dave: point is thats some shameful behavior to lay on a bro behind his back

June: oh! hi, dave. fancy meeting you here.

June laughs, quickly letting go of Terezi's hand with a flush of embarrassment. 

June: why are you here?

Dave: cant a guy just sit by his favorite lake and catch some relaxation time away from the never ending and hectic problems of bein a god  
Dave: sometimes you just deserve some time to yourself damn girl

June: i guess he can, yeah.

Dave: the real question is what brings you two to this spot all uninvited  
Dave: and what happened to your tits  
Dave: and whyd you get a haircut  
Dave: not that i dont like it you just always make a big deal about your hair  
Dave: and damn i shouldnt have asked about your tits sorry  
Dave: that was real fucking weird of me  
Dave: didnt mean to ask about your tits  
Dave: im gonna stop saying tits now  
Dave: you arent my june are you

June slips her hands into the pockets of her god pajamas. She purses her lips in the universal symbol of mild discomfort and rolls her eyes. 

Terezi: NO SH3 1SNT "YOUR JUN3" 1F YOUR JUN3 1S WHO 1 TH1NK SH3 1S

Dave: damn okay alright  
Dave: so if theres transnarrative travel goin on and multiple junes runnin around whats going on  
Dave: is there yet another universe smashing demon here to wreck our shit again  
Dave: or did someone just fuck something up so badly that you and terezi had to pull off a time heist to save our dead asses yet a fucking gain  
Dave: or did you just really wanna say howdy to your good friend dave here  
Dave: aw shit do i die again im getting real tired of that

June: hm.  
June: i guess in a way you kind of did? but not so much in a normal death way so much as a just kind of no longer existing way. 

Dave: aw shit  
Dave: you guys have already changed shit up havent you  
Dave: you already flipped that disc and carried us to earth c side two the hidden masterpieces  
Dave: the c sides  
Dave: damn what did you change this time and did it involve laying out that little skeleton creep  
Dave: or laying out spider troll

June: no, no punching this time. plenty of vriska, though. 

She makes mental note that if Dave knows about her wrestling with Caliborn and punching Vriska, somehow similar events must have transpired here. And her other self must have gotten hold of the same powers she has.

She sits down in the grass across from Dave. Terezi stands still at her back, both hands on the head of her cane, like a statue placed in the field long before any of them arrived. 

Dave: damn well  
Dave: at least i didnt miss any of the action this time  
Dave: so then there was no knock down drag out brawls but tons of vriska  
Dave: what the hell does that mean  
Dave: what did you change

Dave leans back on the palms of his hands, his cape tucked underneath him, spread out across the grass like a picnic blanket. The sunlight glinting off of his shades is a flash of gold that makes it difficult to look him in the eyes. When she does manage to get used to the light and look at him, she notices that the bottom left half of his face is torn, scarred, and burned. 

It hits her that this is not her Dave. 

Her Dave was never a stranger to injury. He was covered in nicks and cuts that were constant reminders to them all of what he had been through when he was younger. But this was different. This scar was new, and it could only have come from an injury far worse than any he had before. 

She turns to look at Terezi, who must have already noticed the same thing. She shrugs, as if to say "1 N3V3R S41D P3OPL3 WOULDNT G3T HURT."

June: we, uh...  
June: well, i guess it won't hurt anything to tell you, if it's been a decade from where you're sitting.  
June: we told me - young me, i mean - that i am a girl. in my timeline, i didn't find out for a very long time. 

Dave: oh  
Dave: shit girl well uh  
Dave: congratulations  
Dave: that explains the tits then you arent on the skittles like my girl june is

June: well, no. if by skittles you mean trans gender hormone therapy. but also, you said you were going to stop saying tits. and you have not. 

Dave: shit sorry  
Dave: too much time around gamz  
Dave: damn i probably shouldnt call him that either  
Dave: too similar to gams like with an s  
Dave: im talking about gamzee not about some dudes legs

June: you... hang out with gamzee?

Her face twists up in a look of disgust and Terezi lets out a retch that she doesn't even try to muffle. 

Terezi: FUCK1NG WHY >:?

June: he isn't locked up in a fridge?

Dave: well he was  
Dave: but when vriska fucked off to wherever she fucked off to we let him out

Dave nods in Terezi's direction. Terezi clears her throat at the mention of Vriska.

Dave: you  
Dave: well our tz  
Dave: wanted to confront him about some bullshit that went down on our big meteorological space journey  
Dave: and when she was all good and screamed out about it he kidna just  
Dave: hung around  
Dave: hes way more chill now but no less fucking weird  
Dave: i try not to hang around him too much but hes been making himself a presence lately like a lanky victorian ghost just bein creepy and occasionally making weird noises in your hallway at three am  
Dave: speaking of  
Dave: why are you being so quiet terezi  
Dave: june got your tongue  
Dave: i know our june certainly does

June stiffens a bit.

June: what is that supposed to mean?

Terezi: NO ON3 H4S MY TONGU3 BUT M3

Dave: no sis i mean like yall cant stop macking on each other for more than five minutes  
Dave: i swear if i spend one more party having to listen to terezis gross slobber from a couch on the other side of the room  
Dave: somehow louder than anything else going on  
Dave: im gonna pack up my shit and take off after vriska myself

June: oh. okay, well. 

Dave: i dunno if yall are a thing where youre from but if you are can you promise me that youre more respectful of your daves sensitive sensibilities  
Dave: please  
Dave: even if its a baldfaced lie

Terezi: 1 PROM1S3 OUR D4V3 H4S NOT S33N US HOLD H4NDS L3T 4LON3 PL4Y1NG TONS1L 4R3N4 ST1CKB4LL

Dave: so yall arent an item in your timeline then shit okay  
Dave: sorry didnt mean to make this even weirder

June grins and waves at Terezi to sit down next to her. She does so, begrudgingly. 

June: no, actually! we are a thing. but that is very recent.  
June: as in "we decided it a few hours ago from our perspective" recent. 

Dave: oh  
Dave: congratulations for that too then shit  
Dave: so what are yall doing then  
Dave: you made our timeline happen i guess  
Dave: transed your gender and all that  
Dave: now what are yall just gonna hang here with new june and check out what this version of earth c has to offer

June: that is actually what we were trying to figure out next. to be honest, i don't think i want to be a second june just floating around?  
June: i am worried i would get too familiar with how dave sprite felt. 

Dave: davesprite?  
Dave: damn you dont even know about davepeta do you  
Dave: that dude got all mixed up sprite style with a sprite made outta that cat troll  
Dave: hes never been happier  
Dave: or they havent been happier i should say  
Dave: being two of them kickin around in there and all  
Dave: they opened up a skate park  
Dave: theyre basically the tony hawk of earth c except people actually recognize them and care  
Dave: point is theres nothin wrong with not being the alpha you  
Dave: thats a stupid as shit concept anyways  
Dave: you can still do cool shit live a happy and fulfilling life and all  
Dave: what other choice do you have

June: huh. when you put it that way...

Terezi: YOU H4V3 4 ST34M1NG P1L3 OF HOOFB34ST SH1T

June: i am sorry?

Terezi: YOU SHOULD B3  
Terezi: FOR L1ST3N1NG TO TH1S DR1V3L  
Terezi: WH4T OTH3R CHO1C3 DO W3 H4V3 D4V3?  
Terezi: W3 C4N M4K3 OUR OWN CHO1C3S TH4NK YOU

Dave raises an eyebrow over the rim of his shades. 

Dave: that  
Dave: is exactly what i said

June: yeah, what do you mean?

Terezi: YOU  
Terezi: MY D3LIGHTFULLY CH3RRY SH4D3D 4LT34N4T3 T1M3L1N3 COMP4TR1OT  
Terezi: 4R3 NOT 4T 4LL SUGG3ST1NG TH3 S4M3 TH1NG TH4T 1 4M 4T 4LL  
Terezi: WH4T YOU 4R3 SUGG3ST1NG 1S TH4T W3 L1V3 1N TH3 SH4DOW OF OUR 4CT1ONS  
Terezi: TH4T W3 4CC3PT B31NG S3COND FOLKSY MUSIC4L STR1NG BOX 4ND L3T OUR OTH3R MOR3 N4RR4T1V3LY R3L3V4NT S3LV3S HOV3R OV3R US L1K3 SP3CTR3S OF WH3R3 W3 C4M3 FROM  
Terezi: WHY H4NG 4ROUND H3R3 L3TT1NG TH3 P3OPL3 W3 R3M3MB3R H4NG OUT W1TH TH3M 4ND L34V3 W4TCH1NG FROM TH3 S1D3L1N3S L1K3 4 COUPL3 OF S4DS4CKS  
Terezi: W3 H4V3NT SP3NT SW33PS G3TT1NG TO KNOW TH3S3 3X4CT V3RS1ONS OF TH3M L1K3 YOU 4LL H4V3

June: we do not know that's what they would do!  
June: maybe we could still be friends with them, just the same. i mean, i was friends with dave sprite just as much as with dave. 

Dave: and i for one have met more than my fair share of junes and terezis one more pair couldnt hurt  
Dave: although you might wind up with some freaky parent trap shenanigans and mishaps  
Dave: like accidentally pinching the wrong junes butt or something  
Dave: or slobbering on the wrong set of june lips yknow

Terezi: 4S 4PP34L1NG 4S TH S1R3NS C4LL OF TH1S POT3NT14L M1SCH13F 1S S331NG MYS3LF H4NG1NG 4ROUND 4ND 3SP3C14LLY W1TH 4NOTH3R JUN3 1S NOT SOM3TH1NG 1 W4NT TO S33  
Terezi: MY THOUGHTS 4R3 B4D 3NOUGH ON TH31R OWN  
Terezi: 1 DONT W4NT TO KNOW WH4T TH3YLL B3 L1K3 1F 1M COMP4R1NG MYS3LF TO H3R 4ND OUR R3L4T1ONSH1P TO TH31RS  
Terezi: 1M SORRY JUN3 BUT 3V3N 1F YOU D3C1D3 TO ST4Y H3R3 1 DONT TH1NK 1 C4N

June: then... what was the point of this?

Terezi: WH4T?

June: was this all just for vriska? 

Terezi: WH4T DO YOU M34N >:/

June: i mean, if i decide to stay and you do not. was this all for vriska then? to give her a chance to be happy, but not us?  
June: there's nothing wrong with that, i guess. and little me will be happy, too, but... i came here for you. i went along with this because i know this is what i would have wanted if i was in her shoes. my formerly younger now not so younger self i mean. and because it was what you said i needed. we needed.  
June: and i do not need any kind of happy ending here. seeing her happy will be enough for me. 

Terezi's lip quivers. She sniffs, not to help her see the scene in front of her, but in an attempt to disguise her shaky breaths. She remembers when she had to tell Vriska that it was over, the first time, all those sweeps ago. When she couldn't do it anymore. It had been hard, and she didn't want to do it. But she had. And now, she had done all this work to fix things. With Vriska, and with herself. 

She remembers the cold, empty darkness of paradox space, spending all of that time looking for her. She doesn't want to go back out there again. Not alone.

June: but without you here, what will i do? just exist? i'll admit, that does not sound that bad and dave makes an intriguing point.  
June: but i think ultimately you not being here would make me feel more like a tag along june than anything else would. i cannot imagine what i would have felt like if roxy hadn't come with me the first time we did this.  
June: i guess what i am saying is, i don't want you to leave. not without me.  
June: we've done this all together twice now. i can't abandon you.  
June: we are a thing. june and terezi. just like we said.

Dave: damn yall got a guy sobbin over here  
Dave: just a blubbering water faucet spitting tears instead of rhymes  
Dave: i havent gotten all hazy eyed like this since karkat made me watch troll titanic

Terezi: B3 QUI3T D4V3

Dave: sorry

June has turned her body so that she can look Terezi right in the eyes, and is so close her breath brushes against Terezi's cheeks. 

Terezi: TH4NK YOU JUN3  
Terezi: 1 WOULDNT W4NT 4NYON3 3LS3 BY MY S1D3

June: me neither! i would not have even thought to make this choice without you. and you're the only person who remembers the same way i do.  
June: so, then, let's leave new june to this life. and let's go make new memories somewhere else, together. 

Terezi blushes and the morning sunlight lights up her cheeks with a warmth she hasn't felt in a long time. Like she has a partner again. It isn't quite like it was with Vriska, but it feels right. Less like someone is guiding her, leading her by the hand into adventure after adventure, and more like someone standing by her side. Still hand in hand. Still in love. Still together. But different. 

She smiles. 

She can't make June and Terezi be the same thing she had before, but she can let it be something new. 

She kisses June's cheek.

Dave sniffs back a tear from the hill beside them. He blows a sob into his cape and then wipes his eyes with it. Terezi and June both turn to look at him. 

Dave: oh man  
Dave: sorry i know you guys told me to be quiet  
Dave: and i know you didnt intend to have this little heart to heart planning session with an audience over here  
Dave: but still this is some goopy shit i cant help but drop a few saline bombs

June: haha you are fine. 

Terezi: BUT YOUR3 ON TH1N 1C3

Terezi lets her hand fall into the increasingly natural position it's in, wrapped up in June's. She gives it a squeeze and takes a deep breath. June's blue eyes are wide and smell just as delicious as ever as they look into hers expectantly. 

June: i guess the only thing we have to do now is make one more choice. where do we go?  
June: we kind of have all of this new universe at our beck and call. hell, all of paradox space, don't we?

Terezi: 1 H4V3 4 W1LD SUGG3ST1ON

June: hit me

Dave: woah i didnt think this was a blackrom th-

June: be quiet, dave.

Terezi: WHY DO W3 H4V3 TO CHOOS3 NOW?  
Terezi: TH3 CHO1C3 TO KNOW TH4T W3R3 GO1NG TO L34V3 1S 3NOUGH FOR ON3 D4Y 4ND W3 C4N F1GUR3 OUT TH3 R3ST  
Terezi: W3V3 B33N PL4Y1NG 4LL OF TH1S BY TH3 S34T OF OUR TROUS3RS WH4TS 4 L1TTL3 T1M3 TO TH1NK?

June: that sounds pretty good, actually. we can settle down here for a little bit and rest for a while. then we can take off to what ever and where ever we want!  
June: and if that is what we're going to do... can i make a request?

Terezi: ONLY 1F YOU SUBM1T 1T 1N TR1PL1C4T3 TO TH3 APPROPR14T3 4DM1NSTR4T1V3 D3P4RTM3NT OF OUR R3L4T1ONSH1P

June: hm. but i do not have the official paperwork. or a pen. so fuck that, i think.  
June: what i was hoping to know is, before we go for real, can we check on new june?  
June: not just how she is doing right now, but how she got along altogether. i do not want to watch her whole life or anything, but maybe just try to hop to a few points just to enjoy getting to see her. 

Terezi: 1 DONT S33 WHY NOT  
Terezi: TH3R3 1S NO H4RM 1N T4ST1NG TH3 FRU1TS OF OUR L4BORS

Dave: do you guys want me to take you to see her  
Dave: ive got a brunch date with her and some other friends  
Dave: im sure shed love to see you before you fuck off into the void

June perks up where she's sitting, and Terezi can almost smell the stars in her eyes. 

June: that sounds great, actually! is that okay with you, terezi? 

Terezi: SUR3  
Terezi: 1 C4N H4NDL3 1T FOR 4 L1TTL3 WH1L3 SO LONG 4S W3 DONT ST1CK 4ROUND

June: excellent! i promise we will not linger, and if you get uncomfortable, just tell me, okay? 

Terezi nods.

June: so where are you all brunching it up?

Dave floats up into the air above them, adjusting his shades as he does. He waves for the pair to follow him and starts off, calling over his shoulder. 

Dave: karkat is making flapjacks  
Dave: so follow me to casa strider-vantas

As Dave disappears into the distant hills, June hefts Terezi onto her back and the two race off after him. 

June: are you going to be okay seeing karkat after the other night?

Terezi shrugs on her back, arms gripped tight around her neck and cane dangling in the air beneath them. The wind whips past her hair and she uses June's shoulder to push her glasses up on her face to help block the breeze. 

Terezi: 1TS OK4Y  
Terezi: 4S F4R 4S TH1S V4NT4S KNOWS TH4T N3V3R H4PP3N3D

She watches the distant sun continue its path over the mountains, growing harder and harder to smell with the gust blowing around them. 

Terezi: 4ND B3S1D3S  
Terezi: TH3S3 4R3NT OUR FR13NDS


End file.
